[Wondergirl]

Oh for Pete's sake. Get a grip.

[br_hjs]

You're too emo with this. Just enjoy life and him and the others and have fun and be a kid. Before long you will be an adult and then the troubles will start--and you will wish you were 16 again. Yeah, I know. You don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah I do.. every year I want to go back to the year before. Like now I always think back to this time last year and this time last year I would think of that time the year before. I was just thinking today how its weird that you just kind of get a certain feeling about different times in your life or different years... I guess they are just so different. You talk to different people, act different, look different, have different stuff, do different stuff, etc. I took a nap today and I woke up thinking it was last year pretty much. Then I realized, other than the fact I can't talk to him when I want, my brothers here now, my rat died, I have a car, internet, and an iPod now. I also look A lot better. Nothing else has changed. It feels like its still back then. But its not. I feel like this whole last year didn't happen. Like its still then but its not... its so hard to explain.

[br_hjs]

But I do know that right now I kind of don't want to go back to last year.. yeah I liked being able to talk to him when I want but then I'd just go through alll this again... and I'm looking forward to like a few months or so.. I should be able to see him now. It seems like he's not trying to see me though.. he's rushing me to get my license... why can't he get his? He's almost 18.

[Clough]

Anybody want to know about the couple of homework assignments that I was given here last week?

[br_hjs]

Sure, clough.

[Clough]

I didn't get them done yet! Sorry... :o

[br_hjs]

I think I'm going to go soon though... maybe now.
I forgot to type one of them but I don't remember what it was. It was either g2g(got to go) or ppl(people) maybe wb(write back)... did I say all those? I don't know theirs a lot.


And wondergirl... what do you think about my situation? I seen your offline, and I'm about to go tooo but I will tell you more tomrrow how things go. Thankfully the teachers only making him set by that other girl for 2 days. And today was 1. But I just don't think I can trust him now.

[Clough]

I think I'm going to go soon though... maybe now.

That would be a good idea for your health and well-being!

I forgot to type one of them but I don't remember what it was. It was either g2g(got to go) or ppl(people) maybe wb(write back)... did I say all those? I don't know theirs a lot.

Thanks for the answers!

Later...

[Clough]

I think that you need to set your sights on other things in your life, Michelle. There's much more to life than concentrating on relationships at your age. You have your whole life ahead of you. Right now is the time to set up and train yourself for how you are going to be. It might be better to concentrate on you and what you can do. Relationships with boyfriends at your age can be on agan, off again in a flash! Both you and your boyfriend are going to be going through tremendous changes and decisions that you are going to make in the next several years.

Just some additional food for thought.

Later...

[br_hjs]

So I kind of sort of broke up with him today but then an hour later everything seemed back to normal. He kept talking to that girl and I saw her laughing every time he would say something. Its him, her and his friend that sit in that group and she asked the teacher to never put her in a group with them again because my boyfriend kept disagreeing w/ everything she said and the other person kept making her feel bad about herself. But I can tell he's joking about stuff by the way he talks to her. He kept lying to her too. I heard them talking and she said something about him calling her a name and then he said he didn't and she called him a liar because he did.
But I told him "its over" and he just said "okay, i'm not going through all this with you ever again" and then I walked into class and he walked away really fast. Then after that class I told him "i'm not mad that you talked to her but its the fact that you said you dont trust me and you dont want me talking to other people and you wouldnt do it but then you turn around and do it anyways." then he said "fine go ahead i dont care" (is their a thing for I don't care? Like idc? If not there is now). Then he said ''i don't know what your so pissed off about" and I said that again about how he told me not to do that and then he did. And that was when we were walking to class and we didn't have time to say anymore. Then after that class everything seemed back to normal I guess

[grammadidi]

I have told you before, guys like girls who are fun and happy. If you are always beetching (won't let me spell it any other way), jumping on him for stuff, not trusting him, complaining, breaking up with him, getting upset, etc. then you will push him away. If you always walk around like a zombie because you are tired, you will not attract anyone of worth, and will cause those who like you already to back off. Guys don't want problems. Smile a lot, laugh a lot, talk to everyone in a kind way, sleep properly, eat properly, study, do your homework, make friends. It will drive him CRAZY!! He will be afraid of losing you instead of you obsessing all the time. It's time you start acting like a woman instead of a 4 year old pining over a lost stuffed animal. You need to either end it forever and see other guys or decide to trust him. You need to start treating him with respect if you want him to respect you. If I were him, I would be afraid of you. It's like everything this guy says or does (or doesn't say or do) you obsess over and bring more meaning into it. Let me tell you this... it's okay for both of you to talk to other people, both male and female. It's okay for both of you to have fun without the other one. It's okay for you to be happy! Try it!! You may be pleasantly surprised.

