[OverDozed]

Am still stuck. I can't get my life back to normal. I still love her. I miss her more and more each time I try to forget her. I just don't know what to do, am totally confused. It like my head is about to blow. How can I forget a person I love? FOGETING A PERSON I LOVE IS LIKE REMEMBERING A PERSON I Don't KNEW.
I want us to be together again. This is too much for me to take.

LIFE is REALLY UNFAIR! I thought I can make it, but it seems that the more I try the more am about to break. Am on the edge of giving up. I only cling to the belief that this'll be over someday soon and that she'll be with me like it was before. Am only 22 but I know when and where to get serious. Since a kid I've experienced drastic events and things.

With that 4 years relationship, all I did was to adjust and try to understand her. Why can't she see through it? Did she even think about my sacrifices? Are all girls like that? I've been serious, loyal and dedicated to her. Why can't she even give me a chance? Are promises always made to be broken? Like what they say, or it's the HEART THAT IS MADE TO BE BROKEN? I know some of you guys feel the way am feeling right now.

Can't help but cry each time I woke up after dreaming of her. Those dreams were perfect, I WISH TO LIVE ON THOSE MOMENTS. How can she do this to me? For I've given everything to her!. TO FALL IN LOVE IS AWFULLY SIMPLE, BUT TO FALL OUT OF LOVE IS SIMPLY AWFULL! am too blind to not see it coming to this!

I want to talk to her, but am afraid. ITS TOO PAINFUL TO SEE HER KNOWING THAT I STILL LOVE HER BUT I can't EMBRACE HER!(cries)... will she easy forget me? Please answer me guys. Can she replace that easy? Can't she feel what I feel right now? Is there a chance for us to be together again? Is it that easy for women? I can't stand to see her with another guy, I can't take it! Now I took a bus ride alone going to school. I want to take a bus ride together with her like it was before. She's all I've got, now am all alone most of the time. Its so lonely with her. *cries*

Is it that easy for her, my ex to forget all the things I did? Why is it like that? I tried my best to make things right. I loved her more than I love myself. I still love her. My younger sister text my ex about the incident, that I cut my wrist. She even described how it looks like. 3 cuts on the right 4 on the left my ex got mad at it. Gee!

Our past memories still bugs me, each time I try to sleep. They come all together like a movie playing on my head. I tried to be busy. But at the end of the day, I still feel the sting. I know I just can't escape this, I have to face this. I miss her. How can she dump me like that, for I only want what's best for her and us.dont know if I can make through this semester, she's my strength and reason why I entered college. I don't know if I can concentrate on this semester.

I want to talk to her, I want to plead and cry in front of her, I want her to know how her decision is affecting me, of how hard it is to try and make it through a day with her,that she's the reason why I entered college, that I need her to make it through this, of how I missed her so much and of how I can't forget her because I love her. But you guys do not permit me, am not blaming you guys. You only want to help. Sorry for what I've said, am only being honest to you and obeying what you said.

I knew all about her, may be not all but most of it. She can be easilly infuenced. I knew she's been under her friends influnce. And I don't want to see her plunging down. Am only protecting her? Does protecting someone from harm and bad influence too tight! Gee!

Am planning to talk to her older sister about things. To pour out things am feeling. Will that be okey? I still love my ex, I want her back. I think I've lost my sense of wrong and right. Like I've said, am on the edge and am falling apart. I know its not over because as long as I live I know I have a chance to make it right... living without her is too hard for me...

*cries*


@kuulski - may be not only months... think this'll take a year or so...

@Matteus - yes am still alive... so I must go and meet her and say those things? How about the NC thing?

[Matteus]

Part 1-2

Do you want my opinion? Really?

am still stuck. i can't get my life back to normal. i still love her. i miss her more and more each time i try to forget her. i just dont know what to do, am totally confused. it like my head is about to blow. how can i forget a person i love?

