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nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 07:01 PM

I know it's bad, trust me. I just don't know how to move on. You think I don't want to move on lol

JoeCanada76 · May 7, 2009, 07:06 PM

If you wanted to then you would have already moved on. Start living life for yourself and no one else.

nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 07:09 PM

Well like I said I have a kid, so it would be a lot easier to move on if I didn't have one. I could still be at a real college and not caring about him. But I have a lot of time to "think" during the day and that is never good. I just don't see myself being happy for another year or 2 lol.

JoeCanada76 · May 7, 2009, 07:10 PM

That's your choice.

ajGambino · May 7, 2009, 07:46 PM

First steps into making yourself happy again is to go NC. After that, keep doing NC. When you feel that you want to contact him, STOP. When you feel the need to reach out to him in any way, even if it's just a thought, STOP. I know it's hard now but every day is a little step closer to being happy.

Work hard.

IWHO · May 7, 2009, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by ajGambino

The fact that he left you high and dry (and pregnant...) shows how much he really cares for you.

You deserve so much better then that and the reason the two years of breaking up hasn't treated you right is because you didn't treat the break up right.

I am assuming that the reason you are still in contact with him is because of the child... but Gambino is right... You deserve better than this... after two years, Hun, I don't think he's coming back... time to move on...

nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 08:25 PM

Well that is why I am on here lol.

JoeCanada76 · May 7, 2009, 08:36 PM

Lol
Lol your laughing a lot. Why is that.?
Lol

Are you really series on moving on, because it does not seem like you are. I do not know, everybody has given you excellent advice.

I think it is up to you to act on that advice and make changes for yourself. If your not willing to do that then you will always live in the shadow of your ex.

So move on. By going from all the advice given here. If nothing here catches your eye and your series enough to move on you will.

If not, well it is time for you to seek out counseling.

They will be able to go more in depth of your persona and why you keep holding on to something that will never be there.

Joe

nicolerocks711 · May 7, 2009, 08:44 PM

You just don't know my personality, I overuse "lol" online lol :P

liz28 · May 7, 2009, 09:46 PM

Why did you start another thread? Go back and read the responses again because your just going get the same advice over and over. Also, the threads are just going get merged like your other two threads did.

For the future, don't start a new thread relating to the same topic. It only confusing members. Lol lol (As Jesushelper pointed out this can become ignoring)

Romefalls19 · May 8, 2009, 05:23 AM

I know I use a lot of my own experiences on this board and some people think it's a bad thing but it's the best way to relate. My fiancé had an ex husband who abused her, she stayed because of the kids too. He is addicted to heroin and uses other drugs a lot, he's a first class douche bag.

She didn't know what to do, here she was stuck thousands of miles away from home, with his parents nagging her to take him back.
Fact: You will always be in contact with him, for at least 18 years anyway.
Fib: You can't move on because of this.
Fact: You deserve better than this douche bag
Fib: You won't find someone who will love you again

You deserve better, you are a beautiful woman, get out there and show the rest of the world what we already know

HistorianChick · May 8, 2009, 06:15 AM

Emotions are a roller coaster.

At Busch Gardens (and Disney World, for that matter), when you have a gold pass, you can ride the roller coaster for as long as you want! No lines, no waiting, no cares; just loops, spins, gut-wrenching drops, head spinning highs, and terrifying lows.

But, at Busch Gardens, you have to decide when you want to stop riding the roller coaster, get off, get a glass of lemonade, and sit in the sun for a while.

Emotions are just the same.

It is your decision when you're going to move on. You must decide. No one can make you stop riding the roller coaster if you want to ride it. No one can tell you how you can move on unless you just do it.

Get off the emotional roller coaster and move on with your life.

It's a mental choice. We've all made it.

Believe me.

talaniman · May 8, 2009, 06:32 AM

I imagine your child brings you joy, so focus on that, and make a plan for yourself. Its human to have down days, but even then, we can find things to take pleasure in. This feeling will pass. Let it.

Survivor07 · May 8, 2009, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I imagine your child brings you joy, so focus on that, and make a plan for yourself. Its human to have down days, but even then, we can find things to take pleasure in. This feeling will pass. Let it.

I was going to say the same. Had to spread rep

Do you find joy in your child? I understand the pregnancy wasn't planned and having to be a single mom at your age wasn't planned... BUT some of the best things in life are unplanned!!

Please enjoy your child. Motherhood is a blessing... (in between diapers and tantrums and sick visits to the doctor... ).

You never know what's going to happen down the road... this may be the only child you'll ever have and kids grow up sooo fast. Focus on your son and your future and do your best to put the sperm donor behind you

IWHO · May 8, 2009, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by chuff

Also, your dad is a better man then me, because if some douche bag smacked my daughter in my house he'd have a hard time getting out. Even though your not in a perfect situation, your parents have gone above and beyond by letting you move back in.

I agree with Chuff... I would have smacked him MYSELF... and I'm a little lady...

Give yourself some time... take care of your son and your parents... and things will turn around for you...

And get that Yahoo out of your mind!. The MINUTE you start to dwell on him... CALL someone... eat ice cream... take your son for a walk... ANYTHING to keep him OUT of your mind... then you will be able to let other things in your life... that will help...

nicolerocks711 · May 8, 2009, 06:37 PM

Well when he did hit me, I did try to hit him back lol .

It's hard not to think about him though because I have a lot of time on my hands, sadly I think about him everyday lol.

I think my life will get better, but I already had 2 years of hell and I feel like it will be another 2 years until I am happy.

IWHO · May 8, 2009, 06:44 PM

I don't know why you have so much time on your hands... is it because you take care of your son at night? If so, maybe you could take up a hobby at night, like reading, or sewing, or giving advice on Ask Me.com... lol... do things for your parents at night, clean the house, etc... or just talk to them... get involved in something WITH them... just a thought...

Survivor07 · May 8, 2009, 06:59 PM

Your two years of hell include your pregnancy and your son, right?

You wouldn't want him to know you thought this!

Well, pregnancy is no picnic, I know, and neither is going to school and raising a child and living with parents.

You sound bored with the way your life is. It won't always be this way. You will be employed eventually and get a place of your own. Am I on the right track or way off base?

You need something in your life, something you enjoy to help rid your mind of this boy who, if in the picture, would not make you happy either.

nicolerocks711 · May 8, 2009, 07:12 PM

Yea you are pretty right on everything

nicolerocks711 · May 8, 2009, 07:16 PM

And yea I have zero excitement lol