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veryfrustrated · Oct 3, 2011, 07:53 PM

Does anyone know of any Men's Advocates groups?

ScottGem · Oct 4, 2011, 02:54 AM

There are several, just do a search for Fathers rights or check out this search

fathers rights groups - Bing

ScottGem · Oct 4, 2011, 03:01 AM

Why was visitation denied? As GV said this is highly unusual? Have you been to court with him or you just relying on what he has told you?

If he gets a new lawyer (and since he's military, he should be able to get some help from the military law group) the judge may allow for presentation of new motions.

He can't afford not to do this now, since it will be costing him for the rest of his life.

veryfrustrated · Oct 4, 2011, 01:54 PM

He has had 1 court hearing that I arrived late to. That is when he was ordered to pay the $1100. He tried to object that amount (He already pays child support for twin boys, he was willing to pay $500)and that was denied. He says that's when he objected paternity and requested a DNA test. He says that he was not granted visitation because he requested the DNA Test.

He went to JAG in Tx and they told him they couldn't do anything because the case is in NC. They told him they can't provide him legal counsel because although his lawyer has resigned she is still his lawyer and that would be a conflict. He has a hearing on 10/17, that he doesn't have a clue what it's about; his lawyer won't return his calls (never has) and the court tells him that he needs to talk to his lawyer.

This whole situation just doesn't seem right.

JudyKayTee · Oct 4, 2011, 02:10 PM

Judges in South Carolina don't simply make up numbers. Child support is by formula, and here it is: North Carolina Child Support Calculator - AllLaw.com

His lawyer hasn't resigned until the Court PERMITS her to resign (from what I am reading).

Who is the mother of the twins? This same woman?

I very much doubt the Court dismissed his objections OR awarded child support because he requested DNA. It may very well be that he is the legal father of the child so DNA at this point does not matter.

I am also rather shocked (and this is more along the lines of personal advice) that he would walk out of the life of a four year old rather than argue with the mother over money and visitation. I have stepchildren and stepGRANDchildren. The grandchildren know me as their grandmother. I can't imagine walking away. As I said - nothing legal, strictly personal advice.

veryfrustrated · Oct 4, 2011, 02:23 PM

Judy, although the lawyer has not resigned she will not respond to his messages or provide him with any information. So bottom line he has no representation. The case is not in SC but NC. The twins are from a previous relationship. The judge would not accept to take the child support he pays to them in consideration and he was placed in a position to choose between being able to continue supporting his biological children or supporting this child. We love the child dearly and this has not been an easy decision to make. The mother refuses to let us see the child and had moved out of state (unknown to the court). The court has imposed the temporary child support but awarded no visitation or shared custody. The child's mother does not want us involved in the child's life. They've been separated since 2008 and we have not been allowed to see the child in the past year. My son has come to the decision that if she does not want for him to act as the father (which he was willing to do and offered to continue paying the $500.00 a month he has been paying since 2008) then why should he continue to support this child?

cdad · Oct 4, 2011, 02:26 PM

www.state.sc.us/dss/csed/calculator.htm

JudyKayTee · Oct 4, 2011, 02:28 PM

The site I posted is NC - my mistake. I posted the right site with the wrong name. Whoops and double whoops.

I understand what you are saying, I truly do, but in the eyes of the legal system visitation/custody and support are two different things. One does not hinge on the other.

Your son goes to Court and tells the Court EXACTLY what you've told us - the Attorney wants to resign, will not turn his file over to him so he can represent himself (or find someone else to represent him) and he needs assigned counsel or a break with legal fees.

Did he request visitation and/or custody and the Court denied his request or did she ask for child support and he didn't file for visitation?

You must be heartsick - hard to see your children go through this, hard to realize this grandchild may be out of your life forever.

I'd take a look at the calculator - something is not right. The Court could very well be confused.

ScottGem · Oct 4, 2011, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by veryfrustrated

He says that's when he objected paternity and requested a DNA test. He says that he was not granted visitation because he requested the DNA Test.

That part makes sense to me. As soon as he made noises about denying paternity I can understand the court denying visitation.

As for the attorney, call her and leave a message saying if he doesn't return his calls, he will report her to the local Bar association and take action to recover what he paid.

But the court will not let him relinquish his rights. He accepted the child knowing it probably wasn't his. So he needs to follow through.

Use the calculator that Judy linked to, Figure out what he should be paying and take that into court.

GV70 · Oct 4, 2011, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Judges in South Carolina don't simply make up numbers. Child support is by formula,

Hello Judy and welcome back!
You are right - child support should be calculated according the state's child support guidelines, but I have to add that it was not ordered $ 1,100 as child support but $ 1,100 temporary child support./while divorce is pending/. That makes difference.

GV70 · Oct 4, 2011, 07:28 PM

Another thing here:
In North Carolina, both child support and spousal support/alimony awards may not exceed 60% of a military member’s pay and allowances.