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Geoffersonairplane · Jun 10, 2007, 03:49 PM

Yes I am trying to tell you something because you need a reality check. I can understand the hurt your feeling but this is all a new beginning for you. Ask yourself this question though.

What have you really lost?

Someone who never really loved you, not truly anyway.

What have you gained?

A lot... or at least, you will have gained a lot once you accept and let go, you will be much wiser and would have learned a great deal from all this.

You are in a much better position than you think you are but it will take a bit of time to realise that.

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 03:53 PM

True, I'm sure most here will know that even during the relationship there was one big topic that was buggin me. Maybe this was for the best and I ca start afresh with someone that will make me happy and appreciate the love I may feel for them.

Many thanks to everyone on this topic.

Stunning07 · Jun 10, 2007, 03:55 PM

Its prob to late but ask her to go out for launch notthing more just friends

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by Stunning07

its prob to late but ask her to go out for launch notthing more just freinds

Ahhh here's the thing, when we first split she said she wanted to be friends, not at that point I was a mess, I didn't want friendship I wanted love. I said maybe one day but right now I want you back.

Anyhoo a week passes and I ask if she still wants to be friends, she says yes but not until she finishes her exams, I thought that's a bit weird that you can't start a friendship with someone you already know, like it's a big deal. So I say OK.

Then she asks me to leave her alone until her exams are over, I again say OK.

Then She says in the distant future maybe we could be friends. Now all this time she wanted to be friends is out the window for some reason. She even blanked me, how can you make a friendship out of that.

She said she never wants me out of her life but now that's all she seems to want.

Its weird how she changed like that and went from wanting friendship to wanting nothing.

chuff · Jun 10, 2007, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by Stunning07

its prob to late but ask her to go out for launch notthing more just freinds

God no. He's struggling enough as is. He doesn't need to see her. Plus that will only confirm to her he still needs her in his life.

Stunning07 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:06 PM

Yes very true, but if she still cares about him, one year anniversy is special or any year aniversy is, if he knows how to control himself, and not show any! Affection it would not be a bad idea at all, but if she's giving him stupid excuses that means she wants the space, and you need to give her that space.

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:12 PM

Originally Posted by Stunning07

yes very true, but if she still cares about him, one year anniversy is special or any year aniversy is, if he knows how to control him self, and not show any! affection it would not be a bad idea at all, but if shes giving him stupid excuses that means she wants the space, and you need to give her that space.

She never really mentioned space, she said she wanted to be friends and then proceeded to tell me how she couldn't be friends with me.

chuff · Jun 10, 2007, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

Ahhh heres the thing, when we first split she said she wanted to be friends, not at that point i was a mess, i didnt want friendship i wanted love. I said maybe one day but right now i want you back.

Anyhoo a week passes and i ask if she still wants to be friends, she says yes but not until she finishes her exams, i thought thats a bit weird that you can't start a friendship with someone you already know, like its a big deal. So i say ok.

Then she asks me to leave her alone until her exams are over, i again say ok.

Then She says in the distant future maybe we could be friends. Now all this time she wanted to be friends is out the window for some reason. She even blanked me, how can you make a friendship out of that.

She said she never wants me out of her life but now thats all she seems to want.

Its wierd how she changed like that and went from wanting friendship to wanting nothing.

This sounds identical to a situation I had with an ex... ironically enough of about 1 year. Turned out she was seeing someone else towards the end and then when her exams came she asked for time to study. What she really wanted was time to date this other guy and if he didn't work out use the Chuffster as a back up plan if that didn't work out.

Much like you, I was confused, I thought no way would Ann (real name, no need to protect the guilty) lie to me, or not give me a chance, or throw away the past year. But guess who was really lying? Me. To myself. The clues were all there. I see them plain as day looking at it now. It was obvious then as it is now, I just was blinded by my devotion and love that I gave her but never came back to me.

