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angel73 · Feb 18, 2006, 07:45 PM

Your story like mine.. she will never ever back to you trust me and you will see that!! Whatever you trying to get her back she will not.. sorry to say that but its true because that's what happened to me exactly and I still want him back to my life.. my advice to you forget her and start dating another ladys that's will work.

mattyd22 · Feb 19, 2006, 02:28 AM

I know what I need to hear and I understand what wildcat is saying, but I don't need to hear it over and over and over again. As for the house, I cannot sublease it as it is not mine. I cannot afford an apartment around here at all. All I can do if find a roommate but none of my friends need a roommate at this time and I probably will never just "find" a roommate and live with someone I don't even know. If I sound bitter or angry at any of you I sincerely appoligze, but like I said, I just need to talk to friends here and not get yelled at or have the same thing constantly get beaten into my head. I know I have to suck it up and move on, I know that. But please, just let me be sad, let me mourn, and let me seek people to console me because I need that right now. Thank you.

JoeCanada76 · Feb 19, 2006, 06:59 AM

Maybe if you hear it over and over again. It will sink in and you will realize that your putting yourself through things that you can get out of and stop using your stuck as an excuse not to make a move. Even if it does mean you need help from even government to stay somewhere. >

talaniman · Feb 19, 2006, 07:45 AM

In the four months you 've been stuck you could have moved back with mom and dad and had a dollar in your pocket by now,you don't need anymore consoling you need some action!

fredg · Feb 19, 2006, 08:34 AM

Hi,
This original question (post) is almost 4 months old!

mattyd22 · Feb 19, 2006, 11:11 PM

Well, thanks for sugesting moving in with mom and dad, but I cannot, not because I don't want to, I just can't. I turned to you guys to help me through this as nobody in my "real" life seems to care, and it seems that nobody on here wants to deal with me anymore either so I am moving on... Thank you to the ones that did talk to me compasionatley, I appreaciate your imput. I wish everyone here the best of luck.

talaniman · Feb 20, 2006, 03:56 AM

Son, after listening to your problem for 4 months and reading all the good advice that has been given I expect you to quite whining and get a plan of action and do it! I don't know what the deal is with your parents but in 4 months you could have made a reasonable decision as to how to deal with your situation, so forget that nobody loves me crap and stand on your own two feet.As you can tell I hate seeing some one sit on the pity pot and go with the woe is me routine so get busy and make us proud of you,Is this sinking in yet cause I'm tired of repeating myself and your still sitting on the same spot.:cool:

Wildcat21 · Feb 20, 2006, 08:55 AM

There was a lot outstanding advice given here.

The solution for this guy is for her to come running back in to his arms - WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

She sees this pitty-party, feeling sorry for himself guy... n oway she wants him. What a drag.

I bet $1 million she is repulsed by him.

Move on dude - get some confidence back.

I would advise moving I nwith your parents - you need a massive change I nyour life.

And this gal isn't coming back - and yet you have to see her every day - and I bet she craps on you as well and you take it. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Change your life pal now!

Wildcat21 · Feb 20, 2006, 09:10 AM

And moving in with your parents may not be cool, but you can save money. I don't know what your financial situation is, but it sounds like you spent money a little too freely... women hate that as well. I sounds like you let a lot of things slide in your life over this women. Not good. I bet this whole things has effected your work as well - not good.

See AGAIN - when you put a women up on a pedestal.

Wake UP - she left you!! She's with another guy or guys. Do you really want that back?? NO!

There are other women out there!! It happened to me many times to count... AND I always found a better.

This gal isn't your sloe mate, if she was, she'd be with you. This is is a learning experince.

Get out of that house, she isn't coming back - especially in this situation.

