[colbtech]

Hmm having read a couple of the other posts. Maybe humour was the wrong thing to inject. Soz all! (oh well both feet in it again!)

[N0help4u]

I swear the nice guys are all already married or in a relationship.
The nice guys that are left get on your nerves. Like they are clingy, obsessive, annoying perfectionists or something about their character that is just aggravating.
You have to look for a nice balance of fun, great personality and treats you decent.

[plonak]

I totally agree with the above post, the "nice guy" is great when he balances himself.. they DO get needy and obsessive if they aren't balanced...

I think a healthy woman would like a "nice guy" to be nice to her and treat her right, but also want him to have confidence and protect her, like starlite said.. it's all about balance.. us women crave for a man to be a man, that's just in our blood... that's how God made men, that's how they're soposed to be!

[NeedKarma]

us women crave for a man to be a man, that's just in our blood... that's how God made men, that's how they're soposed to be!

So how is a woman supposed to be?

[gg23]

Confused and full of bs? MAYBE?

[plonak]

Not helpful GG you're never going to find a girl if you think that

[plonak]

How do you expect women to be NeedKarma? And believe me, I know your issues with people who believe in God, I don't want to get in a heated argument about that

[NeedKarma]

How do you expect women to be NeedKarma? and believe me, i know your issues with people who believe in God, I don't want to get in a heated arguement about that

a) I don't have issues with people who believe in god, I have issues with fanatics of anything that condemn others.
b) women are individuals, just like men, that's my view.

But if you have an all-encompassing view how men should be then I assumed that you also had a view of how women should be, it would only be fair, no?

[N0help4u]

I like pampering a guy but they always end up taking me for granted and thinking I am
Weak or something. So I guess how a guy treats you can have a bit to do with how you treat them but being the nice girl can backfire on you because they mistake your devotion as meaning they can walk all over you.

[plonak]

I personally like a man to be masculine, and I'm sure men like women to be feminine.. that's what I meant, that women and men were made with those characteristics..

So that's my opionion, I like manly men..

[sokay]

So I think from my (admittedly somewhat limited) dating experience, I've come to the following conclusion:

If there is such a thing as an all-around "nice guy" he's rare.

What's a lot more common are guys who are pretty obviously jerks, or else guys who most people /think/ are nice b/c they're nice to their female friends and maybe their girlfriends, but they still manage to screw over other women in ways that no one besides those women are really aware of.

Thoughts?

Such a good point. My ex boyfriend would probably fall under that category. He was always shmoozing salesgirls, shmoozing waitresses, doing extra favors, and even bringing gifts for other women he wasn't even dating. Mostly the gifts were before dating me, but still he bragged to me about it. Yes, he thought he was a really 'nice guy'. And I'm sure a bunch of strangers and platonic friends of his think so too. But I felt I should have been more special than a bunch of other random women.

[sokay]

Thank you starlite! Sometimes people make you feel like you're alone in this way of thinking. Because of course your boyfriend, is acting like such a nice guy to every female on the planet, so they don't see what the problem is! And the boyfriend, he gets plenty of praise and approval from these people so he doesn't care what your feelings are.

BTW, this is why I have an issue with the statement that 'If you want to judge a potential mate, see how he treats service staff." It's just not that simple, and not that 'black and white".

I mean, sure, OBVIOUSLY, if they're unnecessarily MEAN to them, then that's a problem; but if they're unnecessarily NICE, that could be a problem, too!

[N0help4u]

Yes, he thought he was a really 'nice guy'. And I'm sure a bunch of strangers and platonic friends of his think so too. But I felt I should have been more special than a bunch of other random women.

Yeah that is something how they HAVE to have their friends and acquaintances approval as all around Mr. Nice Guy but could care less that you have to call them a jerk because that is all the better they treat you. Been there, dealt with it!

[sokay]

I hear you nohelp!

[talaniman]

There is no such thing as a nice guy, females invented that term to get there boyfriends to comply with there wishes.

[bigbird213]

There is no such thing as a nice guy, females invented that term to get there boyfriends to comply with there wishes.

Guilt Trip?

[N0help4u]

I use sweetheart for the complying
I say nice for unexpected things they do
:D

[Synnen]

I think the "nice guy" idea is crap.

EVERY guy that's ever dumped you or a friend unfairly (at least to YOUR mind) is a jerk, regardless his reasons for doing it.

I think that every PERSON out there is a mix of selfish and giving--if you fall too far on EITHER side of a balance of that, you're either going to be a jerk or TOO nice (which means you're a pushover and boring or whatever).

There are plenty of great guys out there--but not all of them are "nice". I think too many girls have visions of Prince Charming living inside every guy and it just needs the right woman to draw that out of a guy. Guess what? No guy is perfect!

Want to know how you can tell if a guy is nice "enough" to date long term? See how he treats his mother. You can tell a LOT from how a guy treats the woman who raised him.

[plonak]

That's like what I was saying it's all about the balance... guys really need to hear that! It's the secret to what women want!!

[NeedKarma]

that's like what i was saying it's all about the balance... guys really need to hear that!! it's the secret to what women want!!!!!

Sadly most of the time woman don't know what they want themselves.