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-   -   Married man (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=58324)

  • Jan 29, 2007, 09:04 AM
    tye
    Married man
    I am a married man with one child and the second child on the way, I'm also seeing this girl that I'm In love with. She 8weeks pragnant by my kid. She can't have an abortion as she had 3 abortions both mine.. I love her but I'm scared to tell my wife as I'm scared to lose my kids! My wife lives in america and I live in england. She comes and goes to see me but she's not planning to move to uk as she can't live far away from her family. She did found out about our affair once my I lied to her that I ended it.. I love my wife but I can't live my life without my girlfriend. She makes me happy every time I'm around her and I can't wait to have this kid with her but I'm very scared that lots people will get hurt please help me,I am in a dilema!!
  • Jan 29, 2007, 09:15 AM
    manimuth
    tye, you have already hurt "lots of people". You have cheated on your wife and your girlfriend has had 3 abortions. You are being completely and inexcusably irresponsible to everyone involved. You have already gone too far and too deep to reverse the damage you've done but you MUST face up to your responsibilities now.
    You said "i love my wife but i can't live my life without my girlfriend". You are being selfish and irresponsible. You must choose one woman and one life, instead of trying to have the best of both worlds. If you are concerned about hurting those you love, you must end this double life of lies and deceit. CHOOSE.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 09:22 AM
    curlybenswife
    You mean this person has aborted children for you before and you didn't learn then I'm sorry but your selfish, no man with a ounce of human dignity would ask a women to do this let alone on numerous occasions.
    So your married and your wife's in america while you're here now correct me if I'm wrong but what the hell happened to those vows you took?? Where did it say to find another partner while married and screw around??
    You know what you don't deserve your wife or your kids you are spineless and despicable as well as emensely thoughtless.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 09:26 AM
    Tuscany
    Isn't it a little late to worry about "hurting a lot of people." You did that LONG before now. Just getting involved with someone else while you are married means that you have hurt your wife, your children, and your family, the girlfriend, and her family. And your girlfriend has has 3 abortions, (I could go on about birth control here, but that is a whole other issue! )
    It sounds like your wife needs to be told, you need to deal with the outcome. You have made your bed. Now it is time to be a man and deal with it.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 09:53 AM
    Wildcat21
    You're one sick mixed up dude.

    You have a freakin gwife with kids.

    Go seek counseling now!!

    You are sick in the head and selfish.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 10:30 AM
    s_cianci
    The others have said it all, my friend. You've got some serious issues to deal with. I'm just glad you're not my son or son-in-law.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 10:32 AM
    Allheart
    This is just so sickening sad I don't even know why I am responding to this. To think
    You posted your question with a smile face. Just adds insult to injury.

    I try so hard not to judge people and I won't change my ways now. But this really is so sad.

    The most loving thing to do? Please let your wife know and then free your wife from
    Having to live with such deceit. Let your wife have a life of happiness. Being married to you, I am so sorry to say, just is not fair to her. She has had to live with your lies and all the things you have done behind her back.

    Let your wife go -I personally, would love your wife to get the chance to find out what it truly is to be loved, give her that chance and let her go, so she is able to recover from the damage that you have done to her, and then start to build a life without you.

    The fact that you posted this with a smiley face says to me, you just don't get the damage this is causing so many, including the three innocent babies, which my mind can not even
    Go there, well it has gone there, but I will keep my comments to myself on that. That is why I say, let your wife go, and you go and get some help or do whatever, at this point, I am mainly concerened about your wife. You've made so many choices for her without her knowledge, behind her back, fess up, and finally let your wife have a voice.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 10:40 AM
    Synnen
    I honestly keep thinking that this post HAS to be a joke. Cheating across the ocean, with a woman that has had THREE abortions and is pregnant again?

    Mister, you're saying you're scared to lose your "kids" -- that has to be just a joke as well. What about the kids that were aborted?

    If this is real... you're extremely selfish. Tell your wife. She deserves to know.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 10:44 AM
    Allheart
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Synnen
    I honestly keep thinking that this post HAS to be a joke. Cheating across the ocean, with a woman that has had THREE abortions and is pregnant again?

    Mister, you're saying you're scared to lose your "kids" -- that has to be just a joke as well. What about the kids that were aborted?

    If this is real...you're extremely selfish. Tell your wife. She deserves to know.

