[chuff]

I guess I have to ask if you were abused as a child? I’m not even being sarcastic or trying to be rude to you. If you weren’t I’d have to ask where it went wrong. If you were I really think you need a therapist. I also think you need to divorce your wife and drop your girlfriend. Neither of them are helping you. They are distractions that allow you to continue this ongoing problem of your own self interest at the expense of everybody else around you. It’s kind of hard to say about your wife since you don’t go into detail but your girlfriend has serious issues as well. Any woman that blindly gets 3 abortions to please her man has deep emotional problems and an obvious dependency problem. As far as your behaviors go the fact that the two of you are together is like the blind leading the blind. You both have issues that the other can’t solve or even help out with.

i am a married man with one child and the second child on the way, im also seeing this girl that i'm In love with.

Why? Why are you seeing anybody else? Why is that person pregnant? Why did you get married? Why did you not love you other two children enough to bring this kind of emotional torture to them?

she 8weeks pragnant by my kid. she can't have an abortion as she had 3 abortions both mine..

I’m going to say and I give a rat’s what some lib has to say, but you murdered 3 babies. What’s worse is you murdered your own 3 babies. You claim to be in love with your girlfriend but that’s all the proof I need to see that your not. You love her when she’s skinny and not bother you to go out and get some diapers. That’s your definition of love. I don’t care how the press or the woman’s movement spins it, that’s murder. If those babies were 20 minutes old outside the womb you’d be in prison. Truthfully I’m glad that your other two are alive and across an ocean. Your not emotionally fit to be a father.

And your girlfriend. How screwed up is she? I mean you might be able to argue one abortion by me if her life were in danger but that wasn’t the case was it. The problem was you loved her enough to tell her to go have a medical procedure that included going against a nature, was potentially damaging to her, and killed your kid. Then you did 3 times. But she’s screwed up emotionally as well. No woman is going to willingly do that unless she has something deep in her psyche that demands she do whatever you demand because she fears the alternative of you leaving. I bet she was brought up with parents that weren’t around or picked on a lot or both and never fully understood herself.

Let’s not discount drugs here either. Are you guys one them. I’d bet money on it.

i love her but i'm scared to tell my wife as i'm scared to lose my kids!

Why? You murdered your other three.

And let’s assume you really do love your kids. Can I honestly ask you or can you ask yourself, “At this time what do I have to offer them?” As a man I assure you that in the U.S. and Canada I know for a fact that good, honest men get absolutely raped by the courts when it comes to fathers rights. I’m going to assume it’s the same in the U.K. But you’re the one reason that the other nine good men get there kids for 2 weeks a year and still have to give half their earnings away to a woman that tells the very same children their father doesn’t give a damn.

If you fear that your going to wind up that guy I just describe, well I think you are. I don’t know how an international divorce works, my guess is since the wife and kids are in the U.S. that’s where it takes place. But on those 2 weeks the kids fly to the U.K. a year what are you going to show them? Your new girlfrined and the their half brother and sister that you left them for? How is that love? How can you honestly tell me you love your kids? What are you going to teach them? That this kind of behavior is okay.

Let me ask you and you ask yourself? Take away the two women and kids, are you truly a happy person? Are you truly comfortable with some of your decisions?

Since the answer is no, and if you say yes your lying to yourself, which is a cue that your not happy then think about where you picked up some of these beliefs. Probably as a child from similar people who were never comfortable either. You can go back and fix those problems and behaviors and set yourself up for success. You can also then pass that knowledge and wisdom to your kids who are no doubt going to be suffering from all this. If you love your kids like you claim then why not do something for them and change the kind of person you are so that 25 years from now we aren’t answering a question from tyejr about why his life sucks because he’s married to a woman with a great job that loves him but is having 3 different affairs and killing your grandkids because kids interfere with “Two for one Tuesdays” drinking night bar.

my wife lives in america and i live in england.

Why? Someone’s job had better pay really well or those no excuse for that.

she comes and goes to see me but shes not planning to move to uk as she can't live far away from her family.

Good, she’s going to need them, when she hears about this.

she did found out about our affair once my i lied to her that i ended it.

You lied! That’s shocking.

The worst part is you spend all day lying to most important person in your life. You. Everything in your life is a lie and when your forced to face the truth you justify everything with more lies. When is the last time you faced the truth? Do you even know what the truth is anymore?

.i love my wife but i can't live my life without my girlfriend.

Bull F**KING SH*T!

You don’t even love yourself. You can’t even begin to know what it’s like to love someone else.
If you loved your wife you’d be in the U.S.
If you loved your wife you wouldn’t cheat on her.
If you loved your wife you wouldn’t put her in this position as the mother of your children.
If you loved your girlfriend you wouldn’t make her get 3 abortion much less one.
If you loved your girlfriend you would first get a divorce before starting a relationship with her.

she makes me happy everytime i'm around her and i can't wait to have this kid

Why this one? What about the other 3 that got thrown in the incinerator? You finally got diaper money?

What about the other child back in the U.S? The U.K. kid by a girlfriend is more important than by a marriage. Marriage where you that that oath to her, the families, and God.

with her but i'm very scared that lots people will get hurt please help me,i am in a dilema!!!!

Your in more than a dilemma. You need to drop both the wife and the girlfriend and find out what is going on in your head. Then you need to lay out some new beliefs systems that will empower you. Is this going to be easy. Probably not. Can if be done. Yes it can. If you truly claim to love your children, and I’m going to seed that you do or at least know you should then you will do this for them. The reality is though that this will only help you. If you set up a new belief system that empowers you it will enrich your life with other relationships with women, friends, business, and your children’s. But the first thing you need to do is see a therapist. You have to figure out why you act this way and then set up new beliefs that create better results for your life.