I tell you something. These are the words I used to say before 4 months. Did you copy them somewhere :)? Common, look at me now, I was back from the hell man, and I'm happy again. You don't even know what happened to me. I was cheated, disrespected, played, lied, used from so many months, and I was so deep in love with her, when I used to know the truth. Beliefe how hard it is, as I used to get the truth by myself, because the lady had no nerves to breakup and was such a little person to try to say the truth. How does it sound? Hell, right! What I did ? I said to myself, I'm me. Im a strong person. At least I'm a better person who is going to be improved. What was the breakup? JUST A WAY TO UNDERSTAND MYSELF, AND KNOW WHERE I WAS WRONG. I can live by myself. I don't need anyone in the world to make me happy. NOBODY CAN LOVE YOU IF YOU Don't LOVE YOURSELF! AND YOU can't LOVE No one IF YOU Don't KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF. Look at this. You are so down right now, and she is having fun somewhere. That makes you ill. Exactly. What you need to do? Have fun somewhere else too. Friends, etc. I MEAN, HAVE A LIFE!

FOGETING A PERSON I LOVE IS LIKE REMEMBERING A PERSON I DONT KNEW.

Don't base your life on quotes OR OTHER PEOPLE buddy!!

i want us to be together again. this is too much for me to take.

Wishfull thinking... Don't you understand that by your behaviour you ARE NOT THE CATCH ANYMORE?? WAKE UP!

LIFE is REALLY UNFAIR! i thought i can make it, but it seems that the more i try the more am about to break. am on the edge of giving up. i only cling to the belief that this'll be over someday soon and that she'll be with me like it was before.

Life is unfair... oh god, kill this man, really. Who the hell are you? Again and again? You base your life on bad experiences? On breakups? And you took the breakups and bad experiences, as some dramas in your life... LEARN FROM THEM!! THEY ARE THE EXPERIENCES. CAN YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF NOW THAT YOU ARE HURT? NOO!! YOU ARE WEAK... ARE YOU? NO? A GIRL PUTS YOU DOWN AND YOU can't STAND FOR YOURSELF? YOU SEE IT...

am only 22 but i know when and where to get serious. since a kid ive experienced drastic events and things.

Serious? Where? When? How? I don't see it. LISTEN NOW. You have to be serious about your life and yourself. Look at you. You little creature. You are discusting me. Can't you see how down you are? Do you deserve it ? SOMEONE PUTS YOU IN THE SH!T, AND YOU STAY THERE TRYING TO REACH HER HAND TO GET YOU OUT OF THAT SH!T AGAIN. YOU THINK It's a GAME. YOU THINK SHE WILL COME AND SAY, HEY COMMON, IT WAS JUST A JOKE. SHE LEFT YOU THERE ON THE STREET LIKE A DAMN DOG, AND YOU STILL HANG UP ON HOPES. ITS OVER. ITS GONE. Its like you like dramas in your life, that's why you had drastic events and things in your life. There is a quote, as I see you like quotes. If you are pesimistic about the things, I'm sorry bro, but that will be the fate for you. You write your own fate.

with that 4 years relationship, all i did was to adjust and try to understand her. why can't she see through it? did she even think about my sacrifices? are all girls like that? ive been serious, loyal and dedicated to her. why can't she even give me a chance? are promises always made to be broken? like what they say, or its THE HEART THAT IS MADE TO BE BROKEN? i know some of you guys feel the way am feeling right now.

Wowowowow the little romeo. Take it easy cause you are making me nervous right now. Really. You did everything for her. Sacrifices. Serious, loyal, dedicated. Pfffffff. You are nothing more but a controlling nature piece of . Look at you again. You did everything to have her approval, and make her stay. Your controlling nature made a plan for the future. You do everything for her, so she can't leave me. She will feel obligated. GOD, why do such people live?

cant help but cry each time i woke up after dreaming of her. those dreams were perfect, I WISH TO LIVE ON THOSE MOMENTS. how can she do this to me? for ive given everything to her!...TO FALL IN LOVE IS AWFULLY SIMPLE, BUT TO FALL OUT OF LOVE IS SIMPLY AWFULL!!am too blind to not see it coming to this!

