[talaniman]

We will have to wait and see how it plays out. Only you can know how any changes effect you. Or her for that matter.

[Geoffersonairplane]

Hi Kevin,

Here is my opinion on things..

yea i think u guys are right...she does kind of smother me but shes very considerate of my feelings and i see that...i think i get a little scared of commitment when she does...cuz i dunt want to get hurt again

I can understand why you feel scared of commitment having been hurt before.

well i was really hurt about 3-4 yrs ago...i thought i loved this girl...and she said she liked me too...but later on i found out she liked my friend and she didnt even tell me...so i was kinda depressed for about 2 yrs...im a lot better now...but for some reason...i still feel kinda of depressed because im not happy with myself...thats another issue im dealing with and may have an effect on my relationship...cuz im alwayz thinking the worst...

I am not a psychologist but it sounds to me like the past is affecting your ability to trust because of the hurt you felt. After being hurt like you were, it is normal to be very prudent in future relationships. It is like a defense mechanism that kicks in to help protect you from the possibility of being hurt again. This is most likely the reason you find it difficult to tell her you love her because by doing so, you are letting your guard down and this is a very dangerous position for you to be in. As I say, this is a normal reaction but it is not necessarily that healthy because it is affecting your current relationship and this is not good.

I agree with tal and I would recommend that you seek counseling to work through these problems and issues. There is nothing wrong with this and these people can give more insight and guidance to help you work through all of the problems. I think that this would definitely be a positive move for you and could help save this relationship from any future problems caused by these fears that you have..

All the best..

[rol]

<<hey... I talked to my girlfriend... I think the main reason is because she said I love you too much... is that a reasonable reason for my negative feelings?. I told her that and she agreed>>

I don't know if someone saying I love you too much should be a reason for your negative feelings? I reckon now she may feel a bit upset and may not say it at all... so this could make her feel a bit distant with you...
I think the sooner you talk to someone about your problems the better as right now this girl is involved and will likely get hurt in the process.

How long have you been with this girl?

[kevin2006]

<<hey...i talked to my girlfriend...i think the main reason is because she said i love u too much...is that a reasonable reason for my negative feelings?...i told her that and she agreed>>

I dont know if someone saying i love you too much should be a reason for ur negative feelings?! I reckon now she may feel a bit upset and may not say it at all....so this could make her feel a bit distant with you...
i think the sooner you talk to someone about your problems the better as right now this girl is involved and will likely get hurt in the process.

How long have you been with this girl?

I've been with her for about 8 months now... when I told her she says I love you too much.. she agreed... n now she doesn't say it as much... most of the time she does say it, is when I say it...