Much like what happened to me, your ex doesn't need your friendship anymore. She's got someone new to keep her occupied. That's a real world lesson in how women work and that's why you never give more then 50% in a relationship. You gave 90% or more and she took 90% or more from you. That's why on reason she has no effects from the break up and your still coping with the loss. You gave so much of yourself that you have little left and you have a bigger void to fill then she does.

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:22 PM

Hmm interesting, I have asked her if there was another guy, she said no she wants to be single but she has lied so many times that I just don't know anymore.

Her having another guy is kind of like my worst nightmare right now.

kristynn · Jun 10, 2007, 04:30 PM

If I may ask, what caused you two to split up?

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:33 PM

I sent her a text saying I wasn't going to her birthday party, to see what she would say.

Turns out her ex didn't show up at her party once and she thought I was turning into him. That's the only reason I know off. She never explained to me.

kristynn · Jun 10, 2007, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

i sent her a text saying i wasnt goin to her birthday party, jus to see what she would say.

Turns out her ex didnt show up at her party once and she thought i was turning into him. Thats the only reason i know off. She never explained to me.

Aren't you interested in knowing and making things clear? Would you really let some stupid nonsense reason keep you apart?

Maybe you two should have a serious talk and clear things up. Otherwise, I don't see how you two can move on.

What do you think?

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by kristynn

Aren't you interested in knowing and making things clear between you? Would you really let some stupid nonsense reason keep you apart?

Maybe you two should have a serious talk and clear things up. Otherwise, I don't see how you two can move on.

Trust me when I say I have been trying, she doesn't want to know, I have asked and asked and even pleaded for an explanation and she wouldn't give it, all she ever said was that she had to build her trust and respect in me again.

I would love to sit down and find out why but she won't give me the chance.

kristynn · Jun 10, 2007, 04:40 PM

Well now, it's already more clear: she doesn't trust you anymore.

What did you do?

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:41 PM

What because I sent a text?

I never cheated or lied, I told her how sorry I was and she was fine, we even went out that weekend and she was fine, then I get the text on Sunday saying it was over.

saraispiel19 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:44 PM

Girls especiαlly ones thαt know whαt they αre doing won't give you the time of dαy once they αre through with you- I'm one of them. I don't wαnt to be so hαrsh but : get over it-- your mαulling over it while she's with somebody else or hαving fun with friends...

You αsking her over αnd over is probαbly reαlly creepy to her αnd she probαbly mαkes fun of you for thαt (hence the no respect pαrt)

wαlk αwαy before you lose your dignity

You mαy hαve loved her once but who knows if she ever did. Love unresponded is though but its α sign thαt you should move on.. like I sαid in the other posts : "move on its not worth wαiting for-- it could be yeαrs, months, weeks.. αre you willing to wαit thαt long? lαter on αfter if she does love you bαck you'll see you don't love her-- love unresponded is intended for α reαson"

kristynn · Jun 10, 2007, 04:45 PM

It sounds like she's hiding something. Only she knows.

Maybe she cheated on you and she feels guilty. Maybe she was too afraid you'd find out...

I don't know what else to say...

saraispiel19 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:46 PM

Orr it could be she just wαnted to be single!

zooropa1985 · Jun 10, 2007, 04:49 PM

Look she dumped me, her choice no matter what I understand and respect her decision.

What hurts is how she has handled the aftermath. She didn't have to be so cold, she didn't have to leave me hangin with no explanation.

I feel hurt but also anger with her, I gave her everything and this is how she repays me, I'm sorry but no girl has the right to treat someone like that.

kristynn · Jun 10, 2007, 04:54 PM

Perhaps she didn't realize the way she was treating you.

Or maybe she was treating you the way she thought you deserved to be treated.

Yet, you say you're innocent.

TRY HARD TO MOVE ON!

There's nothing else you can really do. Don't worry about her anymore. Don't waste your time on someone who's not worth it anymore.

Try not to see her or talk to her. Just stay away from her. Out of sight, out of mind! Seriously!