Yes, cry little baby, cry. Dream about her. Can't you see how obssesed you are? Obssesive, possessive, controlling, manipulator, insecure, jealous, every bad word I can say. Listen buddy. I'm being really harsh with you, but I'm telling just the truth, nothing more. Do you want to stop focusing about her, and in the time you will feel better and let the hurt heal? I gave you 5 points about your character, where you can focus, and work on yourself. So, focus on yourself right now, and that is the only way, to have her back. In the end of a therapy, she will be flying to you, listen to me. BUT, ONLY BUT, IF YOU WILL FIRST LEARN THE LESSON, AND WORK TO BE A BETTER PERSON!

i want to talk to her, but am afraid. ITS TOO PAINFUL TO SEE HER KNOWING THAT I STILL LOVE HER BUT I can't EMBRACE HER!(cries)...will she easy forget me? please answer me guys. can she replace that easy? can't she feel what i feel right now? is there a chance for us to be together again? is it that easy for women? i can't stand to see her with another guy, i can't take it! now i took a bus ride alone going to school. i want to take a bus ride together with her like it was before. she's all ive got, now am all alone most of the time. its so lonely with her. *cries*

You are afraid that she is going to forget about you. That is the point. You love to be loved, no matter what.

is it that easy for her, my ex to forget all the things i did? why is it like that? i tried my best to make things right. i loved her more than i love myself. i still love her. my younger sister text my ex bout the incident, that i cut my wrist. she even described how it looks like. 3 cuts on the right 4 on the left my ex got mad at it. gee!

You are the pain in your , not hers. You are nothing but a loser. You wanted to cut your life because of her?? Do you know what you did with that ? Really? No! You scared your ex even more, you little freak. Absolutely she has every right to fly away from you even more. Don't even think she will want to be with you, because even if she wants, she is scared now that you wanted to cut your life because of her. No one wants drama in their life, don't you understand this?? What if she comes back, and goes away after another round? She will be afraid you will do the same thing again, and that is the reason she will hesitate. Listen to me, stop everything what you are doing! Immediately! YOU ARE SCARING HER!

our past memories still bugs me, each time i try to sleep. they come all together like a movie playing on my head. i tried to be busy. but at the end of the day, i still feel the sting. i know i just can't escape this, i have to face this. i miss her. how can she dump me like that, for i only want whats best for her and us.dont know if i can make through this semester, shes my strength and reason why i entered college. i dont know if i can concentrate on this semester.

Buddy buddy, what should I say... what are you by the way? A man or a female?

i want to talk to her, i want to plead and cry in front of her, i want her to know how her desicion is affecting me, of how hard it is to try and make it through a day with her,that shes the reason why i entered college, that i need her to make it through this, of how i missed her so much and of how i can't forget her because i love her. but you guys do not permit me, am not blaming you guys. you only want to help. sorry for what ive said, am only being honest to you and obeying what you said.

YOU Don't LOVE HER! YOU Don't LOVE YOURSELF! You are just obssesed on this girl. Its your torment. Your nightmare. That's all. You did everything because of her. You admit it. She is your strength. So, she is stronger than you. And you lose. What is the point here? You have to be strong and love yourself in order to love someone else, for the 1 million time. You have to respect yourself, for someone to respect you. Are you doing this? NO! You are crying like a little baby, whom someone stool a toy. And you can't live without that toy?

i knew all bout her, may be not all but most of it. she can be easilly infuenced. i knew shes been under her friends influnce. and i dont want to see her plunging down. am only protecting her? does protecting someone from harm and bad influence too tight! gee!

1. Exactly, she is easy influenced. A toy? Right.
2. I told you, but you don't listen. You are protecting whom? Is she your child? Common, she has a life even without you protecting her. She has her parents for the god sake. DId you had a relationship or what, cause this is what I don't get. You think you were protecting her? I guess, you told her she should not stay with such friends, with such company, etc. right? Because they are bad... exactly. And she went with them. Were you protecting? NO, You were trying to control her and manipulate her thoughts. She knew that, and now she is gone. She was afraid of you and about the future.

[Matteus]

Part 2-2

am planning to talk to her older sister bout things. to pour out things am feeling. will that be okey? i still love my ex, i want her back. i think ive lost my sense of wrong and right. like ive said, am on the edge and am falling apart. i know its not over coz as long as i live i know i have a chance to make it right...living without her is too hard for me...

