[QLP]

Perhaps the most sensible action, for your own peace of mind at this point, is to back off a little and give yourself some breathing space.

You seem to have jumped into this relationship with incredible intensity and seem to expect too much of it, yourself and of her.

I go back to my original point in my previous post - and I know that this is not necessarily of any solace to you - but it's only been 4 months.

You can't expect of a 4 month relationship, what you might expect of a 4 year relationship. The level of analysis and expectation you're applying to your connection with this girl may be driving her away.

My now husband, was incredibly intense in the first year of our relationship, so much so that I had to ask him to back off, or I would have had to run away myself! I felt overwhelmed by him and I felt as if I didn't have the personal space to respond to his expectations and his desire/love/commitment to me.

It may well be that your GF likes you less than you like her - but I wonder if your intensity and the 'too much too soon' scenario has prompted her to distance herself? She may be feeling overwhelmed as well, and in need of some personal space. I suspect you do to.



Try to understand that there are 2 people in a relationship with feelings and expectations, so that things will never be simple, or as you see them. Your 'benchmark' may not be the other persons - she may want to be elsewhere if she's feeling lost, hurt or overwhelmed. This is her way of coping, and is no reflection on you or the relationship.

Why don't you let her 'be' for a little while and try to stop worrying? I know, easier said that done!

Agree - sometimes to communicate effectively we need to give the other person space to work out what their thoughts and feelings are. (would have just greenied this but got to 'spread the rep')

[lrr1243]

Are you sure she was getting off just fine in the beginning with no foreplay? Isn't there a decent chance she was faking in the beginning, and then became more assertive as she got to know you?

Out of curiousity, how long is the "incredible amount of time" you allocate to foreplay?

[Synnen]

What is with resurrecting old threads today?

CLOSED!