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Originally Posted by friend4u178
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2 women and a man are standing by a fast river when the grim reaper comes says to them that either they cross the river or he kills them, the first women dives in an d drowns immedietly. The second women jumps in and makes it half way across but drowns. The grim reaper says to the man, now what will you do, and the man says, I'll go across the bridge.
Why did God make woman last? He didn't want someone telling him what to do. Why do women get married in white? So they match the kitchen appliances! What's the difference between your wife and your dog? Walking the dog is relaxing. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes." The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Phoof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates. What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why. (Adam Ferrara) What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant. |
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@friend4u178- That was great... :D Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius. Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet. Q: How does a man take a bubble bath? A: He eats beans for dinner. Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds? A: Government bonds mature. Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework? A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum. Q: What is the thinnest book in the world? A: What men know about women. What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. What's the most effective birth control device for men. Their manners. What do you call a woman who works as hard as a man? Lazy. |
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Why are women so bad at mathematics? Because men keep telling them that this (make gap with thumb and forefinger) is 9 inches. What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women." What's the most effective birth control device for men. Their manners. What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room. What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner? When the power goes off. What are two reasons men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business. Why is a man different from a computer? You only have to tell the computer once. Why is a man like a snowstorm? Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex. HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN... Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN... Arrive naked... with beer... How do you know when a man is about to say something smart? When he starts his sentence with "A woman once told me ..." What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." |
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