NEVER EVER TALK TO SOME OF HER FRIENDS, OR PARENTS OR SISTERS! YOU ARE ONLY Controlling HER AND MANIPULATING HER THROUGH HER PARENTS AND SISTERS. YOU TALK ONLY TO HER, IF SHE WANTS TO TALK, OTHERWISE LET HER FLY. DO YOU LOVE HER? PROVE IT! LEAVE HER WITH HER DECISION. LET HER GO! CAN YOU DO THIS? YOU Don't LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU Don't LOVE HIS/HER DECISIONS.

@Matteus - yes am still alive.....so i must go and meet her and say those things? how bout the NC thing?

Listen, the last thing. You may accuse me about being harsh, or a pain in the for you, I don't care that much. If you want to hear my opinion, hear it. But I'm not going to say what you like to hear. I don't know if you talk to her, in a way or another. But sooner or later, after every breakup, the couple will try for a little closure, that is for sure. So if she didn't talked to you, I guess she will do it. You should NOT!only if she wants! Than tell her every word I said to you. And the lesson you have learned since the breakup. That you are a controlling type, a possessive, an obssesed person, a co-dependent, an insecure, a manipulator, and everything else. That is what the breakup affected on you. For telling you the real you. You get my poiint? And that you need to go to some therapy, cause you don't want to lose another person in your life, by your behaviour. This way, here is a little white "manipulation" which is fair:

1. you tell her what you have learned about yourself, and you should make a big excuse for your behaviour. That you treated her like a child, like a stupid person.
2. you need to take care of yourself, and your behaviour, and be a better man and partner.
3. by telling her about the therapy, you let her KNOW (do not say to her that the door is open) that the door will still remain open if she thinks to come back sometime, and that she will find someone completely new, in every point.

BUT YOU ARE DOING ALL THESE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF, AND NOT BECAUSE OF HER! Don't GO AFTER HER ASKING HER IF SHE WILL WANT TO COME WITH YOU AFTER THE THERAPY!~!!
After that meeting, you just disappear until she comes in contact again. I really say, go make some therapy, cause you really need one, if you don't want to lose other people in your life.
Look at my quote here below. It will help you a lot!

[smoothy]

Get some professional therapy. Anyone who can't or won't accept reality needs professional help before they become a danger to themselves and others. You aren't there yet but you aren't that far from it. Do yourself a favor and get yourself some help. The girl doesn't want you so give it up already. She isn't a possession or thing that you can control or own. When you understand what that means then you might understand what's wrong here and what a relationship really is.

[cerisa]

Overdozed, You have a life given you by God. You must make it a good one FOR YOURSELF. Injuring yourself hurts only you hon. She is not going to be impressed because you are emotional. And really, why should you want her to be? Wouldn't you rather have a relationship where you both admire each others strengths? c'mon kiddo, build up those "can do!" muscles, grab life by the ----- and begin enjoying it. Don't waste it on regrets. Make new memories, better ones. You are young, what I wouldn't do to have your youth and energy. Use it to make every day a good day,FOR YOU.
BTW, girls will be more attracted to guy who is confident and happy. I am rooting for you.

[OverDozed]

Just wondering, if my love for her stays strong through all my efforts in improving, moving on and letting go, then may be am trying to do the impossible and make my heart erase true love. What do you think?

@Matteus
Bullseye! Go got me there right... it took a long while to understand me and myself. All this panicking makes me think and act like this... the pages of my life has left an empty space. But ill fill that empty space soon! You'll see.. am not planning to talk to her anymore. Ill leave it at that. Ill be focusing more on my studies and to improve myself. Ill learn from my mistakes, after all we all made mistakes in our little cute lives. Think I don't need a therapy. Am OK with you being harsh to me. I understand that. Thanks..

@smoothy
Yes I've been a danger to myself. Sorry, it won't happen again. Ei! I don't need a therapy. Bhee! I think am not that type of guy who wants to manipulate her, because some of the things I said and warned her not to do were also the things that her parents told me. Her mom said that I should look at her all times, that she should not smoke, drink etc. its just that her parents expected too much from me that I can't fail them.gee!

