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talaniman · Jun 18, 2008, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by Genuineforce

I can see right through you, and I'm sure some others here can as well wheather they
keep it to themselves or not.;)

Don't take your frustration with your love life out on me. Just get a puppy dog, and get all the unconditional love you need.

talaniman · Jun 18, 2008, 08:52 PM

Opinions please! I'd love to hear any and all!

HMMMMMM??

Genuineforce · Jun 18, 2008, 09:14 PM

You still here?

Genuineforce · Jun 18, 2008, 09:17 PM

This must be why you advise people, like hearing yourself talk... well I'll humor you.
There's this really great scene in an 80's movie called Beverly Hills Cop. Its where you
Have Eddie Murphy talking lots of s**t while being carried out off a building. He continues to talk tough, yet he is thrown through a glass window onto the sidewalk. Reality begins to set in... I let you have the last word though, since you are all talk. We see right through you...

Genuineforce · Jun 18, 2008, 09:18 PM

Goodnight fella

talaniman · Jun 18, 2008, 09:28 PM

Did you get it all out or are you still in need to vent? Go ahead, I do understand.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2893679

BABYCAKEZ55 · Jun 18, 2008, 09:34 PM

I Think You Did The Right Thing
You Don't Really Know What That Girl Did
If She Was Smoking Weed
And I Don't Think You Should Trust Someone Who Smoke Or Uses Drugs

Genuineforce · Jun 19, 2008, 06:36 AM

Originally Posted by BABYCAKEZ55

I Think You Did The Right Thing
You Dont Really Know What That Girl Did
If She Was Smoking Weed
And I Dont Think You Should Trust Someone Who Smoke Or Uses Drugs

You are right on the head here. Thanks. Obviously Dr. Phil, ahhhemm, I mean Talaniman
Sees this situation otherwise. People love giving hypocritical advice. They wouldn't deal with this situation the way they advise me to at all. Truly ridiculous. I feel great on the other hand, and am going out to breakfast. Thanks!

JBeaucaire · Jun 19, 2008, 06:53 AM

Talaniman is one of the relationship experts you asked for input from here. Posting on this forum targeted him specifically.

I've reread your posts and his. His responses were clear and unthreatening.

You're taking your dislike for his response (which I actually DO understand, we are pretty straightforward here responding to what posters provide), you're taking your dislike for his response and actually disparaging his entire worldview and you've even called his successful marriage a fake.

You're being unreasonable in the faces of people who spend time on this site actually trying to help. You don't see that as a problem?

Meanwhile, though you're acting like a spoiled child, everyone here, including Talaniman, keep treating you civilly and trying to help.

As I said before, places like this forum are about reasonable people interacting. Everyone talking to you is being calm and reasonable because we only want to help you, if we can.

Are you capable of doing the same? It would be awesome to know you can disagree with someone without an accompanying hatchet-job. I think you can.

N0help4u · Jun 19, 2008, 06:53 AM

Talaniman (and I were both) agreeing that she was not right and you did the right thing.
Talaniman was just basically pointing out that maybe you were somewhat controlling or possessive but that was before Tal realized the rest of the story.
We both said setting aside who is right and wrong your values are different and you are not compatible.

talaniman · Jun 19, 2008, 06:56 AM

That's why I posted your other posts so people can recognize your patterns and judge for themselves.

If your happy so am I. Enjoy your breakfast.

talaniman · Jun 19, 2008, 07:01 AM

They wouldn't deal with this situation the way they advise me to at all.

I wouldn't have a strange female living with me in the first place, and 4 months is a stranger still.

Genuineforce · Jun 19, 2008, 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Thats why I posted your other posts so people can recognize your patterns and judge for themselves.

If your happy so am I. Enjoy your breakfast.

Heh, you posted "parts" of my other posts to form a basis for a ridiculous comment. Without that you could not get a "jury" to agree with you. This isn't a courtroom however, and nobody trusts the character of a lawyer. I have already made you eat your words to these REAL perople here. Anyway, the point here is that I, yes I said "I" (meaning NOT you) had a bad relationship, and had a list of good reasons to end it with this particular female. Enough people here were REAL, and understood the situation on a level that you clearly do not. Your motivation here is to "disect" peoples words, and play tit for tat (SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT ADVISOR) to prove that I have dealt with this woman in the wrong way. You do not wish to lose rank on this site with people who trust your advice (not saying that you haven't given good advice to other people with issues, but your advice on this issue was no good). You are not perfect, and will not receive an A+ every time with your advice brotha. Sorry that's not how the world works, just as we all don't get an A+ in each relationship.

Genuineforce · Jun 19, 2008, 07:58 AM

I spelled people wrong, I typed perople instead. Lets see how you continue "TIT FOR TAT", because you can't be wrong. Great Advisor

Genuineforce · Jun 19, 2008, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Talaniman is one of the relationship experts you asked for input from here. Posting on this forum targeted him specifically.

