[Kitkat22]

Wow man u hit everything right on the head. I can't imagine my life without her, and to hear you call her my ex is heart wrenching. I always felt like me and her were always meant to be. A part of me feels like I owe her my life, because I feel like she saved me from drugs and the street. We saved each other and it really made me feel as if we'd be together forever. I never thought of this the way you put it, that the signs were fate's way of saying our purposed was fulfilled. It makes sense, painful sense, but sense nonetheless. At the same time, I wish I had never met her. Then I wouldn't have to feel this bad.

Time... that's all you have to do is give yourself time to mend. It won't be easy but it will get better... Hugs:)

[adro_is_hurting]

I think you go 100%no contact,including updates on her life from family and her friends.

I know it sucks,and you're hurting,but honestly,why take a break-if the relationship is solid,any misunderstandings and problems are worked out within the relationship,you dont go on breaks.

This is exactly what I told her. That adults who really want to make it work will talk it out and fix it. She kept saying break this and break that. I know I got to go 100% NC but its hard when at one point all we wanted to do was be with each other and nothing else. I made the mistake of making her my everything. I believe in karma. In the beginning I was the one pushing her away and not wanting to hang out. But it was before we fell in love, Im not excusing it but it's the truth. Now that our relationship grew, she's doing to me what I did to her before.

[Kitkat22]

This is exactly what i told her. That adults who really wanna make it work will talk it out and fix it. She kept saying break this and break that. I know i gotta go 100% NC but its hard when at one point all we wanted to do was be with each other and nothing else. I made the mistake of making her my everything. I believe in karma. In the beginning I was the one pushing her away and not wanting to hang out. But it was before we fell in love, Im not excusing it but its the truth. Now that our relationship grew, shes doing to me what i did to her before.

Move on sweetie... who knows what the future holds?:)

[adro_is_hurting]

You are a nice, nice young man and I hate to see nice people being used.

There are probably a hundred girls out there who would love to go out with you.

Break up with her and start slowly seeing other girls. Sometimes women don't know what they have till it's gone and call me Kit.:)

Im not going to lie, I know I'm a nice guy. But sometimes I think Im nice to a fault. Many people mistake kindness for weakness and take advantage of you and use you. I feel really used right now. I know eventually it'll get better, but like I said I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I know this is going to take a long time Kit. I don't know if I can break it off with her yet, I feel as if I talk to her right now I still will be very emotional and break down. Wish I could speed up the clock...

[Kitkat22]

Im not gonna lie, I know im a nice guy. But sometimes i think Im nice to a fault. Many ppl mistake kindness for weakness and take advantage of you and use you. I feel really used right now. I know eventually it'll get better, but like I said i wear my emotions on my sleeve. I know this is going to take a long time Kit. I dont know if I can break it off with her yet, I feel as if I talk to her right now I still will be very emotional and break down. Wish i could speed up the clock.....

Go running.. go to the gym... :)

[amicon]

You still have to carry on with your life, your work and education.

You need to get your life back on track and move forward.

Personally, if someone were to ask me for a break,and dictating the rules for this so called break,I'd be gone.

[Kitkat22]

You still have to carry on with your life, your work and education.

You need to get your life back on track and move forward.

Personally, if someone were to ask me for a break,and dictating the rules for this so called break,I'd be gone.

I agree with Amicon... You're waiting for her to ask you back... Don't count on it. Get on with your life.:)

[adro_is_hurting]

You still have to carry on with your life, your work and education.

You need to get your life back on track and move forward.

Personally, if someone were to ask me for a break,and dictating the rules for this so called break,I'd be gone.

Im trying really really hard to get my life back on track. I graduate from college this June with a degree in HR management and corporate management. This should be the happiest time in my life, instead its probably one of the saddest times of my life. Ironic huh?

She didn't dictate the rules. I asked her if she knew how breaks work, and said no. So I told her the break was all hers so she needed to come up with how it worked. She said no physical interaction, limited communication (I knew id go into NC right away though), and we stay true to each (meaning not seeing other people).

I agree with Amicon...You're waiting for her to ask you back....Don't count on it. Get on with your life.:)

Yea I know I'm waiting for her to come back to me, and it gets easier everyday that passes. Even it the change is so small you need a microscope to see the change, it does get easier. Somedays I feel hella strong and Im happy for a little while, but other days I feel really weak and want to grab my phone and hit her up. Reading other people's stories and interacting with others who are at various stages of this hella helps though. Thanks everyone for trying to help me, talking is how I cope. I don't really have many close friends who I can go to and vent to, she was one of the only ones I felt comfortable with doing this to. So thank you guys.

[amicon]

That's what I mean by 'her' rules.
And you're supposed to stick to them?
Waiting around in limbo?

For two months?

To my mind a 'clean' break up is more honest,at least mostly people know where they are with that and can start picking up the pieces and move on.

[Kitkat22]

Thats what I mean by 'her' rules.
And you're supposed to stick to them?
Waiting around in limbo?

For two months?

To my mind a 'clean' break up is more honest,at least mostly people know where they are with that and can start picking up the pieces and move on.

You have us!:D

[adro_is_hurting]

Thats what I mean by 'her' rules.
And you're supposed to stick to them?
Waiting around in limbo?

