[wonderlife]

I believe that you truly BELIEVE that if you get closure from her in the way that you post here, it will help you move on easier... but I'm sorry I have to tell you I don't believe that it will.

I don't think whatever she says or tells you will ever satisfy you. In contrast, I think it may even make you feel more pain, more doubts, more confuse, or even more questions.

I used to feel like that, I really needed to know why I was dumped, what's it in my ex's mind? But let's face it the only reason you want to know is only because you want closure or you wish that if only you know why maybe you can do something about it or make a difference such as trying to win her back?

Those who dumped us move on quickly in most cases. They don't care much about us. They no longer want us in their life and that's why they did what they did. All those words "Let's be friends, Let's see what will happen, Maybe we need a break for several months" to me are just only to make it less awkward for them or keep their OPTIONS open when they just get lonely or want to use you in the future.

The feelings of being dumped are on us to deal with it, not on those who dumped us. Do you think they will care enough to do all those things we want them to do, say those things we want them to say, cry together with us? YOU CAN GET CLOSURE WITHIN YOU, NOT HER. It will happen when you make a decision of what's the best for you to do and stick to it.

I really doubt whehter it will make me feel any better or make any difference if, after dumped me (with no obvious reasons given), my ex one day write me a letter or call me or say how sorry he is and explain all the situation. I don't think it will make me feel better.. no..

It's obvious you can't get over her now. It takes time and you have to be strong. I used to play the same things on my head "Why, Why, Why, If only I knew, I can't survive, How could he, and on and on..." until I realized that it's my own stupidity to keep thinking about the past and let all these thoughts torture me again and again and again. I wanted to move on badly but I could not do it up until when I realized the toxic of my own thoughts and obsession which hinder me to move forward.

You have to let go of the past (hopes, doubts, anger, words, situations, etc.) and leave it there as it is. If there's anything wrong on your part you think it might lead to this breakup, learn from this lesson and promise yourself that you will do better next time. You have to realize that you can't change the past or whatever that had happened. But what you can do is learn from it, let it go, and concentrate on moving on. You know what you have to do in order to help you move on as others give you lot of good advices.

Also, please don't rely on somebody else (especially your ex) to get you out of these heartbreaking situation or make it easier for you, but only yourself. Life is hard by itself - good and bad things keep happening to test you all the time. Will you choose to fail and fall apart just only because you get dumped by the girl who didn't value you? I know it hurts, I know it takes time, but I don't think it's your plan to waste half a year or even a year or more stuck on her. Only you who can help yourself out of this. Believe me you will become a stonger person once you finally get over this.


You dea

[ken007nielsen]

I know, and I'm doing it right now, moving on. :)

Thanks for all the help, guys and gals.