    Hi synnen,

    Same thought ran through my mind as well. Someone out there making this story up. I read it several times in disbelief.

    We can only hope that this is just someone's sick way of trying to get attention. But I don't know.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 10:59 AM
    momincali
    I feel so sad for those three little babies that were flushed down the drain because they were inconvenient. I think that you are the toilet of all men and you will get no pitty here, however I think your girlfriend is far worse.

    Can you imagine 20 years from now when your child becomes aware of who and what his father is? The shame and sadness this child will carry knowing that his father is a selfish, deceitful person who cheated his first family and erased 3 of his potential siblings because of his lack of character will surely send him to seek lots of counseling, hope you've got lots of money!
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:06 AM
    tye
    Sorry guys the smile face was a mistake I was suppose to put sad face its just happened by mistake sorry guys.. tye
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:12 AM
    Wildcat21
    I should be a sad face.

    Go to a counselour today - you need help. I am serious.

    You also make this sound like what you are doing is OK. No it's not.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:18 AM
    Allheart
    Tye,

    The mistake with the smile face thing is more than understandable.

    You have got to be honest with your wife. It's the only right thing to do. That would show you truly do love her.

    You can not keep going on like this. Enough damage and heartache has already been done. You do have a choice to stop it.

    You are hurting your wife whether she knows it or not.

    You will feel better for FINALLY being honest, with the wife, you claim to love.

    Then after telling her, be a man and deal with the outfall of it all.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:19 AM
    momincali
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by tye
    sorry guys the smile face was a mistake i was suppose to put sad face its just happened by mistake sorry guys..tye

    Seriously Tye, with everything we just said and all you're worried about is that you made a mistake with the freaking sad face icon, seriously??
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:24 AM
    Wildcat21
    I think the smiley was on purpose - he thinks he's cool as he has his cake and eats too. Lies to his mistress. Lies to his wife and kids.

    This guy has to be at least 40 - grow up!!

    You are in some serious trouble here.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:33 AM
    tye
    I know I have lied to many people and I am about to hurt my wife's family and my girlfriend's family I'm all confused up that why I came to this website to seek for help... I am talking all your reply seriously and I regret with all the damage I'm going to cause with my family... I will try my best to seek for more help as I'm really confuse
  • Jan 29, 2007, 11:39 AM
    momincali
    What is there to be confused about?? You hurt many people, everyone involved but yourself! What is so confusing about that? Are you confused on what flavor you want this month, the wife flavor or the girlfriend fantasy life flavor? There's nothing confusing about what you did, and, the truth is you know what you're supposed to do, you just don't want to do it because it just may mean that in the end, you won't get to have your cake and eat it too. You don't want to do what you know is right because your little world will crumble, well boo freakin hoo!

    For once, think about what is in the best interest of everyone else. Put their needs first, and by their I'm not talking about your girlfriend, she's a big girl and knew what she was getting into so she doesn't have my sympathy, sorry.

    It would serve you right if you went back to your wife only to find all your belongings in the trash and a real man living in what used to be your home being a real husband to her and real father to your kids...
  • Jan 29, 2007, 12:05 PM
    Allheart
    Tye,

    The only way I am able to even come up with anything is to reach to my spiritual side.

    I am not sure what you are confused about - if you mean wife or girlfriend, I honestly don't have time for that.

    Forget the girlfriend, as Mom said, she is a big girl.

    Let's deal with the woman that you married. There is no way around this, she has to be told.

    Perhaps there is a religious person that you could speak to first for advice and council. Let them know everything. They hopefully will advise you how to best speak to your wife and how best to tell her.

    You really need to stop thinking what YOU are going to loose in this. Stop thinking of yourself. Enough.

    My advise is to seek some sort of council on how best to tell your wife. If you grew up in any religious way, that may be the best place to start.

    The confusion is over it is time to right a whole lot of wrongs.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 12:18 PM
    Tuscany
    It seems like he is saying that he is confused as a front for not dealing with his wife and his girlfriend. It seems like he is proud of the fact that he has both.
  • Jan 29, 2007, 12:21 PM
    Allheart
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tuscany
    It seems like he is saying that he is confused as a front for not dealing with his wife and his girlfriend. It seems like he is proud of the fact that he has both.

    That's just disgusting. Why am I even bothering with this Tuscany?

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