For two months?

To my mind a 'clean' break up is more honest,at least mostly people know where they are with that and can start picking up the pieces and move on.

Yea this is totally unfair for me, as I did not do anything to induce the break. I didn't do her wrong, always let her do whatever, stayed true, and gave her my all. I want another chance to talk to her though. Not to try to convince her to come back, but to at least let her know she can't play people like this. She has to realize that she can't treat people like this, humans have feelings. So then maybe at least another guy won't be in the same boat as me.

[vanheart]

Dude, same thing happened to me.
I treated my ex lie a queen.

One thing Ive learned is that after she dumped me, she didn't deserve anything else from me.

She might learn, might not. But certainly not up to you to tell her.

Why are you worried about her next guy anyway. That's crazy.

Just focus on you, not her.

[talaniman]

I totally agree with the others, and would simply disappear and do my own thing and let her figure it out on her own. Her terms are unacceptable, and don't deserve agreement or rejection. Simply disappear and look forward.

That what wearing your heart on a sleeve gets you, so put it away in a safe place, and protect it, until someone who deserves it comes along. She does NOT so to hell with her rules. Leave her alone, and ENFORCE your own.I guess its easy to see that I am not a nice guy, a good one if you let me be, but never nice!

[MyBrainIsMyDrug]

talaniman is 100% correct... I believe it was you who posted in my thread a few weeks ago... I'm a deep thinker with OCD and wear my heart on my sleeve... I just broke up with a girl I was with 3 different times throughout the past 8 years and believed there was something real there emotionally, and I still like to believe there was... HOWEVER... even though its ripped me apart for weeks even though I was the one who ended it, just because of the history...

I just like to remember WHY I broke up with her, and why it didn't work before... It is true that NC works wonders because after each time me and this girl broke up I went that route... she was the one who always tried to get ahold of me which made it akward, id just ignore it up until just before the 3rd time we got together... its very hard now to do NC because its still fresh but there's a reason its so highly suggested here, and that's BECAUSE IT WORKS!

You may feel like this is the only girl in the world for you and you can't find what you found in her in another person but YOUR WRONG... you'll find someone who's much better FOR YOU in every aspect... I look at "breaks" as a form of toying with someone's emotions, there's always some cop out excuse for them... DO NOT fall into that... listen to everyone in this thread and move on and forget about her, take this from someone who has tortured themselves day after day about a person who really isn't worth the time of day just due to past emotional attachment, its history and stuff that hurt should never be repeated...


I feel your pain man, and I'm not just saying that... I know what its like to be apart from the person you THINK meant the world to you... but wallowing about it and over thinking/analyzing things is not the route to go, nor is waiting to just get hurt again...


- block/delete her off face book
- block her e-mail address from your hotmail or whatever e-mail you use
- delete/block her on msn or any IM you use
- delete her phone number from your cell phone...
- delete or store away old messages from her, put away all the stuff you got from her... i.e. cards, presents, pictures of her, etc anything that reminds you of her
- don't talk or think to/about her, the more you talk about it the more you'll think about it, take that from someone with OCD (u can imagine how hard it is for me)

You'll find someone better, in the meantime focus on work and school and making new friends/bonds

[adro_is_hurting]

Dude, same thing happened to me.
I treated my ex lie a queen.

One thing Ive learned is that after she dumped me, she didnt deserve anything else from me.

She might learn, might not. But certainly not up to you to tell her.

Why are you worried about her next guy anyway. Thats crazy.

Just focus on you, not her.

Its not that I'm worried about her next guy, I just don't want anyone to feel the way I feel. Im such an unselfish person, its hella hard for me to be selfish. Even at a time right now when I have all the right to be selfish and probably should be selfish. How can you teach yourself to do something or give yourself something, when for your whole life you've been the one giving?

[vanheart]

She's gone. That's how.

You have to love & give to yourself first. Others come after.

[MyBrainIsMyDrug]

Oh one thing I forgot... dude do you think she is letting this bother her as much as its bothering you? That's an honest question... like do you think she's letting this pray on her mind and thinking in-depth and constantly like you are? I'm going to bet that the answer is no... you want to believe she may be... but honestly... if someone said 'they aren't SURE if they want to be with you' and they want a break and don't know if they want to be in a relationship... the chances are they already made up their mind they are just too much of a coward emotionally to be upfront about it... meanwhile your in misery because of someone else's inability to express themselves properly... when you REALLY think about that, you should be able to rationalize that your doing this to yourself for no reason... any person who will do something like that once will most likely do it again, in other words even IF she comes crawling back to you, your just prolonging your misery as opposed to finding someone you've never met before and know nothing about and building a brand new relationship from the ground up with them... you never know who you'll find out there, could be the best person you've ever met that you may pass up because of dwindling feelings for something that was

[vanheart]

Again very true Brain.

Were devastated & they have already moved on, probably way before.

Funny how that works when you have a broken heart.

[talaniman]

She's gone. That's how.

You have to love & give to yourself first. Others come after.

Quote by MBIMD,
You never know who you'll find out there, could be the best person you've ever met that you may pass up because of dwindling feelings for something that was

Well said, straight to the point, and no BS in between.

[Kitkat22]

I agree with Van and Talaniman.