@cerisa
Hon?
Ei! God didn't gave me this life. It mine since the very beginning. Sorry I don't believe in deities, gods & goddesses. Yah! Ill look for someone who'll appreciate me like I appreciate her. Gee! Am going out with friends a lot lot lot lot now..




What do you mean by "You never let them catch you. You always keep the mystery. You never give them all of you."??

Are women all liars? Do they only say things like how much they love and care for you, just for you to not to leave them? I don't want to believe that they're selfish and that they only care for themselves.
She's too cold and heartless by that time. Women are so hard to figure! Just want to ask if you have any ideas on why women want different things in the relationship and they change their mind along the way?

I can do this like you guys did!
You'll see!
You'll seee!!

[Matteus]

just wondering, if my love for her stays strong through all my efforts in improving, moving on and letting go, then may be am trying to do the impossible and make my heart erase true love. what do you think?

This is not a test, some examination test. I told you the way you should look your position, and how to analyze yourself. I told you some mistakes in your behaviour, which can absolutely be fixed, and all you need is the "Good Will". I am not saying you should not talk to her anymore, and forget her, and move on, as you see. Im saying you should take action on yourself NOW! You still don't get my point. You lost the girl because of you, not because of her or anybody else. And the way you are taking action, like "i wont talk to her anymore, i will erase my heart, etc", you are still doing something against her! Stop it! Its like is her fault why the things went this way. So, in somehow you are judging her again. Stop talking about her, or the things you are doing against her. If she wants to stay a friend, let it be. Remember, you did things against her and her needs, that's why the relation ended. Now you should stop that! Sometimes, these "needs" of a woman, are missinterpreted, which means people just can't understand women at all. Its not about bying things, dinners, gifts, taking "care", "protecting" her, etc. A real need for a girl, is to have a Man in her life! Someone who makes her feel like a woman! Some Man in his shoes, not her shoes! Someone who leads her, and not be leaded from her. Someone who doesn't need her attention, her affection, etc. It's a big difference between "Want" and "Need". And being needy is the opposite of being a Man! What answer do you need more?

@Matteus
bullseye! go got me there right...it took a long while to understand me and myself. all this panicking makes me think and act like this...the pages of my life has left an empty space. but ill fill that empty space soon! you'll see..am not planning to talk to her anymore. ill leave it at that. ill be focusing more on my studies and to improve myself. ill learn from my mistakes, after all we all made mistakes in our little cute lives. think i don't need a therapy. am ok with you being harsh to me. i understand that. thanks..

If you think you understood me... In your shoes, I would take a therapy, but anyway, if you think you don't need... its up to you. By the way, what do you mean by "improving myself"? You made mistakes? Can you make a list and post it here??

@smoothy
yes ive been a danger to myself. sorry, it wont happen again. ei! i dont need a therapy. bhee! i think am not that type of guy who wants to manipulate her, coz some of the things i said and warned her not to do were also the things that her parents told me. her mom said that i should look at her all times, that she should not smoke, drink etc. its just that her parents expected too much from me that i can't fail them.gee!

Are you kidding me ? Her parents told you to take care about her, and not let her smoke, drink etc? You were not her Big Brother for the god's sake. And you are not some kind of Mother Theresa! And she is not your child, but theirs! The last sentence would be an answer I would gave to her parents! It seems to me like you were waiting for an approval from her parents, that you are a nice and "caring" guy. I guess her parents didn't knew you are in a relatioship, not some kind of "best friends". Anyway.

@cerisa
hon?
ei! god didn't gave me this life. it mine since the very beginning. sorry i dont believe in deities, gods & goddesses. yah! ill look for someone who'll appreciate me like i appreciate her. gee! am goin out with friends a lot lot lot lot now..

You didn't appreciated yourself. Still you didn't learned anything. And you think to improve. How, when you still don't know where to begin ? And by the way, don't talk like a "i am a god". You know where you came from. Before 1 month you were needy, and now you don't need anyone?? Common. It's the stage, you think you are better. You feel like that, because you know you can't do anything else to change the things.

what do you mean by "You never let them catch you. You always keep the mystery. You never give them all of you."???