[Tuscany]

I agree Allheart... I can't imagine why anyone would be proud of cheating on anyone. It is a sad state of affairs that we live in right now.

I feel like we could talk until we are blue in the face and yet... it would mean nothing.

[Allheart]

Um Tye,

Please see Chuff's response above. That is all the answers that you need. That is why you came here. Correct?

Read it several times. Truly read it. Be a man and soak in those words. They should it home.

I agree Allheart...I can't imagine why anyone would be proud of cheating on anyone. It is a sad state of affairs that we live in right now.

I feel like we could talk until we are blue in the face and yet...it would mean nothing.

I know Tuscany, I felt like I was just spinning around. But I think chuff turned the light on for him.

[curlybenswife]

Personally I think this man and I use the word man in the lightest of terms has to be the most needed case of vasectomy I've ever seen in my life and I tell you this one what id do to you with two bricks is nothing compared to what your wife's going to do and boy do I hope she tares you limb from limb.

[momincali]

Originally posted by Chuff

"I'm going to say and I give a rat's what some lib has to say, but you murdered 3 babies."

Yo baby, this man has just been Chuffofide! Again Chuff, that was Chuffolicious...

[talaniman]

I could deal with people being selfish and building their life on lies at the expense of others, but its always the kids who suffer and have to pay the price and this guy has kids and already aborted 3? Boggles my poor mind. As some one said he was too selfish to get a vasectomy. Cheaters just don't care who they hurt or how many. I wish you could put that horseshoe upside that guys head chuff, It may not change his stinkin' thinkin', but I would feel better.

[tye]

I didn't know all this is going to go this far... as I said my wife lives in the states and she comes once a year to see me.. so I started seeing this girl behind her back and fell completely in love with her.. the 3 babies is something that hurts me everyday.. I lose my sleep over that.. it tourter me every single day... as I said I love my wife but we barey see each other and I can't move to america as I am helping my mum with a family business she old and need my help.. and my wife refused to move the uk as she got to better job in the states all her family are there... I have taken everyone's reply very seriously and consider to get help

[Allheart]

Tye,

Then free your wife from all of these lies and let her go.

Seek help from a religious leader, whether it be a priest, rabbi, pastor or whatever you are familiar with in reference to your stituation and the 3 babies.

I will keep the 3 babies in my prayers as well as everyone involved.

If the pain you say you feel is sincere, then start today to do the right thing.

[curlybenswife]

That is asuming Tye is religious Allheart here in the uk we don't deal with everything through counciling as sad as that maybe.

Tye I point blank refuse to feel sorry for you what you have done is unforgivable in many ways, you have to be prepared to loose your wife and children but then if your that cosy with the girlfriend that probably won't bother you that much but its time to be honest with everyone especially yourself.

[Tuscany]

i didn't know all this is gonna go this far... as i said my wife lives in the states and she comes once a year to see me..so i started seeing this girl behind her back and fell completely inlove with her..the 3 babies is something that hurts me everyday..i lose my sleep over that..it tourter me every single day...as i said i love my wife but we barey see each other and i can't move to america as i am helping my mum with a family business she old and need my help.. and my wife refused to move the uk as she gotta better job in the states all her family are there...i have taken everyone's reply very seriously and consider to get help

Be a man. Set your wife free. Come clean and let her live her life with her children. I can't imagine that you truly love your wife because if you did you would have respected her enough not to get involved with someone else. Love and respect... they kind of go hand in hand. When you sleep around you do not show love or respect. I truly think you are full of it...

[chippers]

What I'm wondering is if she's your son's girl, what makes you think your wife doesn't know already.
I try to give advice and not judge the person asking a question. I try this because no one is perfect. We've all made mistakes. But come on, you're a grown man with a family people pray for everyday.
You have a wife, who by sticking with you wins my vote for saint hood. You have children and yet that's not enough. What are you trying to prove? That you can still do it. It takes two seconds to slip on a condom. What's the problem, you think it keeps you from getting closer, that you don't want anything between the two of you?
Well you decision not to sheath, has put a girls health in jeopardy. Pregnancies do count. She's already had 3 abortions and that alone puts this pregnancy at risk for miscarrage. If she's your sons girl, I'm guessing a llot younger than you and not as wise with the likes of men like you. You knew better to protect her. By that I mean staying away from her.
I know it takes two to tango and thre is a little responsibility on her shoulders as well. But you're a married man regardless of where your wife is now. You KNEW better. She could've said no but you should've asked the question in the first place.
You said you don't want to loose you wife or kids, but that's what you put into action.
Your deleima sir is your ego.
Come clean with your wife if your son hasn't already.

[valinors_sorrow]

With all due respect, I think this is an exercise in leg pulling. The OP contradicts himself too much to be real for me--"three abortions, both mine"... has only one kid now but "i'm scared to lose my kids (plural)"?? And its too farfetched too-- wife knows of affair yet he is scared to tell her again... wife lives in american and he lives in england?? I believe this to be a spoof with someone having a good laugh at the other end (as I have suspected of others I usually just don't respond to).

[rol]

<<what I'm wondering is if she's your son's girl, what makes you think your wife doesn't know already.
>>

Oops thought the story had gotten worse,Chippers by 'she 8weeks pragnant by my kid',
He means with his kid.

[rol]

Yeah reckon he's not English, too many grammar mistakes.

[talaniman]

I am unsubcribing from this thread whether it real or not.

[Wildcat21]

I don't get this - that's not a marriage either.

If this is real - being tortured once a day isn't enough.

[sexybeasty]

How can you possibly be a father to your children a continent away? If you love your family, closed the book on your past behavior and tell your wife the truth. If she takes you back, move to the States and be a father to the children you have together. Be prepared to pay child support, too... to both women.

I don't need to tell you that your behavior is caddish to say the least.