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talaniman · Feb 14, 2010, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by mgoblue

But in my heart I feel like we will end up together again somewhere down the road, I mean we are only 20. But yes I really am starting to move on now even after just 3 days of NC. It's amazing how well it works lol.

Most people after they have gotten over a break up, find other options and opportunities to pursue. Strange how healthy people want to move forward and not go back over old ground, that didn't work before.

mgoblue · Feb 14, 2010, 04:32 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Start with forever, and see what happens.

Good idea. We will see what happens, I appreciate all the advice talaniman.

Kitkat22 · Feb 14, 2010, 04:35 PM

It's hard when trust is broken by someone you have given your heart too. I think there's a girl out there who is your soulmate and you'll meet her some day. I wish you the best.

mgoblue · Feb 14, 2010, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Most people after they have gotten over a break up, find other options and opportunities to pursue. Strange how healthy people want to move forward and not go back over old ground, that didn't work before.

Well obviously I'm not over her yet. I am definitely on that path though. I don't know, I'm going tokeep to NC and see what happens. And I'll keep you all updated as it plays out.

mgoblue · Feb 14, 2010, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

It's hard when trust is broken by someone you have given your heart too. I think there's a girl out there who is your soulmate and you'll meet her some day. I wish you the best.

Wow, I couldn't have agreed with your 1st sentence more. Absolutley 100% how I have been feeling inside. Thanks a ton for your advice and support.

Kitkat22 · Feb 14, 2010, 04:44 PM

You will find the right path. I know you will.

mgoblue · Feb 14, 2010, 11:37 PM

Just thought if this... we dealt with this for a day she said she still had some feelings for her ex. I told her not to talk to me until those were gone, she eventually said she did get over them after a couple days and I came back to her.

Could she possibly be having them feelings for him again come back and need to figure that out too?

I've brought it up to her many times before and she promised me she wasn't going to talk to him or ever want to be back with him and I believe her. This is just a possibility I have thought could potentially have happened...

redline24 · Feb 15, 2010, 01:54 AM

I think the best advice has already been said in this thread. What you need to do, is try to stop wondering about the variables. No matter what any of us may say, only she will know for sure what she is feeling.

Spending your days wondering about the "what if's", and trying to find patterns in old behavior will be completely counter-productive with trying to move on. The best thing you can do is try to keep her off your mind, and just enjoy everything else in life.

One excellent thing about a post-breakup period is it gives you a HUGE opportunity to evaluate yourself. Is there anything you want to work on improving? Maybe your health, a skill, the way you dress or don't dress, who knows. All I know is, being single can be considered a gift. You get to spend that time with the one person who knows you better than anyone ever will - you.

It's time to move on, but also time to let go as well. Keep your head high, because not only will time heal all wounds, but the journey always gets better.

Kitkat22 · Feb 15, 2010, 05:25 AM

Time to let go. You are the one who has to be strong enough to move on and realize she isn't the one.

Yosomoton213 · Feb 15, 2010, 05:36 AM

Usually, those people that jump to and from relationships (men and women are both guilty of this) have low self-esteem to begin with, and only feel that they can live with having "someone", with no regards to how good that someone is, or even how they feel about that certain someone.

Harshness warning: There is a pretty large possibility that you were "used" in the above manner. Your feelings for her might have been true. In the words of the commentator of the famous hot-dog eating contest, "the passion is raw, but the hot dogs are cooked".

You seem like a stand-up guy. Keep yourself from getting used like this. The easiest way to do this, for the moment, would be to cut all ties with the ex, as she has got to figure a lot of stuff out for her own.

Chalk this one up for experience, and don't cry in your beer about it. You're young with a whole life of adventures, romances, and possibly more heartbreaks ahead of you, but that's life.

Kitkat22 · Feb 15, 2010, 05:53 AM

Give yorself time to accept the fact that it is over. You'll be okay.

mgoblue · Feb 23, 2010, 02:35 PM

Threads merged again

We have been broken up for over 2 weeks. We haven't talked much, if at all recently since the break up.

Ex girlfriend asks me out of the blue if I am talking to another girl. What was her reason for this?

Devorameira · Feb 23, 2010, 02:41 PM

Why don't you ask her? Could you provide a few more details?

How long of a relationship was it?

What type of relationship was it?

Why did you break up?

Kitkat22 · Feb 23, 2010, 02:43 PM

She wants to keep you hanging on!

mgoblue · Feb 23, 2010, 02:47 PM

Both of us are 20 years old. We dated for 3 months, talked for about a month before we started dating but had known one another for about 6 month total.

She broke up with me because she has leaned heavily on a boyfriend since she was 15 and says she needs to be alone for a while and figure out who she is.

She also has a serious eating disorder that she is beginning to try to get over.

Yeah I did ask her why she was asking this and she said it was because of something I posted on Facebook that I also posted when me and her first started hanging out/dating. She said she was just wondering if I was talking to another girl or not. It was definitely confusing to me.

mgoblue · Feb 23, 2010, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

She wants to keep you hanging on!

Lol I remember you. Yeah well we bascially went to NC. I was always the first one to talk to her. Then when we went a while without talking she asked me that then asked me how I was doing. She confuses the hell out of me sometimes. :confused:

Kitkat22 · Feb 23, 2010, 02:56 PM

Twenty years old.You have your whole life ahead of you. Maybe she needs you as friend. If you could be friends! Is that possible? Are you dating someone else now? Try to remain friends and stop posting anything about her on face book. She sound like she thinks of you as a good friend.

mgoblue · Feb 23, 2010, 02:59 PM

I don't know. I have began to finally accept that if we do get back together it won't be for a while until she is fine with herself.

I have talked to another girl from back home (we are both at college) a little and told her I'm not talking to anyone else, I'm just talking a little to a girl I went to high school with.

I really don't know if I could be friends with her right now. I still haven't moved on, and neither has she. She admits it is going to take her a long time to move on.

So would you say she wants me to keep me hanging on and wait for her?

I have begun the process of moving on, I have no idea why she would throw this on me now.

Kitkat22 · Feb 23, 2010, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by mgoblue

I really dont know if i could be friends with her right now. I still havent moved on, and neither has she. She admits it is going to take her a long time to move on.

Then ,listen to the advice these people on this forum have given you. You are on forum with some of the most intelligent people anywhere. They are specialist in their area of education.They can give advice about anything and they know what they are talking about. I'm not an expert just a mom who has dealt with seeing ths break-up, heartbroke, "I'll never love again."But they got over the hearbreak.. Good Luck

Kitkat22 · Feb 23, 2010, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by mgoblue

So would you say she wants me to keep me hanging on and wait for her?

I have begun the process of moving on, i have no idea why she would throw this on me now.

Being[able to move on, one has to learn to forgive not only the person (or people) who have done one wrong but also oneself ~ Eugenia Tripputi