[joypulv]

Your son and you and your whole family sound like you have worked very hard to appreciate each other, and that's a lot of love.


('I have heard her speak in person, and watched her talk on TV, and seen her cow holding bins on TV.'
Is that ungrammatical, WG? I sounds like 'I seen her.' I mean I have heard, watched, and seen her.)

[JudyKayTee]

I was too hung up on "holding cow bins" to notice.

[Wondergirl]

('I have heard her speak in person, and watched her talk on TV, and seen her cow holding bins on TV.'
Is that ungrammatical, WG? I sounds like 'I seen her.' I mean I have heard, watched, and seen her.)

Your "have" carries over from the first part of the sentence, sort of. Would be good to repeat it, though.

[Wondergirl]

I was too hung up on "holding cow bins" to notice.

She saw this (to hold the cow still while giving it vaccinations) --

And built a version of this ("hug machine") for herself.

[JudyKayTee]

I had never heard this before BUT a dear friend has an autistic child and it was recommended that he wear a very tight vest when he gets upset. It's very much like those vests you put on dogs that are afraid of thunder. It's supposed to calm them.

The vest works really well.

That's what that device looks like to me.

[Wondergirl]

Yup! Thank you, Temple Grandin!

Deep Pressure, Weighted Vests & Blankets | Sensory Motor | e-Special Needs

[joypulv]

Heck, who doesn't need a hug (machine)?

[mbyrne230]

I have heard her speak in person, and watched her talk on TV, and seen her cow holding bins on TV. She's remarkable, no matter whether she 'has' something or not.

WG, the part about carrying all his equipment on your first date is a howl, but I hope mbyrne takes it to heart when she wonders how much her son connects with people as opposed to thinking what might to be to his advantage.
I like to think that we all think to our own advantage but most of us have learned to cloak it in altruism, gratitude, and norms of politeness.
Nature designed us for survival. Even the infant learns that a smile gets good results long before he has a clue what a smile is.
mbyrne's son is just near one end of the spectrum.

Joypuly, yes I agree that we all cloak our more basic natures in prettier fabrics. We have to. If my son can do that, well good for him. It will help him. I just wish sometimes that it could be a nicer world and that we didn't have to play those games. I know that sounds naïve.

[joypulv]

Naïve is good for some things.

[mbyrne230]

That's the "problem" with autism -- he is the only one walking around in his world. That means the parents, as with any child, must teach empathy and altruism by modeling it and finding worthwhile projects that family all together and also the individual on his own can work on. And I read somewhere that maybe, just maybe, we all are autistic to some extent and at various times in our lives.

"And I read somewhere that maybe, just maybe, we all are autistic to some extent and at various times in our lives."

We are WG. At least I think we are.

Hi, I'm mbyrne.

The consultant who diagnosed my son with ADD and mild Asperger's said my son was on the spectrum but at one end, not even close to the middle. He said it's quite likely that a lot of people have Asperger's, without realising it and use it to their advantage in business.

I asked him if it was hereditary because I suspected he might have inherited it from me. I had always struggled with social skills and only learned how to make friends by watching and mimicking other people. I always liked other people. I just couldn't figure out how to get them to like me.

I copied the actions of a friend, then people became my friends, then my feelings of friendship arrived. When I told the consultant this, he told me he himself had Asperger's, that I might have a mild form of it and asked my advice on what I had done to connect with people, as he needed help with that. It was a strange conversation!

It was only when I met my amazing husband that I really learned how to connect with people with my heart as well as my head.

My parents never told me they loved me or hugged me. It just wasn't their way and they always did their best. However, I never let a day go by without hugging (when they let me) and telling my sons I love them.

[Wondergirl]

And if you read Temple Grandin's books, especially the chapters on the brain and behavior, you will even more fully understand how we can each be somewhere on the autism spectrum.

[mbyrne230]

And if you read Temple Grandin's books, especially the chapters on the brain and behavior, you will even more fully understand how we can each be somewhere on the autism spectrum.

I will, thank you.

Naive is good for some things.

Thanks for all your help. It's wonderful to have this site to go on when I have a problem. It's helped me so much.