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carlson92 · Jul 13, 2009, 05:55 AM

Is just me, I just don't feel that she wants to heal from it. Maybe is just me thinking too much.

talaniman · Jul 13, 2009, 08:31 AM

I think so, too! Your thinking way too much about her, and what she will do. What your going to do, is where your thinking should be.

carlson92 · Jul 13, 2009, 08:54 AM

Imagine that time man before NC. Lol. Still carrying out my daily routine on self improvement and the NC rule.

carlson92 · Jul 20, 2009, 08:41 AM

One thing I just realize... trust level among my ex and I are still up there.
Just saying.

Oh yeah... a few of my friends and my ex are going on this vacation trip organized by the school. I didn't go cause she is going (NC rule you know) so I joined another vacation trip organized by the school. I don't think I should say have a good vacation or whatever to her huh? 3/4 of my heart is telling me not to but the other 1/4 tells me to.

NC since 29th June

talaniman · Jul 20, 2009, 10:08 AM

Keep NC, and the trust level between you now means NOTHING, just saying.

carlson92 · Jul 20, 2009, 07:24 PM

All right.

carlson92 · Jul 27, 2009, 06:23 AM

It is wise to ignore whatever people talking about me and my ex especially them talking to my ex right? I mean I feel that anger and uncomfortable when people do that. How can I handle this type of situation?

kctiger · Jul 27, 2009, 06:32 AM

I know that my friends are well aware, even to this day, that I DO NOT want to hear about my ex. In my mind, she is dead, so talking about her etc. just isn't productive at all. Set the expectations. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but let it be known (as if it shouldn't be anyway) that you just don't want to hear or talk about your ex.

carlson92 · Jul 27, 2009, 06:43 AM

I mean like her friend, like not my friend. I be very open here, the friend which I think is whatever(interested or interesting) to her, is like insulting me behind my back, I get to know this as one of my friend just tell me. What I feel now is like, sort of mixture of hate and like towards my ex and as for my ex towards me, I think she hates me(I always expect the worst). What's bothering me is how can I handle this type of situation even for the future (with maybe another incident like this with another girl)?

kctiger · Jul 27, 2009, 06:46 AM

I really don't follow you too well, but it seems to me like you need to separate yourself from this BS drama that is apart of your life. If you do your job, your ex will have ZERO to do with your life or most people in it.

carlson92 · Jul 27, 2009, 07:56 AM

OK... will do. Thanks.

friend4u178 · Jul 27, 2009, 03:52 PM

What your Ex or for that matter anyone else says about you is totally out of your control so no point worrying about it.

What people think about you is the important thing , and they'll think of you as a good person if you demonstrate that through your actions , then whatever anybody has said about you doesn't matter.

carlson92 · Jul 27, 2009, 05:21 PM

You just made me fell better. :) This NC thing is harder and longer then I expect, cause I still feel the sting when my ex talk to someone else but not as much.

carlson92 · Aug 3, 2009, 08:53 AM

Ok, so I have been going NC since 29th June and I been feeling real easy and happy now. Saying first to prevent confusion, although she blocked me in msn until now but she didn't block me in skype. So today suddenly I feel abit different after seeing her skype pm says "really want to tell you, what you made me do".

I know she is that type of girl who takes time to do things and think properly as she never let her parents know about personal stuff especially our past relationship. So it a sudden strike to me that she wants to tell me something without telling me directly. You get what I mean guys? Half of my instinct tells me to talk to her, but the other half says continue NC. Yes nc I know but I do read stories here that the some actually brake nc and got a very good result as it took them enough time with the nc.

Answer my questions . I don't want to make a wrong decision like if I choose to continue nc then I miss the opportunity for the better.

I do care about her and I be frank here that it won't affect my progress of NC if I do initiate some contact especially on that type of problem like her pm.

Thank you in advance.

kctiger · Aug 3, 2009, 08:56 AM

The only type of communication worth any merit is DIRECT communication. Reading into anything else is an absolute waste of time. If she wants to get ahold of you, she needs to find you directly! Continue onto NC. Games are for children.

talaniman · Aug 3, 2009, 02:25 PM

Her skype pm says "really want to tell you, what you made me do".

What you made her do?? Come on, can't you see her laying the guilt trip on you?? Making this your fault, and she bears no blame?? Not a good idea to break NC!

carlson92 · Aug 3, 2009, 05:56 PM

Okie dokie. Good point guys. Think I'll just not break nc then. Will update on more in the future. :)

carlson92 · Aug 16, 2009, 02:25 AM

Ok a quick update on my progress and happening now. :)
Its been going pretty good I suppose so far. Been feeling very good with my new girl, but when I go out with her, my mind automatically brings some memory when I was with my ex, but I try to shake it off always. Can't lie to myself the fact that I still miss my ex a little, but I think I'm at the stage where I'm cool with her going on a date with another guy.

I been avoiding any status from social networking of my ex's possible, like knowing it but do nothing about it due to sticking to NC.

Just to me is like, her happenings is abit messy I would say. Not sure whether to give her a hand or just leave it.

I do have a question, in what situation should I brake NC and intiate contact with her?

Btw, her birthday is coming up, next month, 4th September. I know what to do for that I suppose. :)

talaniman · Aug 16, 2009, 06:04 AM

Nothing at all!!

carlson92 · Aug 16, 2009, 06:55 AM

Erm OK. One question bother my mind sometimes.
By undergoing NC, what benefit do I get out of it? Besides my own healing.