Exactly what she means. You must be the catch and make her respond with attention toward you. Never give everything to the girls.

are women all liars? do they only say things like how much they love and care for you, just for you to not to leave them? i dont want to believe that they're selfish and that they only care for themselves.
shes too cold and heartless by that time. women are so hard to figure!. just want to ask if you have any ideas on why women want different things in the relationship and they change their mind along the way?

Liars.. Or Needers? Or Testers? Think about this.
Women change their minds along the way? Or you make them change the mind? Oh god, its so hard to make you come to her shoes. All I'm doing is to make you come to her shoes, and women's shoes. You change their mind, with your behaviour! Stop it!

i can do this like you guys did!
you'll see!
you'll seee!!!

I didn't do nothing but analyzing my position in a relation. I Must be a Man and act like a Man, in order for a relation to work. I don't need to be her "best friend", but her Man!! This is what you have to understand. This is the lesson from your and my mistakes! That's all. I didn't cut her off my life! I still talk to her now and than and so does she. Everyone told me to not talk to her, move on, forget her, etc. Im not saying they are losers, they just can't do this, and the best way for them is to hide their head like an ostrich in the sand. Am I better than them ? No. I just try to see things in a different way. Am I waiting for results? NO! The only result in all this, will be: I improve myself (priority), and I don't lose a person in my life (secondary)! Instead by forgeting and hiding (in somehow, I would call it hate), you do nothing but you don't learn anything, and lose someone in your life. Do men hide?? Im not saying to stalk an ex!! But I'm not saying to cut her off your life. Think about this.

You can ask whoever you want, and you will see they will not respond the way I tried to respond and make you understand the whole thing. The best way for them is to hide. But none of them will ever judge you. I have to admit that I dislike these kind of situations. I don't have nothing against them, but its like "god forgive them, they dont know what they are doing".
Ask the girls in this forum. Mostly of them will say the same things like I did.

[smoothy]

Keep in mind regardless of what her parents say or want, ultimately this girl is an adult and her own person who makes her own choices. What matters is what she decides, not what mom decides.

Now if she is one of those types that expects to have it both ways, run don't walk to the nearest exit. No man deserves the aggravation those women dish out.

[cerisa]

Overdozed, sorry if it seems I am trying to impose my beliefs on you. Not the case. I cannot deny the existence of a creator, from which all matter in the cosmos generates from. And you are right, your life is in your hands since your beginning. Glad you are getting out more.

[OverDozed]

Her parent know am her boyfriend for 4 years. Please forgive my actions. I grew up with no one. Just my younger sister who come and visit me sometimes. I came from a broken family since I was 4 years old. Since their separation, either my mom or dad didn't care for me. Luckily my uncle took care of me. Am living alone now. I wake up alone, sleep alone. Got no one to talk to.

You guys are my therapy. A lot of healing comes here.

I lost her because of me, myself and my behaviors... its not that I will not talk to her forever. I'll move on while waiting for her to talk to me.

My mistakes, just don't know if I did any. Or I didn't see it was a mistake. I only warned her not to do things that her mom and dad don't want. But we both do it sometimes, that's because I love her. I knew her limitations when it comes to alcohols. I think am not that tight to her. There was a time that she deleted all my friends contact number, she said that I shouldn't be with them. So I did. I stayed away from them till the time of our separation.

Am still fighting some urges inside me, so I think I can't talk to her right now.

cerisa its OK.. *smiles* I just have this disbelief of gods since a kid. May be because of my background.gee!

Matt! Your saying that I have to appreciate 1st myself to improve, right? I think I am appreciating myself well, second thought not that well, may be.

I have this ticket to an art gallery this coming December. It was supposed to be my early gift for her this new year. The gallery featured some of my sketches, my ex was my model. She still don't know about it. I did this for her. But now she's gone.

I don't want to hide. You saying that I should be a man always. Decide and act like a man, right?

*sobs*

[smoothy]

What we are saying is this, for whatever reason she broke up with you, it doesn't matter if it was your fault or hers. Fact is she made that decision and you have to be man enough to say she wanted that so she has it.

