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Homegirl 50 · Jan 23, 2011, 04:38 PM

I like mystifics answer. Also if you two have a mutual friend, pack her stuff and take it there. Tell her where it is.

poolking2011 · Jan 24, 2011, 04:23 PM

Hi

Ive been reading many threads on here about breaks ups etc, and so many off them say watch the film swingers from 1996? So I got that tonight and have just finished watching it!
What an amazing film, had me laughing and then crying thinking about my ex, I knew how the film would end but as soon as it did it really opened my eyes to what is around the corner, I know I've got along way to go until I can say I can move on in the relationship stage again, but mentally I no now that in my head I have to move on and not keep hoping for contact from her, I'm going to get my mind clean of any hope that she may come back and use the time on my own to learn from my mistakes and learn the pain she put me through from cheating on me and walking all over me because she knew she had my heart and wanted to treat me like a lap dog, and who knows when there will be another girl turn up in my life but I will make sure she can love me for who I am and I can be the best possible for her!

Its only been 2weeks since she left, but I know I done what I could for her I work really really hard I've never cheated in my life and I done what I could for her in every way possible, but what did I get in return? Cheated on, lied to, used and I've been heart broken so many times by her, yet I still gave her chances because of my love for her!

I hope that I'm not just on this way of thinking because of the film, I do still have flash backs of the good times we had but I need to think of the pain she's caused me...

Homegirl 50 · Jan 24, 2011, 05:23 PM

You're getting there

mystific · Jan 24, 2011, 05:33 PM

Remember the good times.. and only reflect on the pain she caused as a reminder of why you are where you are, or it will start festering to resentment.

Learn from the bad don't harbour it or you'll be forever distrusting. Not all women are like that.

poolking2011 · Feb 1, 2011, 06:16 AM

Hi Jane thanks for your reply,no contact for 3 weeks now,am finding it really hard but am sticking to it! I'm not planning or hoping for her back but still wonder if she will come back! You said it worked for you just wondered how long you waited?

poolking2011 · Feb 1, 2011, 03:52 PM

Just a little update!

For people that are reading this and who have just been heart broken by there now ex girlfriend,
When she first left me 3 weeks ago, I was in pieces but soon as she left I knew I had to use no contact! I had read up on it before and used it when she broke my heart a few years back, but I used it in the wrong way I used it with the fort of getting her back which I did only to have my heart broken again by her,
This time maybe for the first 2 weeks I had it in my head that I wanted her back, but the more I've read on here and the more comments and help I've had from people,
It really is best to use no contact as a way to get over her you will be told this many times and you may not believe it but it really does you the world of good, don't get me wrong its been really hard the last few weeks, I spent 7 years with her and had a lot of good times so it really is hard to just go (cold turkey) but I'm slowely coming to terms with just how bad she treated me and how she wanted things in life so different from me! It is true you do get blinded by love the more I think back the more things I see that she done to me I really should have walked away from her years ago! My auntie died last year and my comfort from my ex was well you hardley saw her why are you upset! And the worst thing she could ever do to me was cheat on me and she even done that and I stayed with her!
I couldn't bear to lose her when I had her but now she's gone its slowely opening my eyes to what I deserve from a partner, and even though there's a small part of me that would think about taking her back, I no that with time and no contact this will fade!
Any one else that is going through this please listen to the advice! Like I say 7years loving someone and its been 3weeks and already I'm finking like this!
It also helps to watch films (swingers and forgetting sarah marshal) are brilliant,I watched forgetting sarah marshal tonight and for the first time I actually got a buzz about who the next girl would be in my life!
Whilst I'm writing this update I would just ask one thing! I've been asked out for a drink by a few girls since the break up and I don't feel ready to take another girl out just yet,as it all seems to fresh! When or what are the signs that I'm ready to meet other girls?
I hope my little update will help anyone that is going through this pain...

Homegirl 50 · Feb 1, 2011, 04:22 PM

You can take someone out for a drink without dating them, but if you don't feel like going out yet, don't go.
There is no set time. When you are ready you'll know. You won't have to think about it.

poolking2011 · Feb 5, 2011, 06:32 AM

Hi guys

So its been 4 weeks now since the break up and 4 weeks since I've made contact with her! My only problem is she has pretty much text me once every week asking about something to do with her stuff in the flat, even though I had bagged it all up and as I have said on here left it in the downstairs hallway which she had access to! But a few days ago she sent me a text saying could I find her dads tea set which was in the attic, and I relpied yes? That was all then she sent me another few texts saying thanks and could I let her no when I've left it in the hallway! Which I did,
I'm trying to stick to this no contact the best I can but when I see I've got a text from her it always takes me back a couple of steps.
In future should I just ignore the texts and not reply or tell her to not text me as I'm trying to get over her?
Also I drove past her again the other day and she walked past all embarresed and once again couldn't make eye contact? Is this normal behaviour after being split up for a month from a 7year relationship! I know homegirl 50 you said she just prob didn't want to face me but we were so close when we were together it doesn't take much to wave and say hi does it?

Homegirl 50 · Feb 5, 2011, 08:16 AM

Why would you want her to do that and it's bothering you with her texting?
She does not want to face you.

Tell her you have all of her stuff together and not to text you anymore. These feelings you have are normal. It will take time.

talaniman · Feb 5, 2011, 09:44 AM

She wants to just ignore you, so get her stuff, all of it gone, have a friend drop it off, or do it yourself and leave and put an end to all this emotional drama, and you both can leave each other alone and go about your business.

Seems cut and dried to me, and pretty simple.