Hugs, Didi

[Wondergirl]

Now, if only Michelle would print out what you just said, Didi, and post it on her mirror (and read it at least twice a day). In fact, that should get the prize for 2007.

[friend4u178]

Michelle
Read what Didi has written above and then read it again and again , and then put it into action. Believe me it will make a huge difference.

[br_hjs]

I have told you before, guys like girls who are fun and happy. If you are always beetching (won't let me spell it any other way), jumping on him for stuff, not trusting him, complaining, breaking up with him, getting upset, etc. then you will push him away. If you always walk around like a zombie because you are tired, you will not attract anyone of worth, and will cause those who like you already to back off. Guys don't want problems. Smile a lot, laugh a lot, talk to everyone in a kind way, sleep properly, eat properly, study, do your homework, make friends. It will drive him CRAZY!!!!!! He will be afraid of losing you instead of you obsessing all the time. It's time you start acting like a woman instead of a 4 year old pining over a lost stuffed animal. You need to either end it forever and see other guys or decide to trust him. You need to start treating him with respect if you want him to respect you. If I were him, I would be afraid of you. It's like everything this guy says or does (or doesn't say or do) you obsess over and bring more meaning into it. Let me tell you this... it's okay for both of you to talk to other people, both male and female. It's okay for both of you to have fun without the other one. It's okay for you to be happy!! Try it!!! You may be pleasantly surprised.

Hugs, Didi

He gives me reasons to not trust him... this is only the 2nd time in 2 years I ever thought about breaking up with him and the 1st time was more of a joke. We both for joking around about stuff and both knew it was a joke. So this is the 1st real time I ever thought about and even now I don't want to... he's the 1 who always wanted to break up w/ me but that changed. Today when he daïs "i'm not going through all this with you again" that pretty much explained to me that he got tired of always being mad at me before and going through all that when he knows we still end up talking which is why he doesn't bother because he knows he wants to stay with me anyway. Does that make sense? To me it does.

Maybe you don't know this but I have problems sleeping... when I can sleep I forget to eat. Sorry but I am so tired of hearing it. Nothing is going to change how I eat or sleep. People in my school are not anything like anyone I would want to talk to. Want to know why? I live in the "ghetto" and go to school out in the "country" where every one is different than around here. One little incident in that town happened in probably the past 10 years... about a month ago a girl shot her boyfriend and then herself. She died and he had 4 bullets in the head and was in the hospital last I heard... in my town.. in the past 5 years... 1 guy was shot on my block, 1 kid down the street died of a drug overdose, 1 person got shot in front of my aunts house, then down the street near my other aunts house, a person got stabbed to death at a wal-greens near my house. My neighbor went to jail for running a guy over on purpose.. this same guy was always breaking into our cars and trying to steal them and threw a brick through one of my neighbors window.
I'm not to proud of where I live... but it does make me not fit in over there. THe people are a lot different than what I am used to because it's a whole other town. There are not even 300 students in the high school... where I live there are like over 1,000. I think I heard one time their was like 3,000. People at my school act and even look like they are 10 instead of 16 or w/e. Most of them are like those really preppy or w/e you call them people that are all into sports... and I hate how they join the sports but they are so glad when they cancel a game... why do they join the sport then? Its stupid.
This is my 3rd year now at this school and my boyfriend is the only one in the whole school who's house I have been to or has been to my house.
The last person I tried to be friends with was before I talked to him, this girl kept saying that my boyfriend keeps using me and all this stuff to keep me from talking to him... I never really liked her to begin with and I was only talking to her to be nice... but everyone at my school has like the same personality except for him and his friends.