Chery · Feb 22, 2006, 05:52 AM

Dear Matty, we can support you with experience,advice and try to help you build up your self-confidence again. The rest is up to you, so please don't hang your head and walk out on this, as running away will never help you now or in the future. We are here for you 24/7, to help, but the only one who can actively do something to change your life is you.
You could rent the house out to someone else and use that money to find a small place, or you could sell it and start over. Let her fend for herself - she needs to learn a lesson too and you don't need to be her 'knight in shining armor' since she has not come close to you since the last time we posted, so you know where you stand. This might hurt like heck now, but it will pass and make you stronger - make her pick up the tab for herself and you take care of Number One - YOU!
If you do rent out, she'll either have to get along with them, or move herself, but you are making it too easy for her - STOP doing this.
Get back with us, please.

Wildcat21 · Feb 22, 2006, 08:55 AM

To be blunt - why would you want to be with this girl? She put you in a bad position here.

You have grow, learn, build confidence. Your current living situation won't allow that.

mattyd22 · Feb 27, 2006, 11:39 PM

Hello all, me again. Well, I decided to come back just to see what you guys are saying. Wildcat, I really do appreaciate you trying to help, but the way you speak to me is absolutely horrible. I know you're all about being blunt and all, but calling me "pal" and acting like you know my entire situation is plain wrong. You even stated that I spend money too freely? How the heck do you know? The truth is that I git into some money problems when I was younger and am still struggling to pay it off, not to mention family problems which require me to help out. I bust my *** day in and day out to make ends meat and never treat myself to the finer things in life. Perhaps you have that luxury, but I do not. I am not trying to sound rude here, but please, syop posting in this thread if you are going to continue to make me feel like a piece of s**t. You want blunt, there it is. Again, I appreaciate you trying to help me, but you are not. Your approach may help some, but not me, and I am sorry for that. As for you others who have given me what I need (compassion, and just talking NICELY) I thank you from the bottom of my heart. When I read your posts I feel better and I get a good outlook on life (sorry wildcat, but when I read yours I just get outraged and feel like crap). All I wanted was some friends I could TALK to and most of you have given that to me, and again, I thank you for that. As for my situation, I discussed it with the ex and she is going to let me start paying her less for my part of the mortgage and all so I can save some money for a place (she recently received a raide at work and can afford to pay more than she has... very sweet of her for helping me out). Like I said, I know I need to get out and I have been trying to, now I can start. Things have continued to be civil in the house, and we actually have fun as friends latley. It is known that nothing will be the same between us, and I am beginning to accept that. As a matter of fact, I have been talking to a great girl and it seems as if something may be developing with her and it feels great. I am however kind of holding back, being cautious. I just don't want to get hurt again, but she is really sweet and has made it known that she likes me a lot. We'll see how things pan out there. Guess that's it for now, just an update for you guys. Thank you again everyone!

jeffatl · Feb 27, 2006, 11:45 PM

Good for you bud! A lot of times the "tuff love" thing is the only way to drive the point home. I know it was with me, but hey, everyone is different. I think (for the most part) people need to be slapped out of that "feeling sorry for themselves" phase, and reality has to hit. Its cool that it doesn't work for you though. I was wondering what ever became of this situation... that's great that she is helping you out, she probably understands that this situation itsnt the best for the both of you. Also, that's good that you are "holding back" because I REALLY don't think you should pursue this anymore, just move on. She is helping you out of her life now, and you should take that for what it is, not something else. Good luck with your situation, just take some time for you now. Ive got a new gal after about 6 months and I am just going day by day, nothing more. Best wishes, Jeff.

Wildcat21 · Feb 28, 2006, 10:15 AM

You needed tough love and still do, because nothing changed. You needed massive change.

I believe you're in the friend zone.

Chery · Mar 4, 2006, 09:38 AM

Dear Mattyd.. glad your situation is changed and you feel a little more comfortable. The rest will eventually fall into place for you. Please be careful about the new 'rebound' relationship and be as fair to her as you'd expect from other women from now on, being burnt as you were. Just take care, be yourself, and take it slowly so that you'll be able to breathe debt-free and stress-free air for a change.

The best of luck and wishes,

Chery