Life can be harsh and this is just one of those times you have to suck it up and move on. Trust me there will be other times in life that will be far tougher to deal with. Such as when you lose a parent, or sibling. Nothing in life compares to that except maybe losing a child.

Trust me in losing a girlfriend is a joke compared to those. Just be a man show maturity and close the door on that part of your life and move forward.

[Matteus]

her parent know am her boyfriend for 4 years. please forgive my actions. i grew up with no one. just my younger sister who come and visit me sometimes. i came from a broken family since i was 4 years old. since their separation, either my mom or dad didn't care for me. luckily my uncle took care of me. am living alone now. i wake up alone, sleep alone. got no one to talk to.

you guys are my therapy. a lot of healing comes here.

Im really happy to be on your side buddy. Im sorry for your story, but that's life. Important is to be strong. We all have had vortexes in our little life, but life goes on, and every new day is stronger than the previous day. Living a life, is like having a great house near a crater of a vulcano. Its ironic, but we still love our "great house".

i lost her because of me, myself and my behaviors...its not that i will not talk to her forever. I'll move on while waiting for her to talk to me.

my mistakes, just don't know if i did any. or i didn't see it was a mistake. i only warned her not to do things that her mom and dad don't want. but we both do it sometimes, thats coz i love her. i knew her limitations when it comes to alcohols. i think am not that tight to her. there was a time that she deleted all my friends contact number, she said that i shouldn't be with them. so i did. i stayed away from them till the time of our separation.

I may sound a little tought or weird to the other people if I say this, but you still didn't losed her. You want her back? Right? In somehow, that door is just closed. If it will remain closed or will be open again depends on you and fortune. You may work on yourself, be better, etc etc, and that door still will remain closed. So its like I said before, don't focus on her now. Even repairing yourself with the thought of showing her in somehow that you are changing, its called focusing on her. Just stop doing things for her! Do this for yourself. If she will ever see that you have changed, and you can be again a "boyfriend-material" in her eyes, she will open the door by herself! So I guess you understand what you mean. Don't hold on hopes, and don't lose any minute thinking of her, but Yourself! Be happy, don't worry!

All you have to write on your daily schedule is: work on yourself! When your mission is completed, than you can care about other persons. But always remember, its not your duty to bring happiness in an another person's life.

matt! your saying that i have to appreciate 1st my self to improve, right? i think i am appreciating myself well, second thought not that well, may be.

Buddy, I just talked to you, like I did to myself. And if I talk to you, it means I talk to myself. Hope you understand why I was so harsh toward you (me). I say work on yourself, take your bad side outside you, be a better human, improve yourself, your own happiness, create a aura of happiness around you, and you will see big things happening in your life. Remember, you don't need no one in your life to make you happy!

[cerisa]

OverDozed, can I speak to you as an artist then? Now I understand a little more of your intensity. Use your pain. Create from this emotion. That is what artists do. Lose yourself in your art, and you will find yourself. Great art, music, song, books, film, is born of emotion. Think Guernica. Talent, that is another thing. Having a gallery showing says you must have talent. Work it.

[OverDozed]

Think Guernica?? <-- what is it? *smiles*

I stopped drawing by the time I met her, she told me to stop it. She said she don't want to see me sketching other women. Because that's what I do, and that makes me happy that time. I stopped. Now that am gaining back that happiness, I can say that am finally moving on slowly. Ill try and take all my emotions out, and paint it on a canvas, then the pain will remain on that canvas, then it'll remind me of the times that I have to be tough.

I have this gift and talent, its my happinesss. Am not that great as those artist that'll attend the gallery, but I will be, someday.

By the way, I gave the ticket to my friend, the one that's been with me on the vacation. She said "if i were your ex, i wouldn't let you go." I looked at her and she said, "i can't loose a diamond like you, i mean, what is she thinking?"... I just smiled at her, then laugh. Can't imagine she said that! But those words touched me.

I loosed my girlfriend of 4 years, but I gained my happiness back. And a bit knowledge of who I was and what I really want.

Thanks to all of you guys... hmmm.

[OverDozed]

Ouch!!



YAWN!!

