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-   -   Confused in relationship/freindship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=228208)

  • Jun 18, 2008, 11:57 AM
    wantu
    Confused in relationship/freindship
    I like a girl who works with me.This girl is in relation with another guy for 1 and half years.This girl also likes me and we are friends.I know that the guy with which she has got a relation is not a good guy and exploits her time to time.But she loves him.Not only I but lot of my collouges say the similer things about this guy.No one speaks good about him.
    I told her to leave him.But she told me that she cannot leave him because his dad expired last year and if she leaves I'm then he will break emotionally.

    She told me not to expect anything more rather than freindship.I told her once that I like her and to leave him.

    I like her very much and want to marry her.

    She knows about this and also likes me.We share many things among us.I haven't tried to kiss her yes but I have hold her hands manytimes and she never told me not to hold.

    I am confused with many suggestions coming from my friends and want to really close this one.
    How can I understand what the girl is exactly feeling.I have told her time and again that I care for her and want to be with her. Please anyone suggest !
  • Jun 18, 2008, 12:01 PM
    Kitty1978
    Keep some distance and don't show much interest, she will come to u automatically, that's what I guess :)

    But don't try to destroy somebody else's relation, its just not nice... no matter whse and for what...
  • Jun 18, 2008, 12:03 PM
    andrea_louise
    There is not much you can do, if she won't leave her current boyfriend for you. I think you are wasting your time trying to be with her. Find someone else
  • Jun 18, 2008, 12:19 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Ramp it down a notch. "I like her very much and want to marry her." What's that about? You want to marry a girl you've never even dated.

    Dude, it is one thing to be attracted to a girl and take an interest. It's another thing to start spouting life-long desires, you need to keep your feet on the ground if you want to successfully choose your lifemate. OK?

    So, at this point you only have one moral option - you can express your interest in her and let her know when she's available/free, you'd love to spend some time with her.

    That's it. Nothing more. Her feelings and random advice from others is irrelevant unless/until she's free to pursue them with you. Til then, back off.

    Oh, and if she DOES free up and start dating you, start looking at your job options, too. Working with your girlfriend won't work for long.
  • Jun 20, 2008, 10:16 AM
    wantu
    Confused part 2
    There's new development.
    One of my friends was coming to office with this girl I like. They were having normal talks and he was discussing with this girl about what once I suggested to him that (he (my friend) likes a different girl and there is a situation and I told him to not get over excited and just to watch the situation and act accordingly.

    You will not believe the girl told my friend that how come he could say something like this when he himself is over excited.

    Please Suggest. Should I avoid this girl for some while.

    This one is in connection with my frist Question ?
  • Jun 20, 2008, 10:33 AM
    confused1145
    I don't really understand your situation so all I can say is follow your heart and do what you need to do.
  • Jun 20, 2008, 11:07 AM
    talaniman
    I think your way out of bounds telling her what to do about her love life. Not your business at all, so stop wasting your time with someone who clearly doesn't want what you do. Take the hints she has been giving you.
  • Jun 20, 2008, 11:08 AM
    talaniman
    You really should leave her, and her business, alone.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 06:18 AM
    wantu
    Confused Next
    While I have made someone priority in my life now how to deal with the situetion and just be like friends again.

    Avoiding cannot be a solution what I think !

    I like this girl like anything and wanted this girl in my life.

    I can do anything to get her in my life and she knows that.

    I don't want to be stubborn but I think I love her.

    I cannot think of anything else apart from her.When she comes I find the sunny weather after the dark cloudy sky.


    She is one I find like a flower.I don't know how I am going to think life without her.

    Its going to be interesting now in my life.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 07:09 AM
    talaniman
    That's very romantic and poetic. Is it realistic, given the facts??
  • Jun 21, 2008, 07:25 AM
    wantu
    Yeah that's right but that's what I am feeling right now.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 07:57 AM
    confused1145
    If you feel that strong about her and she feels the same for you than try to make things work.
  • Jun 21, 2008, 10:09 AM
    wantu
    I don't know whether she also feels for me the same way.she tells my friend that I am overexcited about this...

    What do you suggest me ?

    My friend suggested me to avoid her for some days.

    I cannot do that when I see her I tend to smile and cannot stay without speaking with her.

    Please suggest...
  • Jul 21, 2008, 12:27 PM
    wantu
    Difficult situation
    I have got a difficult situation here. I love a girl and we work together. But she loves some other guy who previously used to work in the same company but now he is working some other place. I as well as she also knows that he was not serious about the relationship however as she loves him very much that is the reason she can't think any other else.

    I share a friendly relation with this girl and I have told her that how much I love her. But she has repeatedly told me to not to expect more than friendship.

    Recently her boyfriend is having affair with a girl who works with him in the other workplace. So, she wants some help from me.

    I told her to stop this and put an end to this relationship. I explained her that how important she is to the others. This girl likes me that I came to know from one of my friend. She recently told me that she needs time to get out of that relationship.

    I want suggestions how to handle the situation better.

    Life is too short to think too much.:confused:
  • Jul 21, 2008, 12:51 PM
    Romefalls19
    Don't sit around waiting for this girl, one minute she doesn't like you and then her relationship starts to crumble and she likes you. I smell rebound, sorry buddy
  • Jul 21, 2008, 01:48 PM
    wantu
    Nothing to feel to sorry buddy.
  • Jul 21, 2008, 05:20 PM
    JBeaucaire
    I was with you until the end, then you lost me at "this girl likes me that I came to know..." I'm sorry, is this a WHOLE NEW girl different than the one you were talking about up until then?

    I don't even know what you're actually asking if that's a second girl.
  • Jul 21, 2008, 09:54 PM
    talaniman
    Even if she breaks up, she will not be realistically ready for anything relationship wise for a good while, and no guarantee she will be looking at you in that way, so forget romance, and stay within the co-worker, friends boundaries
  • Jul 22, 2008, 10:18 AM
    wantu
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JBeaucaire
    I was with you until the end, then you lost me at "this girl likes me that I came to know..." I'm sorry, is this a WHOLE NEW girl different than the one you were talking about up until then?

    I don't even know what you're actually asking if that's a second girl.

    No its the same one.
  • Jul 25, 2008, 01:17 PM
    wantu
    I need to understand
    I have already explained my relation with this girl in earlier questions that I have asked in this same website.


    I understand that this girl is my friend but whenever I tell her to leave her boyfriend she tells me that she cannot because she loves her too much and other reasons like his dad expired last year if she leaves her then he will breakdown and many other reasons.

    What I think is that she doesn’t love him but just attached with him due to some attachments. Whenever I ignore her she feels little bit
    Angry and puzzled.

    . When she cannot make something’s that she wants she always talks to her boyfriend very loud (on the phone) as if like I will feel jealous and angry.

    If I feel bad about it then she laughs and feels very happy. When I feel unhappy she expresses her concern.
    She asks for many helps and we share many small secrets among us.

    But whenever I tell her to leave him she gives me excuses like “you don’t know how hard it is to leave someone when you are in love “

    “u will never understand”

    And many more.


    I don’t understand what actually is happening.


    If she doesn’t feel the same way why she is reacting like this and if she feels the same way why she is avoiding accepting that.

    Do girls take time to accept if they love someone?

    Please analyze and suggest me.

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