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lovelen · Oct 21, 2008, 01:05 PM

I am so glad that all of you guys are helping me out and answering my questions and helping me solve my problems! And Bonnie46 I thought about what you said about how he is pretty much slapping me in the face and that id go back to him in a week and forgive him.. I just realized that I actually would've called him back and forgave him if he really did slap me... now I know how bad this is. I've only pictured what he has done to me emotionally but never really translated it to what it could do to be physically and now I know that I am so blind. This time I'm hoping to have no contact with him not with the intentions that he will miss me and come back, but to have him out of my life for good.

starbuck8 · Oct 21, 2008, 05:30 PM

I actually still have my computer. It didn't go to get fixed today. I would like to say, unfortunately from first hand experience, for you to think of that physical slap in the face. What he is doing to you is 100 times worse. Ask any woman that has ever been beaten, and I bet you the consensus would be, that they would rather be hit anyday, than have the emotional scars. They are far worse. Bruises and physical injuries will most often heal, it's the emotional ones that are harder to deal with. I'm glad you are realising now what he is doing to your spirit.

lovexoxo24 · Oct 22, 2008, 01:12 PM

Well, I have the same problem. And as of now we are dating.
I hate the feeling when they come back to you when you finally meet somebody else. But if being with him is what makes you happy. Do what you can to get him back without being obsessive and annoying.
:)
That's what I did.

lovelen · Oct 23, 2008, 08:37 PM

I didn't talk to him for only two days and I already broke the no contact today.. I stupidly texted him and then called him when he didn't answer.. being the jerk he is asked "what. what do you want" and I hear his brother in the background saying "are you serious? youre talking to her?" he told his older everything.. and what is weird is that his brother also knows about how he cheated on my when we were together but he didn't care.. my ex said his brother was happy he cheated on me.. but now his brother is mad that he cheated on his new girl because I'm guessing he didn't like me with my ex... it sucks how my ex somehow turned his family against me when I didn't even do anything wrong..

friend4u178 · Oct 23, 2008, 08:46 PM

So stop contacting him . This little episode should show you that all your trying to do is get a little "fix" by contacting him and all it does is backfire and you feel worse.

Keep your dignity Lovelen , he doesn't deserve you and he is demonstrating that.

spyderglass · Oct 23, 2008, 09:08 PM

Love, you should delete his number from your phone, you probably have it memorized but it could really help when you are trying the 'no contact'. If he is such a 'friend' he wouldn't be toying with you and playing on your emotions. This boy (he's no man mind you) is not ready for any relationship, he is just not ready to commit to ANYONE! This is your chance to be single for awhile and to get out there and do things that you enjoy, by yourself or with a close friend. Get in touch with yourself before you go looking for another relationship, you need plenty of time to heal. You deserve a better, more faithful person than this boy.

lovelen · Oct 28, 2008, 03:26 PM

Its been five days of no contact with the ex and it's actually been a lot easier than I thought! I think that every time I've had to go through no contact, it just gets easier and easier each time. I'm hoping to keep this going for an entire year! Or at least not to be the first one to contact each other.

I don't ever ever ever visit his myspace or blog or anything that has anything to do with him. I've also lost touch with one of my closest girlfriends because her boyfriend is his best friend and its only obvious that she would mention something of him and I would just get sad over it.. so that's also helped me to stop talking and thinking of him.

I know I'm not supposed to give myself false hope, but what is actually getting me through this easy as well is the fact that I keep in my mind that if I keep this up, he will finally sense the way it feels to not have me around for good.. and I want him to have that time because the longest time we've had apart was no more than just a month or so and that's not a lot at all!

There are obvious moments where I ask myself, what am I doing? Should I call or text him? And I realize NO why should I? He pushed me off the cliff when his girlfriend found out and broke it off with him and then spent every waking minute working to get her back without realizing that she wasn't the only one that got hurt. So its just good that I'm having this time to think about things and realizing more and more every day.

I just hope that maybe after a year, if it gets that far, he'll realize SOMETHING is missing.. if not, I'll know it really is done with.

starbuck8 · Oct 28, 2008, 03:47 PM

I'm glad that you are feeling a bit better about things. You will still have those moments once in awhile where you will be reminded of him, but just keep those thoughts in your head. Talk to us whenever you are having a bad day and thinking of him. Don't worry about slipping up the last time. It's done. I think you're doing great! :)

EDIT: By "thoughts in you head", I meant the thoughts of how he treated you. Just wanted to clarify that

friend4u178 · Oct 28, 2008, 04:44 PM

If you can keep it up for 12 months believe me you won't want him back!

NicoleCervone · Nov 2, 2008, 11:06 AM

Personally I think you should tell his girlfriend that he cheated on her. Not to be mean to her but wouldn't you want someone to tell you if your boyfriend was cheating on you. That is the most disrespectful thing in the world. If you really care about someone then you don't do that. And if he doesn't have the common sense to realize what he is losing by stying with someone he likes instead of someone he loves than he is an . Everyone deserves someone who loves them with everything they have and when things get hard, got out of there way to make it right. If your ex doesn't think your worth the effort then you need to find someone who does. No one deserves to be treated the way he is treating you or his current girlfriend. Lying and cheating is the cowards way of dealing with life.

starbuck8 · Nov 2, 2008, 11:12 AM

It's not her job to tell the other woman. In fact that is a bad idea. The new girl will only think that it's a bitter ex trying to stir up trouble, because she wants to get back at the ex, and it will serve no purpose, and just make her look bad. She needs to leave this alone.

lovelen · Nov 2, 2008, 11:31 AM

My ex already told her he cheated! That's why he begged her back and now they are happy together ;( ugh its been 11 days that I have been in no contact with him.. I can't believe he chose her.. I realized that I'm depressed..

lovelen · Nov 2, 2008, 06:12 PM

I texted him today and he didn't answer so my friend called him and he answered so he did read my text but he was ignoring me so I texted him again and I asked him why was he not talking to me and how he told me "i want to be friends".. but he told me to leave him alone and stop bothering him and he wants me out of his life and said I wanted to be friends "until you did all of this $hit!" so he's blaming me for cheating? And at the same time he was with his girlfriend so he was showing her everything I was saying. I don't get it you guys. I didn't do anything wrong to deserve to be treated like this. And he is changing for her! Why is he chosing to treat her so well? I don't get it. It makes me furious but so sad at the same time. Why is he cutting me out? Blaming everything on me? And changing his ways and treating her so much better than he treated me? Why? He's only known her for four months. I don't get it. And how can she allow him to treat me like this? I mean does she have no heart? How could she have taken him back in the first place when he cheated on her and slept with another girl for an entire month? I don't get this. I didn't do anything wrong. I need help I feel so weak