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Junior Member
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Aug 16, 2008, 07:31 PM
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 Originally Posted by wantu
I don't know ?
but if she would have loved me then why she would have hanging with her BF.
Because its her boyfriend.
I'm sure she loves you
But only as a friend
Everyone goes through that little
"i think i like my friend." point,
And for some it works, but for most,
It doesn't. Let it go.
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Junior Member
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Aug 16, 2008, 08:37 PM
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I think you made a mistake by telling her that you loved her. Not that it was a bad thing at all but something like this may complicate your friendship and I don't think you want that. Now that she knows how you feel about her could cause her to distance herself from you. I know because the same thing happened to me with a guy friend of mine and after he told me his feelings for me...I backed away because I am already in a relationship and love someone else. I still like him as a friend but knowing how he feels makes it really hard to go back to that friendship we had before he told me.
A good way in erasing a mistake is communicate to her that you in no way want to come between her and her bf and that you may have expressed your feelings a bit to soon and don't want to ruin the friendship you both created. Still engage with her as you always have with no pressure coming from your feelings.
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Full Member
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Aug 16, 2008, 09:35 PM
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I can't decide if I think it was a mistake to tell her your feelings or not, but it really doesn't matter because you already have and that is done. Look at it this way, now she knows, no more having to keep it all pent up inside right - just ready to burst out of you! So... it isn't going to work between the two of you, she has a boyfriend, but you can do your best to remain friends, let your know you didn't mean to make things weird, just wanted to be upfront and honest with her (deep inside she will respect that). Go on from there, you will find love for yourself - in time! : )
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Expert
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Aug 17, 2008, 08:51 PM
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You aren't the only one to ever have love for a friend, and want more. Accept it ain't happening, and leave it alone.
You took your best shot, it didn't work, so back down from it, and just be a friend.
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New Member
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Aug 19, 2008, 11:56 AM
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Thank you all...
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New Member
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Sep 2, 2008, 01:32 PM
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Its not so Confusing !
My earlier questions are linked with the current one. So, Please go through the all previous questions and you will get the situation clear.
1. I like a girl who works with me.This girl is in relation with another guy for 1 and half years.This girl also likes me and we are friends.I know that the guy with which she has got a relation is not a good guy and exploits her time to time.But she loves him.Not only i but lot of my collouges say the similer things about this guy.No one speaks good about him.
I told her to leave him.But she told me that she cannot leave him because his dad expired last year and if she leaves im then he will break emotionally.
She told me not to expect anything more rather than freindship.I told her once that I like her and to leave him.
I like her very much and want to marry her.
She knows about this and also likes me.We share many things among us.I haven't tried to kiss her yes but i have hold her hands manytimes and she never told me not to hold.
I am confused with many suggestions coming from my freinds and want to really close this one.
How can I understand what the girl is exactly feeling.I have told her time and again that I care for her and want to be with her. Please anyone suggest !
2. There’s new development.
One of my friends was coming to office with this girl I like. They were having normal talks and he was discussing with this girl about what once I suggested to him that (he (my friend) likes a different girl and there is a situation and I told him to not get over excited and just to watch the situation and act accordingly.
You will not believe the girl told my friend that how come he could say something like this when he himself is over excited.
Please Suggest. Should I avoid this girl for some while.
This one is in connection with my frist Question ?
3. While I have made someone priority in my life now how to deal with the situetion and just be like freinds again.
Avoiding cannot be a solution what I think !
I like this girl like anything and wanted this girl in my life.
I can do anything to get her in my life and she knows that.
I don't want to be stubborn but i think I love her.
I cannot think of anything else apart from her.When she comes I find the sunny weather after the dark cloudy sky.
She is one I find like a flower.I don't know how I am going to think life without her.
Its going to be interesting now in my life.
4. difficult situation
I have got a difficult situation here. I love a girl and we work together. But she loves some other guy who previously used to work in the same company but now he is working some other place. I as well as she also knows that he was not serious about the relationship however as she loves him very much that is the reason she can't think any other else.
