[LBP]

But what about breakups that seem to occur for specific reasons such as distance? I know one guy in particular who lived apart from a woman for ten years, ran into her later and has now been married to her for fifteen!

Not every rule is hard and fast...

[talaniman]

There are constants though, for example if you are healthy you can make better decisions based on facts and not JUST on emotion. And life is not always fair and you cannot control anyone but yourself. Most of your life will be governed by how you handle what life throws at you.

[origins13]

I personally think that once we've decided NC, then we should not have any further agenda but just one thing - to move on.

This is of course easier said than done.

I have tried NC for few months already. It hurts every time when I have to tell my ex to stop contacting me and leave me alone. A part of me am scared that I'll lose him forever and yet I knew I have lost him already the minute he broke up with me and started seeing someone else.

NC surely makes your ex misses you and wants to contact you, at least it happens in my case. My ex still calls me from time to time, telling me how much he misses me and that he still has strong feelings for me. I guess it's nice to hear those sweet talks. But after several times learning that nothing has changed, he's still with someone else, it just puts me back to square one and hurts further. I don't blame him. I just blame myself for giving myself false hopes.

Game plan / strategy is tiring. Relationship shouldn't be this troublesome, right?

[4answers]

After a period of no contact and or relationships in between, you bump into an ex from ages ago and the ex wants you back.

Question: So why did you end it ? They don't answer!

I am sure this has happened to others, Why does someone do this ? They bump into you and remember the good things about you and want to be in a relationship with you.

So why not sort out the problems/ issues when it matter. Ie in the relationship. Surly they must know that the actions of ending a relationship with someone will kill of that persons feelings for them!! Then to here them say, but I just want someone to love me... Eh !

They had that, gave it up, hurt someone who loved them. So clearly that statement is a lie, because they don't want that.

Has anyone experienced something similar and what did the ex say ?

[Jiser]

Well me and my EX broke up three times. The first time she wanted space and she came back within a week, the 2nd god knows haha. So we got lovy dovy str8 away each time but It didn't work out, hence why I am here.

I really don't know if I would ever have mine back. I probably would but it would go so slow and she would have to make tonnes of effort. I know I have learnt a lot! ARGH I was so clingy and dependent on her - yuck!

In regard to them wanting to try again: The thing is maybe they have to get away from the relationship instead of working on the issues - perhaps its because of their age/experience in life? Who knows. They may need the space and time to think about what they want from life and take a step back. Once something has gone, something good - maybe they would realize what they lost and want it back. But in reality its to late by then, for our sakes.

[sypher373]

Ive got a question to add to this...

Say an ex does come back, they wanted space, had their space, and realized what they had lost. They want to begin a new relationship with an old partner as they realized they had what they wanted all along...

My question is this...

Being the one who was dumped, would it matter what happened between the time you were not together? Would you even want to know if he/she was with someone else, what they did, how far it got? Would you feel as if you were cheated on, even though it ocured outside of the relationship?

[dreamguy]

Nice essay. But do give credit to where you got this. I've read this exact same thing on another site.

I believe the site he got it from was the lost guide to the no contact policy at the following site. I've read it before there. Lost's guide really helped me a lot.

The Lost Guide to No Contact V5 - LoveShack.org Community Forums

[BlazingCold]

I believe the site he got it from was the lost guide to the no contact policy at the following site. I've read it before there. Lost's guide really helped me alot.

The Lost Guide to No Contact V5 - LoveShack.org Community Forums

That's a good site too!