[apheliona]

I recently split up with an abusive husband. I went to a shelter first. It was really important to me to talk with other abused wives and I did a lot of reading about abuse. Emotional abuse is particularly difficult, as it can be difficult to draw a line sometimes. I would recommend going to a shelter, and even if you don't leave immediately, you should have a safety plan. I saved money, packed a bag, opened a separate secret bank account and prepared. If you do think leaving is likely, it helps to call the police during a violence episode. They arrested my husband, put a protective order out there, so he could not come back to the house (without fear of prison). It gave me time to get everything together that I needed.

[Salt Shaker]

Hey Scared to death,

I was in the same situation you are in about six years ago. My ex-husband did the same thing to me except we didn't have any pets. But everything else was the same. When I was reading your story I was like "Oh my gosh this sounded just like my situation". Girl the best thing you can do is leave him. HE'S NOT WORTH IT, trust me. When he's not home one day, just pack your stuff and leave. Leave all the furnishings. Just get your personal belongings like your clothes and special things and go. Remember you can always buy new stuff but you can't buy your life back if your dead.

Your family will always welcome you back. 8-)

Take care
Salt Shaker

[Cb1]

What makes a woman stay with an abusive husband or lover?

What makes a woman take crap from a lover or a boyfriend?

What makes a woman know for sure that a husband or a boyfriend needs some psychotherapy but she still stays and takes all the bull****?

1.Is it because she in loves?

2.Is it because the woman has no self worth?

3. Is it because she has been brought up to be somebodies door mat or to take crap from others?

4. Is it because she does not tell people how to treat her?

5.Is it because she is used to letting people have their way with her?

6.Is it because she is afraid?

[chuff]

Well it's been a little over a month. I hope this woman and her animals are safe. I hope she took the first steps to recovering and got out. I wish she would update us so we know but if she doesn't have access to a computer but in a safe place I'd understand and I hope that's what happened.

This is one of the most tragic stories I've read here at this site. Most people are getting used by there significant other or breaking up and need advice but in due time it will all work out. This woman needs a complete overhaul of her life. She had the strength to come here and get confirmation so you know she's got strength to leave. To all women (and even to men) in this situation it blows me away when I hear the excuse "I don't have the strength." If you've got the strength to stay and put up with the abuse you've got enough strength to leave and find happiness somewhere else.

It's guys like that coward husband of hers who make me wonder why nice guys really never get the real chance. There are high quality, hard working real men that would give anything to have a woman he can trust and value then you have complete tools like this loser who is such a tough dude he picks a fight with a rabbit.

[Squiffy]

He threatens you with Divorce? Sounds like a good escape plan to me. Leave this loser, you already know he is abusive, loving husbands don't make you feel threatened.