[madcat69z]

Ok, let me start from the beginning. In 2005 I started seeing this guy and he was crazy about me. He told me he wanted to get married and have kids with me about 2 months into the relationship. He said one day that he was going to get me pregnant, I told him no because I was only 20 and I wasn't ready. We were using the pull and pray method of birth control and it was working fine. Well one night he says he just forgot to pull out but I think that he did it on purpose. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and I was so upset because I thought my life was over. Anyway he did the right thing and we moved in together and 9 months later we had a beautiful baby boy. During the pregnancy I gained 100 pounds and I began to notice that we weren't having sex anymore. I asked for a year if it was because of my weight and he just keep saying no and then one day I finally got it out of him that he wasn't attracted to me anymore. It really hurt my feeling so I became depressed, I know I should have got off my butt and did something about it but I just sit here feeling sorry for myself. I have lost 50 pounds since then but I'm still not back to the size I was before I got pregnant. So about a month ago he told me that he was tired of it and he didn't see our relationship going anywhere. I begged him not to leave, we could still make this family work but he didn't want any part of it. He came over one day to see his son and he said he thought about it and he was willing to try but I needed to get my life on track, lose weight, get a job, and start to feel better about myself. I found out from some friends that he is already talking to 2 other girls so I called him and asked him . He said that he loves me but he isn't in love with me anymore and he hasn't been for a long time. He said it started he just wasn't attracted to me anymore and he thought that he could deal with it but then he began to realize that we were to different people. The past 2 year it was just like we were room mates, we only had sex once. I am so confused about this, part of me wants to make it work because we have a family together and I really want it to work. I do love him but I think if we didn't have a kid together I wouldn't even care that he was gone. I guess what I am asking is how you guys feel about this, should I try to save this even though he doesn't seem like he wants to or should I just move on?:confused:

[UnluckyDucky]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It must have been a pretty rough for you to go through all that.

Unfortunately, one thing you need to remember here is that it takes two to make a relationship work. Any attempt at you trying to save it would ultimately fail and be a waste of effort as he's obviously made his mind up and has already moved on. If you have not made arrangements for child support I would do so as soon as possible as I believe he does have a legal obligation to you.

Stay civil as you much as you can, but you need to move on from this.

[liz28]

First, when you was two months into this reationship and he express to you thathe wanted a baby but you didn't, why didn't you start using condoms instead of the pull out method? He came inside of you on purpose. At this time you bearly knew this person to enough to even start a family with.

Now he being cold toward you and your accepting it why? Why be with someone that doesn't want to be with you and in return it is only making you depressed? Do you want your son to see this happen to you and grow up in a unhappy household? Kids are smart and can pick up on these things.

You can't made someone want to be with you nor stay with you and if you have to why even do it. Love should come natural not force.

You need to have better some esteem and worth and leave this guy alone. No matter if the two of you are togther or not he should still be a father to his son and if not that have courts that will at least make him pay child support.

Do what is best for you and your child and leave this guy alone and give him a piece of your mind when you do. If you need counseling seek it and nowadays they have many single parent support groups out there if your scare of being a single parent but know many females have been doing this for years and survive. You need a stronger backbne and never allow a guy to treat you this way.