[teamchevy89]

I'm just having a problem believing she's poison like the first person quoted. Just because she did this makes her poison? No I don't think so

[Alty]

The way I see it you have a few options.

A) Break up with your girlfriend (who you said you're not that into) and tell her to break up with her boyfriend, and see if you two have a future.

B) Break the "guy code" and tell her boyfriend that she's not that into him, but by her own admission she does love him. Has she ever told you she loves you? Something to think about.

C) Call her, tell her you're really into having sex with her, but, because you're both in a relationship it wouldn't be right not to alert your SO's, so set up a foursome. That way you get what you want, sex with her. Her boyfriend and your girlfriend are just a bonus.

D) You realize that women with boyfriends are off limits. Did she make first contact? She may have. Doesn't matter. You're in a relationship too, and if you're not committed to that relationship than do the poor girl a favor and end it so she can find someone that deserves to be with her. You accepted the texts. I'm sure you texted back. You could have ended it long ago, but you didn't.

You're both cheating. It sounds like she finally came to her senses and realized that a one night booty call isn't worth splitting up a 6 year relationship.

[Wondergirl]

I'm just havin a problem believing she's poison like the first person quoted. Just because she did this makes her poison? No I don't think so

She's poisoning her relationship with her long-time boyfriend, and she has poisoned you toward your girlfriend.

First, dump your girlfriend, and ask the bartender to dump her boyfriend. (That's only fair.) Then, meet up and have fun. I'm guessing you won't last long in her life.

[Alty]

She's poisoning her relationship with her long-time boyfriend, and she has poisoned you toward your girlfriend.

First, dump your girlfriend, and ask the bartender to dump her boyfriend. (That's only fair.) Then, meet up and have fun. I'm guessing you won't last long in her life.

Have to spread the rep.

I'm guessing that if the OP asked her to end her relationship, she'd refuse. He wouldn't even get a chance to last in her life.

She was looking for a thrill, a bit of excitement, but she seems to have realized what's at risk, her 6 year relationship.

[teamchevy89]

I've only met her boyfriend twice at the bar she works at. I refuse to rat out either one if them. But I know the guy cheats on her through a friend and it pisses me off cause she's a great girl. The girl I'm with knows about her and suspects something but I denied it. She physically cheated about 6 months ago but I let it go cause we weren't that serious. Amy(the bartender) and Dana( my girlfriend) liked each other before but I doubt they'll talk now. I just want to be sure after 2 years I'm ready to throw this away cause I put in a lot if work with this girl and I nned to know if I should just end it now and stay with Dana

[teamchevy89]

And one more thing... Amy always talked to me but it all heated up after she met Dana about 4 months ago.

[Wondergirl]

I just wanna be sure after 2 years I'm ready to throw this away cause I put in a lot if work with this girl and I nned to know if I should just end it now and stay with Dana

"I put in a lot of work with this girl"?? I'm beginning to believe Amy deserves you and you her.

[Wondergirl]

it all heated up after she met Dana about 4 months ago.

Hmmmmmmm, wonder why THAT was??

[Alty]

I've only met her boyfriend twice at the bar she works at. I refuse to rat out either one if them. But I know the guy cheats on her through a friend and it pisses me off cause she's a great girl. The girl I'm with knows about her and suspects something but I denied it. She physically cheated about 6 months ago but I let it go cause we weren't that serious. Amy(the bartender) and Dana( my girlfriend) liked eachother before but I doubt they'll talk now. I just wanna be sure after 2 years I'm ready to throw this away cause I put in a lot if work with this girl and I nned to know if I should just end it now and stay with Dana

You put in a lot of work? Is sex texting that hard? Is cheating on your girlfriend that much work?

You say you don't want to rat anyone out. Why? Are you doing the honorable thing? If so, where was your honor when you went after a girl that is in a relationship? Where was her honor? Only people with honor and integrity should expect honor and integrity in return. You two are both of the hook in that regard.

You may not be willing to "throw this away" but she is. She's no longer texting you. She's no longer interested in having a casual fling with you. Maybe she finally realized that the work she actually put into her 6 year old relationship isn't worth losing just for a one night stand with you.