I share a friendly relation with this girl and I have told her that how much I love her. But she has repeatedly told me to not to expect more than friendship.
Recently her boyfriend is having affair with a girl who works with him in the other workplace. So, she wants some help from me.
I told her to stop this and put an end to this relationship. I explained her that how important she is to the others. This girl likes me that I came to know from one of my friend. She recently told me that she needs time to get out of that relationship.
I want suggestions how to handle the situation better.
4. I have already explained my relation with this girl in earlier questions that I have asked in this same website.
I understand that this girl is my friend but whenever I tell her to leave her boyfriend she tells me that she cannot because she loves her too much and other reasons like his dad expired last year if she leaves her then he will breakdown and many other reasons.
What I think is that she doesn’t love him but just attached with him due to some attachments. Whenever I ignore her she feels little bit
Angry and puzzled.
. When she cannot make something’s that she wants she always talks to her boyfriend very loud (on the phone) as if like I will feel jealous and angry.
If I feel bad about it then she laughs and feels very happy. When I feel unhappy she expresses her concern.
She asks for many helps and we share many small secrets among us.
But whenever I tell her to leave him she gives me excuses like “you don’t know how hard it is to leave someone when you are in love “
“u will never understand”
and many more.
I don’t understand what actually is happening.
If she doesn’t feel the same way why she is reacting like this and if she feels the same way why she is avoiding accepting that.
Do girls take time to accept if they love someone?
Please analyze and suggest me.
6. started avoiding
Hi
I started avoiding this girl (I have mentioned already in my earlier questions)as she is involved with her boyfriend.
I got suggestions that I should not tell her to leave him or should not bother about her relationship.
So, i started avoiding her.I was closely involved in her activities but now i reduced everything and started to keep distance with a smiling face.
But now I notice that she gets irritated,angry and sometimes disturbed.I don't know why.
I had a talk with her regarding this and she told me that she wants me as her friend.I told her that I am her best frienddddddddddd.
She doesn't want to leave her as well she doesn't want to leave me as well
please \suggest me.
7. love this girl who is my best friend and we share every small things.She tells me about her boyfriend every small details about their relationship and some things that her boyfriend also sometimes doesn't know.
We had good times,we work together and laugh,throw jokes and really like each other.When she is not there I miss her too much and same with her.She misses me when I am not there.
She knows that I love her and she is excited about that.
But recently she told me that it was a mistake that I did by coming between their relation.
Simply I don't understand !
8. Can anyone tell me?
Can anyone tell me how do I make someone aware that I Love her?
I possible let me know how do I know whether she loves me or not?
Also let me know what are the procedures to make someone aware that I am special one for her?
Now I have started avoiding her and also talk less I see her tensed and puzzled but I can’t help that because I have to come out of this.
Anyone wants to add anything can share.
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Expert
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Sep 2, 2008, 01:56 PM
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Well first this is not a blog, so it is not really easy for everyone to just "review" your other questions before answering this one.
In fact it is best not to start a new thread, but to add this to a past question as a follow-up answer so others can then add more to that thread. Most people will not even try to look at previous posts and it will result in less than better answers or some will just not even answer
With that said, you have some serious, serious issues, you love a girl and want to marry someone you have never dated and is with someone else. OK, we are getting to the point that you may even want to change jobs and get away from this situation, since it is not even close to healthy.
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Expert
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Sep 2, 2008, 01:58 PM
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You have made this way to complicated. Leave her alone, and do something else with your time. This will allow you to learn to deal with your feelings, and not waste your time over someone who doesn't share your feeling, and has no wish to.
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Full Member
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Sep 2, 2008, 06:13 PM
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You are obsessed with her and not in a good way. She is not available and you are making rationalizations about her motivations in her relationship.
If you want to handle this better, if you really care for her, leave her alone.
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