Please tell me what to do?

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 03:23 AM

But I tried to but I couldn't and I'm sick of this life and I haven't been eating and drinking since I was with him you can't believe it but he is my life my life worth nothing without him:(:(:(

kaka67 · Oct 9, 2010, 03:45 AM

Well as Tal would say: Time to get off the pity pot!

We have all gone through this. All of us. Or we wouldn't be here.

Ive ended a 13 year relationship recently and it was the most painful thing I've ever had to do. But it needed to be done.

Yes you will be miserable, but, day by day, one minute at a time you'll begin to get happier and forget the useless jerk who made you miserable in the first place.

Why don't you make a plan to do one thing every day. Go for a walk, go to the movies, have lunch, go shopping, exercise!!

Don't sit around girl. That's the worst thing you could do!!

It takes time. Give yourself the time to realise that you deserve better than him. Because at the moment I don't think you believe that.

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 04:19 AM

I don't know if I should be happy or not because I love him and the time I was saying to him that you are free I was saying but with my tears I can't think that I could live without him and I think that I can't move on without him please tell me what can I do that I could get over it? I sweeeeeeeeeer by god I sweeeeeer by mum that I love him more than everything in my life :( :(:(:(:(

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 04:25 AM

:( now I ended everything but I can't stooop crying and thinking and hitting my sefl :( because I love him :(

Devorameira · Oct 9, 2010, 05:13 AM

Break-ups are always hard and take time to get over. You've got to spend a lot of time with friends and family to get through the rough times.

You said that you didn't know whether to be happy or not, so I assume there were things you disliked about your relationship. Would you provide a few more details about your relationship? Was he a cheat? Was he controlling? Why did you break up?

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 06:06 AM

I breake up with him because I did something by mistake and he said he won't forgive me and he won't trust me anymore but what I did was I gave my number to someone that was from the church and he didn't talk to me because of that:(

talaniman · Oct 9, 2010, 06:12 AM

How old are You?

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 06:16 AM

I'm 17

talaniman · Oct 9, 2010, 07:02 AM

The only thing worse than a break up is a funeral, but we do grieve our losses, and move on with our lives, and find happiness. I am not sorry for your loss, he was an immature idiot who kept you under his thumb with no love for you, or caring. He was selfish, and controlling, and way to jealous. Young and immature, in short, but you were way to willing to put yourself second, and go along with his bad behavior, for this to be a healthy love. So I am sorry for what you are going through, but not sorry to see you break up.

Maybe you cannot see this now, but will in the future, but you will have better options for a real love now that you have cut him out of your life. You loved him a lot more than he loved you, and you deserve better, now you can get it, as soon as you learn to love yourself enough to protect yourself from immature guys like him.

Is this your first love, or first break up? They always seem to hurt the most.

MIZZ.CASTANEDA · Oct 9, 2010, 11:43 AM

Well broken_star I have been in this problem twice and I just had to move on I found this good guy that shows me that he loves me even though this boy is getting in our relationship telling me to leave my boyfriend and be with him but its not going to happen because I'm happy with my boyfriend... well how old are you because you sound young like me I'm 16 and I act like a older person because I been in so many situations that I know how life is with a man specially the ones like your boyfriend... just move on you'll see it will be worth it...

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 06:59 PM

:( will because I loved him and I do love him and I will love him till the last day of my life I was really and I was OK with what he was doing to me because I didn't want to losssssse himmmmmmm :( he was only person that I could feel OK when

I talk to him because I have a hard life since I was 4 years old and everyone knows that its true I have family but I always feel soooo lonely because I had no one to look after me my parents were busy with themselves :(

That's why I gave all my love and life to hiiiiiim :((

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 9, 2010, 07:04 PM

I'm 17 and its to hard when you give someone your life and you love like I did its tooooooo hard for me to move on :(

talaniman · Oct 9, 2010, 07:12 PM

Of course its hard. Break ups are hard to go through for any human. It hurts like hell, but in time, you heal. It does get better. When you have cried enough, you move on. Then you look back and learn, and you grow.

You don't have to take crap to be loved, just love yourself, and do the right things for yourself. You are to young to be addicted, and dependent on a guy so moody.

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 10, 2010, 05:25 AM

:(

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 10, 2010, 05:35 AM

OK what I need help with is that I breake up with my boyfriend its was because a mistake I did and it wasn't a big mistake.The mistake I did I wasn't really a big mistake that I should be punished in a bad way what I did was that someone from the church came up to me and he asked for my number because he wanted to talk to me and I did gave it to him. I told my boyfriend about that because I never keep something away from him. And he went like I can't trust you and I can't forgive you anymore. And today he came up to me he said I will give you last chance that you should change yourself and never do this staff again. What he need is he giving me last chance to change myself for him I have to prove it. What I need help with is should I say I will change myself for you because of the mistake I did or I should say no because I haven't done a big mistake to punish me in a bad way?? Please I need to know what to do because I love him and I can't live with out him :(

Devorameira · Oct 10, 2010, 06:09 AM

You said your boyfriend said he couldn't trust you or forgive you anymore. What has happened in the past for him to think you're untrustworthy?

IF indeed all you did was give your phone number to a church member, then I think your boyfriend is being controlling and unreasonable. If that's the case, then I'd move on without him. You don't need someone that makes mountains out of molehills... your life would be miserable with him.

talaniman · Oct 10, 2010, 06:20 AM

hmmm I didn't really mean what I did I saw someone from the church and he wanted to talk to me but i didn't had time so he said i wanna tell u information about something and i said not now and he asked me for my number and i gave it to him
But he's only someone from the church but my boyfriend got mad on me and he said that he can't forgive me and he can't trust me anymore( :'(

You have nothing to change, or feel bad about at all and do not deserve his bad behavior. Stand up for yourself to this bully and tell him to get over himself, and hit the road, because you will not allow him to treat you badly, over NOTHING but his own warped way of thinking. Tell him to grow up and at least act like a caring loving man, because you have no time for his BS!! Then walk away.

When you allow bad behavior, that's exactly what you will get!

DoulaLC · Oct 10, 2010, 07:58 AM

Do Not go back to him. He is trying to control your behaviour. You did nothing wrong... he has made it out to be something horrible. I would wonder whether HE has something to hide if he got so bothered by a guy at your church wanting to tell you something.

If he can't trust you after something like that, tells you that he will give you one more chance, and that you have to "prove" you are trustworthy, why would you want to be with him? Why do you give him so much control over you and how you feel?

You said yourself that your upbringing was not the best, you didn't feel people were there for you and that you have poured all of that need into your boyfriend. That's not love... that's desperation. I bet you give, give, give... what do you get in return?

You felt family wasn't there for you and now you are paniced that he won't be there for you either. You are clinging onto him and he is feeding into that need by manipulating you and the relationship.

You are like a puppet and he is controlling the strings!

Take back your life girl! You need to be strong and confident in yourself, by yourself, before you can be in a relationship that will be healthy for you. He has done you a favour. You are now free to get strong.

Learn from this relationship... learn how you want to be treated by someone, how you deserve respect, trust, and true caring. It's time you start receiving some!

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 13, 2010, 06:38 AM

Soooo he is... hs already controlling me by making love him more and more than anything and everything and even more than my life :(

BrOkEn_StAr · Oct 13, 2010, 06:41 AM

:( but he's my only person who I feel safe and I feel good and I feel that I have feeling and I have life when I'm next to him :( I need something that makes me t leave him but I have to make me to hate me first because I don't want to hurt him

But I will be always in his loooooooove :((

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