I've reread your posts and his. His responses were clear and unthreatening.

You're taking your dislike for his response (which I actually DO understand, we are pretty straightforward here responding to what posters provide), you're taking your dislike for his response and actually disparaging his entire worldview and you've even called his successful marriage a fake.

You're being unreasonable in the faces of people who spend time on this site actually trying to help. You don't see that as a problem?

Meanwhile, though you're acting like a spoiled child, everyone here, including Talaniman, keep treating you civilly and trying to help.

As I said before, places like this forum are about reasonable people interacting. Everyone talking to you is being calm and reasonable because we only want to help you, if we can.

Are you capable of doing the same? It would be awesome to know you can disagree with someone without an accompanying hatchet-job. I think you can.

Maybe I was not clear on what advice I wanted here, I can agree with that. I'd like advice from people who have ACTALLY dealt with this type of situation hands on. Not someone who read a book only. I may have not pleased everyone with my comments to Talaniman, however I have expressed having NO interest in his advice on this issue. Nobody here would accept thei partner who they live with to stay out all night till the next day without any form of communication. Sorry

Genuineforce · Jun 19, 2008, 08:30 AM

Talaniman's first response to this issue was after I gave all angles to the situation. I can understand the other peoples comments before that. Being controlling does not come into play once you read more on what lead up to this with her. Perhapps you are a more passive male, regardless to that I came to a mutual agreement with this female before starting the relationship. When you brake these agreements with your partner, they have their right to act according. Has nothing to do with being controlling. It has to do with what is and isn't OK for ME to be in a relationship with this person.

starlite1 · Jun 19, 2008, 09:00 AM

Hi Genuineforce,

In reading your post and the additions to it, I do understand why you got upset with your girlfriend. It is disrespectful on her part for sure. But, realize that she may not be ready to settle down at this time, and perhaps it would be better for you to find someone that is more compatible for you.

Now, please pardon me for stepping in here and adding my 2 cents, but, Talaniman is great. He might not give you the answer(s) that YOU are looking for, but I assure you, he reads everyone's posts in there entirety. He is wonderful, and I am thankful to him (and everyone else) for ALL of their responses to me and for their advise. Sometime the answers and/or opinions are not what we really want to hear, but, I value each one. I am not trying to force you to agree with him, but putting him down? NO WAY! The man is married, successfully, for 30 years. Obviously that says that he knows how to have a successful marriage (as does his wife), and knows how to deal with ups and downs. Maybe he did or didn't have heartache in the past, but he does have a long, beautiful marriage. Who wouldn't appreciate advice from this man!

Kudos Tal!

We are all hear to help each other, that is what makes the people on here so amazing. Its great that you are here too, but, just because we may come off harsh sometimes, we do not mean any disrespect. We just are trying to help. You strike me as someone who demands respect, and that's a good thing! Please respect the other posters in return. We demand it too. :)

Burn_Notice · Jun 19, 2008, 09:16 AM

I think your ex's behaviour was unacceptable, and I think you are much better off without a girl who is using drugs with her MOTHER.

I know that I am a bit too controlling and I can admit it. I must also say that I share your views of communication and respect and my relationship of 1 year just ended 2 weeks ago due to problems of this kind. I guess I am too old-fashioned for a 21 year old, but I dream of a girl who does not drink heavily every month and has to drink each time she goes out. :(

talaniman · Jun 19, 2008, 11:53 AM

GF,

Others here may not be familiar with you at all, but between you and I we have been through this before, as this isn't the first time my advice has piszed you off to the point of blinding you, and your insane logic. Unfortunately your tirades change nothing, and you will never see the part you played in sabatoging this relationship as you have others, again you will repeat this same pattern over again until you get it right. Take some good advice, and stop trying to make some one over in your image, and pick a lot more carefully your next victim.

Don't get me wrong I honestly want you to be happy, but until you make better choices to begin with, No way.

So rant away buddy, if it makes you feel better, Don't like my advice? Pass on it. When enough people read your whole story, they will agree with me, no doubt. Even if they don't doesn't matter, I'm here to help, and so are many others, what are you here for, beside spreading bad attitude?

N0help4u · Jun 19, 2008, 12:05 PM

You wanted support that you were in the right you got it even from Tal and me and others.
Seems you like to dwell on minor details instead of focusing on the main issue.
A preacher once told me when you eat meat throw away the bones.
Meaning get the over all message of what Talaniman said and don't squabble over the
Small stuff. This has gone from you wanting reaffirmed that you did the right thing to defending yourself that you are not controlling. In the process you are turning this into a thing about who is in control. Maybe that is a problem you have --having to make everything all about black and white/right and wrong?