[Zea]

I think I understand!

1- You were raped 3 years ago.
2- You are ashamed to tell your family. Or, you won't tell because, your family won't understand for some reason. Or they might think it's your fault. Or?
3- Now, you want to commit suicide because you feel guilty for some reason.

I think she feels guilty, and wants to get this off her chest. But can't tell anyone?

If you can't tell your family, then tell a friend you trust. Friends aren't supposed to judge you; they should be your 2nd support system.

[joypulv]

She is a Muslim in a Muslim area where women who are not virgins before marriage are condemned, ostracized, useless, thrown out on the street, sometimes killed, or put away in a back room.
I hope you can LEAVE the country - do you have relatives anywhere who will take you in?

[N0help4u]

YepThat's why I asked what country she is in. If her family is in a country where she can get away then maybe start a new life.

[Alty]

there is not another way for me...i m in search of poison .. i asked some of my friends to provide me but they refused and asked me the reason...i can't tell them the bitter truth of my life
....is there any way through which i got my varganity back...

There is a surgery that can repair the hymen, if an intact hymen is what you consider virginity. But, once you've had sex you are no longer a virgin, and even if you could get the surgery (which I doubt is even a possibility if you live in a country where the muslim religion is by law the only religion) you still wouldn't be an actual virgin, you would just be able to pass as one on your wedding night.

Did this man rape you? You seem to skirt around that question. Rape is when a man forces sex on you, against your will. From what you've written, it sounds like you had a relationship with this man, and you allowed him to talk you into having sex because of promises of marriage.

If he did rape you, surely there are laws against that in your religion.

[Zea]

“She is a Muslim in a Muslim area where women who are not virgins before marriage are condemned, ostracized, useless, thrown out on the street, sometimes killed, or put away in a back room.”

Oh! That I didn't know. And it kind of clears some fog, but seriously? She is the victim here people.
I still don't get why she has to be the one who has to live in shame and despair (this was her question from before).

“YepThat's why I asked what country she is in.”
“If he did rape you, surely there are laws against that in your religion.”

They don't work MOST of the time. I think those bad people who rape others cover their tracks by bribing the police. I found an article about this online probably 7/8 months ago (I have 2 Muslim friends so I get interested). I think that incident was in Afghanistan.
It's really tragic.

[marium6]

I'm from pakistan... but it is like a hell there are so mny girls who abuse by the man but they can't tell and share this to any one bcoz every one in our country blame the girls

[marium6]

I can't afford the surgery, I belonged to the middle class family... in which country there is a possibility of having surgery??

[joypulv]

i m from pakistan...but it is like a hell there are so mny girls who abuse by the man but they can't tell and share this to any one bcoz every one in our country blame the girls

Yes, we hear and see and read about this on the news... but I'm not sure the press knows how much of this goes on.
Some is rape, some is promises. Men want sex and they want virgins to marry, and once they have had sex with a woman she is no good to marry, so they leave her, abuse her, or worse.
I wish you could LEAVE the area and go somewhere where you are appreciated for who you are.

[marium6]

At the end I don't have any option to live a happy life;(

[joypulv]

I wish I could bring you to the US.

[marium6]

I don't have a money to move from one city to another.. how could I visit US.

[N0help4u]

Yes you need to get to the usa where you can get protection and a new identity. If you are able let us know and we will help

[marium6]

I'm doing masters from karachi university this is my last semester... I hope I will get job after degree... if I got job in us it will convinent for me... but it take 6 months

[N0help4u]

Hang in there and do not tell anybody. Pray to God. God forgives and He knows Its not your fault to bare the shame of an evil system that would allow víctims to be killed.

[afaroo]

Hello Marium,

Suicide the biggest sin in islam open the first link, You need to be strong and pray to God forgives, sugeest to party Astaghfar open the second link, wish you all the best and may Allah give you the strenth to keep you from this sin, good luck.

Suicide and Islam - A Deeper Perspective

Dua Astaghfar (Forgiveness) | Hadith of the Day

[JudyKayTee]

Repairing the hymen does not return virginity. That's my problem with this thread.

I am also concerned with the "God doesn't hear me" statements.

I think some counseling is in order - and I don't know what's available in Muslim countries, unfortunately.

This is not just about virginity. It's about loss of self esteem, guilt - whatever goes along with that.

And to the OP - I am the adult survivor of rape. The guilt (and in my case it was forced sex, no agreement on my part, I got bruised and battered resisting) went on for a very long time. You need to find a way to "forgive" yourself - and I put forgive in quotes deliberately. It's not a good word in this situation, but it fits.

[joypulv]

Marium, when do you get your degree?

[maj77]

Look at it this way any attempt to put your life in risk at any condition is haram no question asked.
Maybe u can kill yourself in a way that every one think it was an accident but there is nothing hidden from God.
Keeping your God satisfy of yourself is more important than not to upset family and friends remember only the God knows what is the best for us and will never leave you alone.

[marium6]

Next year

[N0help4u]

Schools un the usa have Exchange student programs. They can find you a sponsor family. Please check into.