[stephtwin1]

this is my story...
its been a week since we broke up.weve been out dating, having fun and sex for 4 years. right now am good as dead, meaning no life. september 13 i picked her up at her school. shes 20 am 21. were not studying at the same college. i feel something wasnt right. i asked her if theres a problem. she said she wanted sometime to think and decide for herself. she said she wamted to decide things for her own, making decisions without thinking of me.i know its just an excuse. i gave her a few days. september 16 monday, we ate lunch together. she still have 2 hours free before her next class. but she said that she have to do her assignments for that class, so i let her go. that happens the next day too. then that night i texted her and ask whats wrong? she replied " am no longer in love with you!"..my whole world stoped for a minute.i texted her again, she didnt replied. i picked her up at their house the day after. we talked, she said that she doesnt feel any love for me anymore. it felt like my heart will explode. i asked her to give me a chance and she said yes ill give you a chance if you give me time to think. i agreed. i can't sleep that time, i was asking myself why and what went wrong. then she texted me and said she'll meet me after her class. she said ok ill give you a chance untillthe last day of this semester. that'll be on october 18. i said that was short! the she said "if you dont want it then this is goodbye!"...i have no other options but to agree...after that day i was about to show her how i really feel, i want to comfort her to and give the necklace she wanted. but she refuse to open up.i want to hold her hands but she doesnt want to. i tried to embrace her but she pushed me away.then i tell her. you gave me a chance and now that am trying to comfort you...blah blah blah...she said i gave you a chance to let you know that you dont deserve a chance! thats wierd. that really broke my heart. she gave me a chance of no chance?!. then the next day i sit down beside her and talked. i asked her what really is the reason. she said that i was too tight that she can't breathe no more. she said "i want to do things that i want, i want to be free. she misinterpreted me. i banned her from drinking and smoking coz her mom sont want it for her. i told her to limit being friends with her other school mates coz they were a part of a bad frat at their school.i did those to protect her. is that wrong? tell me guys! i dont know what to do. i dont want to lose her. she all that i have. please guys i need your help. i can't picture myself moving on. i dunno what to do. am depressed. i even cut my wrist a few days ago. luckily my uncle saw me before i run out of blood. am desperate. i dunno what went wrong. am i that tight?! i tried to explain all those thing to her. that i only did it coz i care. is that wrong?! i entered college just for her! ill be graduating next semester. am doing my thesis, but i dont know if i still can go on. i can't think right! her mom trust me a lot. been crying till now! i can't sleep well. i can't stop thinking of her. i even thought that she might be under the influence of her friends. most of her friends were guys, they have their gfs but theyre cheating them. so how can i trust those friends of her. what if those guys abused her while under the unfluence of alchohol?!cant help to think negative things! am not seeing her till now coz she dont want to. each time i try to pick her up at their school, she always pushed me back and shout at me. saying she doesnt love me and that i dont have a chance to win her back...i dont know what to do... please i need help... i want her back...please!!! should i keep on fithing or just hold off for awhile...i need help ASAP...

I'm sorry to say but I really think you should back off for a while. I know that hurts and isn't what you want to hear but your girlfriend obviously feels a bit overwhelmed by all the things you have done by trying to 'help' her. It sounds as though you are being slightly controlling. Also you shouldn't stop her doing the things she wants to or seeing the people she wants to see either! This is a major turn off in a boyfriend as it makes the girlfriend feel trapped and controlled. Hopefully you two could still be friends, and to be totally honest I think you would both benefit from this a whole lot more than being together as couple. This way you can be close still but without the tensions of the relationship. Please don't think this the end of the world... I know it hurts now but as time goes on, it WILL get better. Think about it... do you really want to hold onto someone who's heart isn't in it? Do you want the constant feeling of self worth to depreciate? Because it will. If you feel down now, it'll feel a million times worse if you're in a loveless relationship and the doubts will never leave you. It's a downward spiral and eventually, you'll crash and burn. Please don't get yourself down with it. You seem like a caring person. Spend some time with your friends and concentrate on the thesis and just get through it. Trust me, life is a lot less complicated if you stop trying to fight what's happening. Thing are the way they are for a reason. Hope it all works out OK for you.

[OverDozed]

Thanks~