[br_hjs]

I messed up that last part. What I meant was I tried to be friends w/ her and I was starting 2 talk to him and she kept telling me all this stuf so I wouldn't

[br_hjs]

Now what was my answer for him finding others attractive? I don't know if he does or not I don't remember... It was possible that he doesn't right? But more than likely t at was a lie too because he always lies

[br_hjs]

Yeha now your all scared of me too. Just because a lot of people get shot where I'm from doesn't mean that I'm going to shoot nayone or anything... Geeze why does everyone act this way towards me? :(

[grammadidi]

You are missing the point! You must either decide to trust him or end it forever. Placing the trust in his hands will either make it or break it. Regardless, for your own sanity, you MUST make a choice!

As for your sleeping problems - you have sleeping problems because you spend HOURS worrying about stuff you have no control over! In addition, you have very bad habits. You will always have bad eating and sleeping habits if you don't force yourself to maintain a 'normal' routine for a minimum of one month - preferably 3 months. You must not allow yourself to nap AT ALL! You must eat 3 regular meals a day, even if they are small ones, and you must eat healthy food. You must drink water to replenish your body fluids. You must go to bed every night at the same time and get up every morning at the same time. If you can't sleep, so what? Lay in bed, read a textbook or your school notes if you absolutely must do something - but do NOT watch TV, listen to music, turn on the computer or get out of bed! Gradually your body will adapt.

You know, you are a very judgemental person. You judge everyone in your school, forgetting that YOU are one of those people! I bet there are more like you. The thing is, it's not up to you to judge. It IS up to you to smile at people and be friendly. I'm not saying you should become soul sisters with anyone - just be nice! Accept people the way they are.

I have lived in the city and the country. My adopted daughter went to one of the best schools in our area when we lived in the city, from Kindergarten to Grade 7. We then moved to the country. She felt the same way that you do. However, the problems turned out to be hers, not theirs. In Grade 8 she distanced herself from the others, preferring the company of two boys that people didn't accept very well. In Grade 9 she had no friends at all. Recently, she started a new job and one of the girls who 'hated' her worked at the same place. She had to learn to get along with her, so she decided to talk it out with her and ask her to put aside her dislike so they could work together. Imagine her surprise when she learned that the reason that the kids seemed to 'hate' her was because of the way she acted towards them! In fact, she learned that many of the girls really wanted to be her friend but found her to be withdrawn, rude and unapproachable. She has now made a new friend.

Maybe you aren't proud of where you live, and maybe people will judge you for it. It just doesn't matter! You are there to get an education so you can get the heck out of there! Concentrate on that! Learn and grow. As I said before, you don't have to be best buds with anyone - but you should be nice to everyone no matter how they are.

You say this other girl said your boyfriend was using you. Personally, I think she was probably trying very hard to help you. Sometimes outsiders can see situations that you can't. It doesn't matter what she said, though, because the fact is, you make up your mind what you will and won't do. You have spent 2 years worrying about whether this guy really cares, whether he is using you, etc.

Michelle - get on with LIVING!! Find things in your life that will make you happy! If there aren't things to make you happy, then create them yourself! You will meet many obstacles to happiness in your lifetime. Life is what you make it, and don't you EVER forget that! If you want to be happy, make yourself happy! You are the only person responsible for your feelings. If you are bored, it's because you are boring. If you are sad, it's because you are neglecting yourself. If you are angry it's because you aren't dealing with your problems.

Again, I say to you that you need to realize that you are a woman now. It's about time that you started acting like one. When I was 16 I had a baby and an abusive husband who wouldn't hold a job. When I was 17 I had two babies and an abusive husband who wouldn't hold a job. He wanted 9 babies and I had 2 in 10 months. I had to take control of my own life! So I raised those two children on my own. I worked 3 and 4 jobs, went to school full time for 3 years, and I made choices that would affect three people's lives forever. I had to grow up fast. You have time, so why not start the process now? If you don't you will be in exactly the same situation that I was in one day.

Think about the things that people are constantly telling you. I have seen you give advice to others here. You KNOW we are right. Are you afraid of failure? If so, all I can say is that there are many people here willing to help you through it. You are a very lucky girl... take advantage of it.

Hugs, Didi

[br_hjs]

She said he was using me to get me to quit talking to him because she's obsessed w/ every guy and she knows I talked about her to her friends.
I know I'm at school for education and not friends which is why I don't care about having them and I don't need them they are a WASTE OF TIME

[br_hjs]

And instead of seeking advice... I'll go back to dealing with it myself.. I was so much happier when I did and didn't worry about as much.