This isn't all about you and what you want. The sooner you realize that the world doesn't revolve around your wants and needs, the happier you'll be. Then you'll be ready for a relationship. Until then I suggest you become single and remain single.

Do the right thing and leave her alone.

[I wish]

Basically your girlfriend is the backup plan. I wonder how she would feel if she knew the truth.

[teamchevy89]

Wondergirl makes the most sense I hate to admit it but she's right I have to end everything. I just want to make it clear that she started the whole thing. I never once crossed the line with her until she opened the conversation. Don't perceive me as a skumbag I'm not I'm just caught up in something ice never experienced. Unless you've experienced the same thing u have no clue what it's like.

[teamchevy89]

I meant altenweg not wondergirl. Altenweg knows what she's talking about. I wish she never said any of that stuff. I'll let it go but it might be the toughest thing I've ever done.

[teamchevy89]

Altenweg what did u mean when u used the abbreviation "OP" in a previous message to wondergirl?

[Alty]

Altenweg what did u mean when u used the abreviation "OP" in a previous message to wondergirl?

OP means Original Poster, the person that asked the question. In this case, you. :)

[Alty]

I meant altenweg not wondergirl. Altenweg knows what she's talking about. I wish she never said any of that stuff. I'll let it go but it might be the toughest thing ive ever done.

It's never easy to do the right thing, but walking away is the right thing.

Maybe this is a wakeup call about your own relationship. If you could be so easily tempted than obviously the girl you're with right now isn't the one for you.

As for the bartender. I'd steer clear of her. If that means finding a different bar to hang out in, that would be a good first step. Go to no contact. Treat this like a break up. If she does start contacting you again, ignore the calls, the texts, any attempt at communication.

That's the way to go about this. At least you can be thankful that this never went beyond texting. Move on, forget her and work on finding a relationship you want to be in, one where you would never even consider straying with someone else.

[I wish]

Wondergirl makes the most sense I hate to admit it but she's right I have to end everything.

You just have to make a decision on what you think is best. Just don't pursue both girls at the same time. Pick one and stick with her. Don't use the other one as the fall back plan.

I just wanna make it clear that she started the whole thing.

Doesn't matter who started it. Even if she started it, you continued it. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I never once crossed the line with her until she opened the conversation.

You crossed the line anyway. I'm fairly sure your girlfriend won't be happy to see your sex texts with this bartender.

Don't perceive me as a skumbag I'm not I'm just caught up in something ice never experienced. Unless you've experienced the same thing u have no clue what it's like.

You'd be surprised how many people have been in this situation. You're not a skumbag, you just need to figure out what you want and stick with it.

[teamchevy89]

She's back to texting me all day

[Cat1864]

Harshness Warning

I just read this whole thread and have only one thing to say: Stop trying to make yourself look innocent and her look respectable. You knew the score from the first 'sext'. You could have stopped it then instead of playing games with her. It doesn't matter why she wants anything. What matters is why you can't seem to get your brain to accept that YOU are the problem at this time instead of her.

Break off the 'relationship' with Dana. Ignore Amy. Get yourself together and move on with your life.

Take responsibility instead of building a fantasy.

[teamchevy89]

I'm not texting her back. I don't want to break off my relationship with Dana an I'm not. I'm done with Amy all she wants to do is play with my head to get her own little thrill out of it I get it an I'm over it

[Alty]

I'm not texting her back. I don't wanna break off my relationship with Dana an I'm not. I'm done with Amy all she wants to do is play with my head to get her own little thrill out of it I get it an I'm over it

There's one thing you have to realize, and until you accept this, you won't truly understand why this whole thing is wrong.

Read what you wrote. You're done with her because she only wants to play with your head, and get her own little thrill out of it. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Why did you start sexting with her? It doesn't matter if she texted you first. It doesn't matter if she came on to you. You still made a choice, and that choice was to cheat on your girlfriend and go after Amy. You're not innocent, not even close. Both you and Amy are at fault here. You're both guilty. You were also after the cheap thrill.

Until you accept that you're not an innocent victim in this, you will continue down this road. Accept your blame in this, so you can work on yourself and better yourself. You're not the victim, you're one of the guilty parties. The only innocent victims in this are your girlfriend and Amy's boyfriend.