[hausisse]

I haven't met him in real life, but we do have plans to do so this December- that's when he gets a break. Military college and all.
I know him through friends who have met him in person, and we've talked through webcam etc. We actually had been talking previous to his showing a romantic interest in me.

But really, I do think this is a relationship I can and would like to pursue. I've had my doubts, but- I'm not afraid to commit myself to someone, especially someone who would so willingly commit myself to me and we get along so well.

It's just... I used to worry so much about whether we would work out (I'm quite the worrier) and now that I'm not worried constantly I'm afraid it means my feelings for him have changed. Granted, I haven't seen him face-to-face since last week over webcam, and I have been told that many people in LDRs become concerned that they've fallen out of love with their partners (not that I think I can call what I have with him, ony having known him for a few months, "love"). I'm just afraid of not caring, I suppose. Does not thinking about him all the time mean I care for him less? :/


You're right, Talaniman, thank you, too :)

[DoulaLC]

Sorry, hadn't seen that your post was moved to a follw-up from before. Read back through them... :)

I don't believe that not thinking about him all the time means you care any less. You are probably just more comfortable with the situation now. Some of the spark of the newness has worn off, which is to be expected. It happens in every relationship. There will be times where you feel the spark of excitement again when you have talked to him, or anticipate talking to him, and there will be times where you are just humming along, doing your own thing. The point is that you reconnect once in awhile, that you do still feel that excitement now and then when you think of him.

I think you are moving along just fine. Not rushing things, not being overly committed, being aware of the unique challenges your situation holds.

Try not to overthink things... easier said than done I know... (I do the same thing! )
Continue to enjoy chatting with him, looking forward to spending time with him in person, but also continue to enjoy time spent with friends and family.

[hausisse]

Doula, thank you SO much, that is THE most useful piece of advice I've received about this situation! It's hard, because so many people my age have such over-romanticized views of love, they think they should feel butterfies 24/7. I know that's not realistic, and I just needed to be reassured that I am indeed approaching the situation rationally. So thank you thank you thank you!!