[Fixer12]

Thank you so much everyone. I do realize now that I was in a relationship that was not only hurting myself, but hurting my life. I am now going to do my best to stick to the No contact. I hope that I will be strong enough to stick it out.

I do still feel bad about not wanting to have her in my life anyone, she was once a huge part of it.

[aiyerrc]

Your life will improv 100 fold when you truly don't want her in your life.

In no way should you feel bad about anything you do to her. She is a lying, coniving, deceitful slut and she's still in high school

f'*** her, she will bring down every new boyfriend she has for yrs to come

[Fixer12]

I agree. She probably will, I shouldn't feel bad at all.

Like I had said above, it's just so weird taking someone who was so close before completely out of your life.

I know that I can do this. I just don't believe that she should be out there being happy, it doesn't deserve it.

[aiyerrc]

I promise you, her quick fix happy will not work in the long run.. all the things you are feeling is a good sign that you truly care about people, especially if you are in a relationship with someone. Even though this girl hurt you repeatedly, you still care for her. It will take time, but someone will feel the same way about you. Right now, just have fun with college, party hard, and meet some girls!

I still think joining a fraternity is a great way to leave everything that has happened over the last several months in the dust. Really do look into it, and I promise you won't regret it.

[Fixer12]

Yea, she had texted me on christmas saying hi and merry christmas. I was fine with that but it still got my mind wandering. She said she still thought about me a lot, and I knew I did her. She and I text a little bit amount through out the day, but honestly nothing was solved. I can't tell if she cared about me or doesn't. I honestly don't know any more. I am want to completely take her out of m life and ignore everything, but I am scared too... I don't know how to actually go through with it without coming off as a...

[talaniman]

Click on the links in my signature, for some good ideas.

[Fixer12]

So yea. Recently she had posted new pictures of herself on myspace... it was kind of hard to see, but yet at the same time... I didn't see too much. It wasn't hard for me to get over... but still when I first realized it (cause I guess the new myspace made me a subscription to her all of a sudden.. ) (I changed that haha). But I still got the feeling of a pain inside me... I don't know what to do... I almost texted her and wanted to ask... but I didn't... I hate this... I want to feel better soon.

[aiyerrc]

NC NC NC..!

Ignore her completely man... its so hard I know

I just broke up with my GF tonight(well mutual), I know its hard.

But dude, xmas break is almost over, so I know this is one of the only places to be because its so damn boring being home, but once you are back at school, you will have things taking your mind of things. Some things to do when you get back:

Pick up a few extra hours, maybe something that interests you, not some boring core class.

Join the nearest gym to campus. Gyms near campus usually have some student discount. If you need the extra money, tell your parents why your joining the gym( I assume they know the whole situation because your parents are the biggest listeners at our age) and I'm sure they will fott the monthly bill

JOIN A FRATERNITY!!

Any or all of these will get your mind focus on positive things...

Its hard I know man, but you are in college, which means you have a good head on your shoulders. You will overcome this man, I promise...

[Fixer12]

All right, I have been going off and on with this girl for almost 2 years. When we are together things really work. Right now we had just gotten through a really big dry spell of things not working. Now she acts like she loves me more then ever and would do anything for me. It has been that way for almost a month now.
So she and I had been dating since I was a senior in high school and she was a freshmen. Yes, I am in college now and she is still in high school. We have learned a lot of things together. Ever since we started dating my parents never liked her. They "tried" to like her, and told me they actually never hated her... but I know now from the way they act they do. They haven't known that we have been back together for the last month because I have been to scared of telling them. I have been waiting for things with us to finally settle down so that way I don't tell them, and then she and I end up breaking up right away. I have a feeling they are going to find out soon, and I have no idea what I am supposed to say. I know they will pull the whole, "thanks for lying to us" on me. It has just been so much easier with them not knowing, but I am starting to feel extremely guilty. My parents never liked her because they thought and heard from other people that she was one that "got around." And there had been some truth behind that, but they never really took the time to ask me about it, or get to know her on their own. They're friends would tell them stuff about their family or things they have heard, or even stuff she has put me through during our break ups, and my mom's exact words were, she is a "slut".
Things with us recently have been much different, when we are together we are really happy. Right now we are currently having to do the long distance relationship thing, but it has been working really well.
I just know my parents are going to find out soon, and I have no idea what I am going to do. Or what I should say, I'm tired of having to hide things from them. Or do I keep hiding it? Please any advice on help would be great! Thanks

[talaniman]

Long distance is hard on everyone, even the most committed of us. Add to that the youth and inexperience, of you both, and the fact that your at different stages in life, conflict, and confusion, is the conditions you have to deal with. You actually have too much to worry about, and does it matter what your parents think of who your with? Of course it does, and raises even more conflict between you. I suggest that you concentrate on dealing with the things you can control, (you) and accept that you cannot control everyone, or every situation. Make you the priority in your life, and try to deal with the rest, in a positive manner. Good luck.

