Threads merged, please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

After 3 month of dating me and my girlfriend just broke up last night. We've known each other for about 5 - 6 months total. A few basics. We were inseparable for the 1st month and a half, for the past month and a half things have got towards a normal relationship. We are both at college and talk to each other everyday over the phone and see each other maybe once a day for about an hour on average for the past month.

She just got diagnosed with mild depression. And it is because of past relationships her ex's treated her horribly. She has said many times she doesn't deserve me. Which I tell her yes you do right back.

She said she can't be in a relationship right now with her state of mind she's in and has been in. Before me she hadn't been single since she was 15 and she almost 20 now. Straight from guy #1, to #2 then to me.

Anyway, she said its because of past relationships and her past feelings and she needs to be single and alone to move on to future relationships. She tells me to move on and please not wait around for her, I deserve SO much better than her.

She says its nothing I did she wishes she could give herself to me but she cant. She's not emotionally stable. And that's she is screwed up.

I already told her I'm always going to be there for her and I still love her and would wait around for her until she is better.

What do I do?

By the way, sorry for the novel. I appreciate any help or advice!

Harshness warning

All that she listed are just excuses to break up with you. Actions speak louder than words. The bottom line is that she doesn't want to continue a relationship with you. She told you to move on.

In healthy relationships, you lean on each other for strength, you don't push each other away. Seems pretty clear that she no longer feels the same way about you. If anything, you were her rebound; thus, the amazing first month and half. Now she's done with the rebound.

It's time to accept her actions. Her actions tell us that she doesn't want a relationship anymore.

She isn't interested. Don't wait around for her. Girls that jump from guy to guy are pretty much bad news... It would've done you some good to recognize this in the beginning. She has issues and needs to sort them out on her own... She does not need you standing over her, or "waiting for her" she is moving on with her life, move on with yours.

You don't wait around for someone to change their mind. NEVER. Do as she says, and move on. It may be years before she is ready for a relationship, and she may well choose to be with someone else.

I appreciate the advice guys...

She has depression and an eating disorder too she's told me. For the past few days since the break up I have talked to her sparingly through text messages, and just been there as a "friend" and for support.

She says she needs to be single and alone for now so she can be happy with herself and get better before she can give herself to a guy. She keeps letting me know to move on because I don't deserve to wait around for her, she doesn't want to lose me but she needs to get better from all her personal problems.

Also she stares me in the eye and says she can do this because she knows that we will end up together in the end one way or another and that she truly feels we are meant to be together, and I honestly do too we just mesh and bond so well its just she needs to figure out her problems alone.

And yes I know girls that jump around are bad news but she had 2 boyfriends over a 4 year period so that didn't seem too bad to me especially when she was under 20 years old... I don't know

Appreciate any more help or advice but I see that I should really move on...

Threads merged

We had been broken up for a week, she dumped me, then she decided on no contact, on the Thursday evening.

On Sunday afternoon, Valentine's Day, she sends me a text "Hey I know we aren't talking, but I just wanted to say Happy Valentine's Day"

Why did she do this?

Most likely to string you along and play with your emotions.
She is trying to control you. Don't let her.

Ignore the text and don't overanalyze her actions.
Stick to NC.

Just to keep you hanging on.

It's obvious that you love her, but you can't do anything to change the situation. Accept reality - She broke up with you!

You need to go NC and move on. Don't respond to any e-mails, texts or phone calls, as any communication you get from her just makes you feel hopeful in a hopeless situation.
_______________________

A break up is like a broken mirror.
It is better to leave it broken
than hurt yourself trying to fix it.

Love hurts some times but we all have been there!

Yeah I unfortunately respond after an hour happy valentines day back. She responded with I'm sorry for everything and she asked if I was okay. I just said I'm good don't worry about me and that's it she hasn't texted back since.. . Why is she trying to keep me hanging on? She was the one who decided on NC and then she was the one who broke it 3 days later. I really appreciate the help guys!

Lets be real guy, YOU responded to her, so YOU broke NC. And the questions come rolling back.

Own your actions, learn from them, and start again, but do better this time.

Does she basically just want to move on and get better but still have me there for when she is ready to date again?

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She tells me to move on and please not wait around for her, I deserve SO much better than her.

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I seriously doubt it. So should you.

Talaniman Rule-When its over disappear, and don't worry about the rest.

When she is ready to date it will be with some one else. Just my opinion.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I seriously doubt it. So should you.

Talaniman Rule-When its over disappear, and don't worry about the rest.

When she is ready to date it will be with some one else. Just my opinion.

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That's fair I agree it very well could be. How long should we go with NC in your opinion?

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She said she can't be in a relationship right now with her state of mind she's in and has been in. Before me she hadn't been single since she was 15 and she almost 20 now. Straight from guy #1, to #2 then to me.

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Start with forever, and see what happens.

But in my heart I feel like we will end up together again somewhere down the road, I mean we are only 20. But yes I really am starting to move on now even after just 3 days of NC. It's amazing how well it works lol.

I think she just wants to keep you around in case she needs a stand by. Sorry

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Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I think she just wants to keep you around in case she needs a stand by. Sorry

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It's fine honestly. I'd like honest opinions over BS just to make me feel better. Yeah I don't know this is definitely a difficult learning experience to say the least.