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bjohnrupp · Dec 2, 2009, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by Newguy2009

bjohnrupp,

I did find out she was seeing someone else and I have the proof to back it up. When I confronted her about it she ignored me. Thats when I cut it off completely and went and got the car back that I gave her. (The car is in my name and I dont trust her to make the payments)

The only thing that sux now is that we own a house together and cannot refinance because the house will not appraise for full value. So now her credit will contnue to go up while I make the payments

Newguy2009- Oh man I feel for you. At least you had the proof- I am 99% sure she was seeing someone also but didn't have the proof which was hard for me to get being that she lived 1 1/2 hours from me. Yeah she ignored you because she was busted and guilty. Good thing you got the car back. That sux that you have the house together- we came very close to getting a house but I held off because she started getting shady on me. Can't you sell the house and move out?:cool:

Newguy2009 · Dec 3, 2009, 06:23 AM

bjohnrupp,

We have only had the house for 22 months and the guy next door just sold for 25k less than what we bought so we would have to short sale and lose money taking a hit on credit as well I believe. Not ideal at this point. We actually talked last night. I called because I wanted to talk to her about the house and let her know that I couldn't assume the house based on my income and that we would have to hold out and re-evaluate in 6 months to a year. I agreed to keep making the payments. It was a civil conversation and we actually talked for 2 hrs, mostly about what was going on in each of our lives, and to catch up because we haven't spoken in a month. She told me that there was nothing going on with the guy and that the messages on face book were "flirty" at most because she was trying to get over me. I actually believe her because I know her and she's really not that kind of person. I know, some might think I'm a sucker but this girl is really innocent when it comes to that kind of stuff, I know, I was with her 3 years and spent every moment with her, we even worked together. To make a long story short, there is still some chemistry between us and we even talked about a possibility of working things out in the future. We really did need a break because like I said, we were together 24/7, literally. I'm going to continue doing my thing and keeping busy and who knows, time will tell... Thanks for listening and I'm sorry everyone to change the subject on this board

bjohnrupp · Dec 3, 2009, 06:39 AM

Well listen man- best of luck to you. I really do hope you guys can work things out and get back together.

I know what you mean about taking a loss on the house- same thing with me. My neighbor had to sell her townhouse for 15,000 less. I couldn't take a hit on selling mine so I had to stay put and I couldn't move to my girls area. It caused a lot of grief.

Only you know how your conversation with your gf/ex-gf went so if you're saying it went good then maybe a break is all that's needed. Just be careful of false hope- prepare for the worst but for now I guess you could hope for the best. Just don't put your life on hold llike I did.

talaniman · Dec 3, 2009, 08:59 AM

Hate so say it, but your best advice will have to be from a legal mind, as even though your broken up, your finances are still very much attached.

See a professional who can help you verify the facts in your situation, Or at least get her off the mortgage, as why should she reap benefits from your hard work, and not be there contributing?

The hell with chemistry, its strictly about business now.

Newguy2009 · Dec 3, 2009, 11:55 AM

She offered to send me money but I declined. I want her to get her act together and work on herself. Ill be just fine. You are right about seeing a lawyer. Its funny because Im going to school right now for realestate law, I just haven't gotten to the realestate courses, just general law so far.

Im going to give it more time. I think she is starting to come to reality and that's what I want her to do. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Will keep you posted...

bjohnrupp · Dec 3, 2009, 04:17 PM

Wishing you good luck newguy!

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 08:42 PM

The best approach is to let it be. Don't worry about getting her back.

There's nothing to say.

Block her and have zero contact. That's really the only way.
Don't be "there" for her. She's not.

When someone wants a break its done. Sorry to say.

vanheart · Dec 4, 2009, 09:11 PM

Sorry, Im coming in late, but not really...

Like Tal says, get her signatures off any paperwork & roll.

And get off Facebook.

"Flirty" c'mon... As she's screwing you.