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teastalk · Feb 26, 2010, 08:44 PM

Unfortunately, I broke down and sent a message saying "Stop bothering me, I will not answer you again."

It does make me feel a lot better now that I have blocked him on AIM as well as the other chat application I use. However, I will still see him at meetings and we will see how that goes in the coming week.

justcurious55 · Feb 26, 2010, 08:50 PM

That's OK. You've made it clear that you don't want to talk to him. If he continues harassing you, you really need to get some adults involved. Either your parents, or whoever is leading the activities you both participate in. or even both.

teastalk · May 30, 2010, 06:21 PM

If anyone else is wondering about this same issue... just tell the person who is harassing you to stop bothering you, and they should follow your orders. After I told him to stop bothering me, I haven't heard from him since. However, I still see him at meetings because he now regularly attends the same functions as I do. I really hate it, but there is nothing that I can do about it. I'll just have to bear it.

justcurious55 · May 30, 2010, 06:26 PM

Glad to hear he's finally gotten the message. Does he still bother you during the meetings? Or is he leaving you alone there too?

teastalk · May 30, 2010, 06:40 PM

Hi justcurious55, I am also glad that he has stopped sending me emails and texts.

He doesn't say anything to me at the meetings. I try not to look at him or talk to him. However, when I am looking at someone and he is just behind that person, I can see him looking at me. Otherwise, in all respects he has stopped bothering me as requested.

The thing that makes me upset about him attending the functions is that I remember that in one of his messages he was like, "everyone has to know that you've abused me." I think what made me the most angry was his false accusation and threat that he was going to say something so crazy to everyone. I think I am am still feeling threatened by his message and that is what is what makes me angry.

Anyway, thanks for everyone's help on this issue! Everyone's advice was really helpful.

justcurious55 · May 30, 2010, 06:55 PM

Unfortunately, throughout your life you're likely to come across others that will make false accusations against you. It doesn't sound like you've ever actually abused him from what you've told us here. So let him go on with his accusations. Others will see they're false too. I'd continue no contact. If he's being quiet for now, there's no reason to provoke him.

friend4u178 · May 30, 2010, 07:42 PM

False accusations are generally dished out by bitter people , and in my experience they have a reputation for this through there past/present actions.

I wouldn't sweat it , laugh it off if it does happen which it possibly won't. Because people see who the liar is in the long run.

Glad everything worked out and he's at least leaving you alone now :)

Jake2008 · May 30, 2010, 07:47 PM

I'm not so sure this is over yet.

His messages almost sound threatening to me.

It may be a good idea to speak to your parents if you haven't already. Ask your father to call his father as has already been suggested. If your father is uncomfortable with that, have him pick you up at school, and speak to the principal about this matter.

That he makes you so uncomfortable, and so far hasn't taken 'no' as enough reason to stop his behaviour, it may be time to take more steps.

Make a copy of the last email to him telling him to stop calling you, and give that to the Principal as well.

I would trust my gut on this one. You may not be able to say that he is dangerous, or stalkish, or doing anything other than being an idiot, but the truth is you never dated him, never encouraged him to contact you, and certainly never expected him to threaten to tell people lies in order to get you to respond to him. (negative responses to some are better than no response at all).

Because you are both essentially strangers to each other, I would treat him as such, and find his behaviour intimidating.

Let him answer for his actions, perhaps by taking more action. Best to let him get the message loud and clear from an official at school, rather than risk running into him 'accidentally' while on your way home some night on your own. If he knows you are not keeping a 'secret' with him, by breaking what he sees as a connection by telling someone in more authority about what he has done, he would be more likely to stop.

My guess is you aren't the first one.

justcurious55 · May 30, 2010, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

I'm not so sure this is over yet.

His messages almost sound threatening to me.

It may be a good idea to speak to your parents if you haven't already. Ask your father to call his father as has already been suggested. If your father is uncomfortable with that, have him pick you up at school, and speak to the principal about this matter.

That he makes you so uncomfortable, and so far hasn't taken 'no' as enough reason to stop his behaviour, it may be time to take more steps.

Make a copy of the last email to him telling him to stop calling you, and give that to the Principal as well.

I would trust my gut on this one. You may not be able to say that he is dangerous, or stalkish, or doing anything other than being an idiot, but the truth is you never dated him, never encouraged him to contact you, and certainly never expected him to threaten to tell people lies in order to get you to respond to him. (negative responses to some are better than no response at all).

Because you are both essentially strangers to eachother, I would treat him as such, and find his behaviour intimidating.

Let him answer for his actions, perhaps by taking more action. Best to let him get the message loud and clear from an official at school, rather than risk running into him 'accidentally' while on your way home some night on your own. If he knows you are not keeping a 'secret' with him, by breaking what he sees as a connection by telling someone in more authority about what he has done, he would be more likely to stop.

My guess is you aren't the first one.

You know jake, you reminded me a guy I went to high school with. There was this one guy who just would not stop bothering me. I always try to be nice, especially when I first meet people. He had taken my being nice as a sign I was interested. And when I told him I wasn't, he didn't like that. We went from getting to know each other as friends to him trying to tell me we were going out because he was a man and he said so and then to telling me that I was racist and to stop being racist (I really didn't care about his skin color, but I was like 13? Not really looking for a boyfriend.) I hadn't wanted to get any adults involved but it finally got to the point that I did tell my vice principals. I was so relieved after. Turns out they'd had issues with him harassing other girls too. After I left their office, they got him and the campus cop in there and told him to leave me alone or they'd be filing a restraining order on my behalf. He left me alone finally after that.

aimee_tt · May 30, 2010, 08:43 PM

I have had a guy stalk me like this... I used to work with him and he also took my being nice as taking an interest to him. I told him I just wanted to be friends and he took this as playing hard to get.

He sent me flowers if I got angry at him... I saw him drive past my house. He would tell people at work that I was seeing him on the sly. He also told me that he would change his religion for me.

He would not take NO for an asnwer! I tried to stop talking to him but its hard when you work with the person. Until one day he exploded (found out I had a boyfriend)and told me never to talk to him again (which I did gladly). Everynow and again he would try to message me or get me on Facebook. But id ignore him.

I found out a few months ago he was engaged. I thought finally he will leave me alone, but of course 2 weeks after I find out he starts trying to get in contact with me again.

Some guys take a while to get over things. Just keep ignoring him. He will eventually get over it. If your like me might take 3 years LOL