[s_cianci]

First of all, your parents should know better than to listen to hearsay from other people. But you yourself admit that there's some truth to it so you've got to be careful as well. If you eventually want to try and get your parents' approval then I wouldn't continue to hide it from them. Encourage your parents to get to know her and assure them that you feel that this girl is right for you. Let your parents get to know her and see how she is on a firsthand basis rather than just relying on gossip and hearsay.

[Fixer12]

That is a good point. I am just so nervous about telling them in general. My mom is the type of lady that will pull all types of guilt trips on me.

Also we have done the long distance before, we did it for almost one full school year. Yea we had our ups and downs, but we did it up to the last few weeks.

I want to tell my parents, I do. I just know they are going to act like I am making the biggest mistake, and that is going to be hard to deal with all the time.

[talaniman]

I just know my parents are going to find out soon,

Part of manhood is standing for what you think is the right thing to do. Whether you agree or not, always respect your parents. I have never argued or disrespected mine, no matter what they have said, because after I left their presence, I knew I would do what I thought I had to. So must you, since we all know we can't please everyone, not even your parents, who will always be your biggest critics, and most loyal supporters.

SERENITY PRAYER
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

[Fixer12]

Yea, I believe you are right with standing up for what I believe is right. I know in the end they won't do much. I am just not wanting to disappoint them.

[Fixer12]

So for those of you that may have read my past entries... or still can. You will see that I had a girl basically take over my life. Well during the last month or so, I let her do it again. The point is this time... I actually want it to be the end. I want to feel better for once! I want to not have someone in my life and actually feel the way I did when I did have someone!
I have been trying so hard to move on from this girl, but every time she tells me something I want to hear I get back together with her. She seems to only want to be with me until something better comes along for her.
For those of you who don't know we have been in a long distance relationship for a long time. In fact I was supposed to be going home this upcoming Saturday to see her. It was going ot be a great weekend of only me and her. I could tell during the last week that they caring had been becoming one sided. So I tried harder. We were both sick with the flu at the same time, so I just figured she was trying to shake her cold. Time went by and she still acted like she never wanted to talk to me. She called me on her lunch and said, "oh i love you so much!" But to my knowledge a few hours later she was going to send me another text saying, "i think we need a break." After she got out of school we talked about it (obviously on the phone) and she said she just needed to think. So I called her before I went to work and she said she just needed to calm down and she was acting this way because she missed me. She wanted me to be home so bad. I told her I would be home, but she would say, "yea well then what will happen after that?" I told her I honestly didn't know that once I got more money I would come back home to see her.
The hard part is she and I wouldn't have had any real future of spending a long time together, not even the summer. My parents had just moved, and she knew all of this before we had gotten back together, and she said "i dont care how far away you are, i realized i will always love you." So I believed her.
That night she went out to dinner "with her Dad." Which to me still seemed kind of weird. She told me on the phone that I had nothing to worry about and that she was going to go home right away so when I get off we can talk. So about 30 minutes into their dinner I send her an "i love you so much" text message. I go to check my phone again and I find. "i am sorry we need to break up please don't call me." I just wrote back "ok" and that was the end. This girl has been playing games with me for so long! For some reason I can't just seem to stay away! I want to cry, but I find myself not being able too. When I was at home we fought a lot, and we could never go do anything because I didn't want people knowing about us, cause every time I started telling people about us she broke up with me again. I really feel like she just went out to dinner with another guy, not her dad. Why is it I feel this way? I have been through this, but I am so scared of actaully taking her out of my life forever. I don't know why. She deserves it after everything she put me through. Chances are I will never see her again. I am transferring schools at the end of this semester, and she is still a jr. in high school. I am sure that right now she already has some other guy in her arms. I just hate feeling like this on valentines day. Why do I feel like this? I don't really want to be with her, but I am so scared everythime I am alone. I am scared of my thoughts. What do I do?

[talaniman]

You said it best, your afraid of being alone. It has made you a class I, sucker for whatever crap she gives you. The only way to break this cycle, is very strict no contact, ever, no how, and learn to be happy by yourself. You have been here long enough to know, that help is here, just click on the links in my signature, and follow a few suggestions. Not easy, but it ain't hard.

[Fixer12]

Your probably right. I just wish I could feel better. I still look at the clock cause I have an idea of what she is doing... how long will it take where I no longer care?

[talaniman]

That depends on how hard you work on your own behalf.

[Fixer12]

That is true. I have been working pretty hard. I have been down for about 6 months now. I just want that stupid mind controlling to go away. I am so ready to be happy and start something new. I just feel that being alone is really hard. Not being aroudn someone or having someone there to comfort you.
I have no idea what is going to happen in my life.

[Fixer12]

You know something I realized today that I have been going back and forth with this girl for 10 months! I have been wasting my time and have been so unhappy for 10 months!!