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Kitkat22 · Feb 23, 2010, 04:48 PM

There is a great big world out there and the right woman is in it.

amicon · Feb 24, 2010, 02:07 AM

If you want to end the confusion and continue moving on,as I think you should-proper no contact will do the trick.

Any communication is bound to confuse you and set you back.

racquel58 · Feb 24, 2010, 02:54 AM

Definitely think that no contact is the best option.

HOWEVER I don't agree with everyone else that says she is not interested. Having been in that situation myself I felt I was too depressed and anxious and had to deal with my fear of being alone BEFORE I entered or got serious with yet ANOTHER guy (no matter how lovely he was... problem was... the guy wasn't lovely afterall). I ended up going straight to be with him and bouncing from him to another ex and my issue of being alone is STILL NOT resolved. Now this has been going on for 5 years for me. Now I am too scared to break it off with someone I know deep down is not good for me.

I mean, its possible she was using excuses, but its also possible she really does need to be alone and that she is telling the truth. Also, we are generally attracted to what we are 'comfortable' with. Even if that's bad. You said she was with guys that treated her bad, so maybe you treating her good made her uncomfortable.

Anyway, I would say No contact. I don't think she sounds like she is trying to lead you on. I think she is just a mentall ill girl who knows what she needs (to be single and sort out her issues) but is finding it hard.

Good luck though. You have to look after yourself!

mgoblue · Feb 24, 2010, 01:22 PM

Thanks again everyone. I am definitely taking advice from this thread.

And racquel, yes, I really think she is telling the truth, thanks for your input!

Kitkat22 · Feb 24, 2010, 02:10 PM

Good for you!

0rphan · Feb 24, 2010, 02:39 PM

Hi mgoblue

I know the majority on this board are saying walk away,and yes they might very well be right.

You can chew the whole situation over, again and again,each time coming up with a different conclusion.

I think that she just wants some space to sort her head out,like most of us do sometimes.

I personally would give her the benefit of the doubt,give her the space she needs for how ever long it takes.

In the mean time go out do your own thing, enjoy your life, should the time come when she feels more able to cope with life, then I'm sure she'll contact you.

mgoblue · Feb 24, 2010, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by 0rphan

Hi mgoblue

I know the majority on this board are saying walk away,and yes they might very well be right.

You can chew the whole situation over, again and again,each time coming up with a different conclusion.

I think that she just wants some space to sort her head out,like most of us do sometimes.

I personally would give her the benefit of the doubt,give her the space she needs for how ever long it takes.

In the mean time go out do your own thing, enjoy your life, should the time come when she feels more able to cope with life, then i'm sure she'll contact you.

Thanks a lot. Yeah I am on that path. I really feel like what you think is going to happen will.

Thanks for your input I really appreciate it!

Kitkat22 · Feb 24, 2010, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by mgoblue

Thanks alot. Yeah I am on that path. I really feel like what you think is going to happen will.

Thanks for your input I really appreciate it!

You have the strength to get out of this for your own good and your self-respect. It's hard letting go but sometime in the future you will look back and see it was for the best. That sounds patronizing but that isn't how I mean it.

When was the last time you thought of yourself? When was the last time you went somewhere you enjoyed and it didn't involve her? You don't need to be sad and stressed out all the time? Sorry I can't tell you what you want to hear, just what I think fits your situation. Good Luck:)

Kitkat22 · Feb 24, 2010, 09:17 PM

You'll do great! I know you will.

racquel58 · Feb 24, 2010, 09:56 PM

I agree with Kitkat, you do need to think of yourself. Like I said before she may definitely just need space and time. THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU HOLD ON! You need to think of yourself, love yourself and then... if things happen further down the track you can deal with it then. But PLEASE don't hold on! Work on YOU!

You sound like a lovely person! You will have no problem eventually with finding someone to love and respect you. But make sure you love and respect yourself first!

You can do it!

mgoblue · Feb 24, 2010, 10:13 PM

Yeah I agree. I have been spending a lot of time with friends and doing other things I have done before we started dating. It is definitely helping.

I'm starting to begin the process of moving on, I know it will take a while but I'm trying my best. I know I can do it too.

Kitkat22 · Feb 24, 2010, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by mgoblue

Yeah I agree. I have been spending a lot of time with friends and doing other things I have done before we started dating. It is definitely helping.

I'm starting to begin the process of moving on, I know it will take a while but I'm trying my best. I know I can do it too.

Friends are a wonderful gift. I hope you feel better about everything. Blessings