[WayBackHome]

The situation is NOT the same. In this thread, I wanted the girl to fall for me, or at least show some interest in me.

For the new thread I do NOT want this girl to fall for me. I don't remember precisely what I asked, but as I start to spend more time with her, I want to make sure she doesn't fall for me. I think I asked "is this even within my control?" or "is this even worth considering"?

Strangely enough, it just occurred to me that I can't control how she feels, so therefore there's no sense in worrying about it.

I don't have many girls in this situation. I'm just a young man experiencing dating.

[talaniman]

Deleted thread

I've been friends with this girl for most of my life. As of late, I've started to see her more often. I want to ensure that we stay just friends. How can I do this? Is this concern even within my control?

Undeleted

There's this girl I've been keeping in touch with. I asked her to meet up a few times, but she always turns me down. Why do I still think we can be friends?

At first glance, they appear the same but reworded, but to answer your question, no you have no control over the feelings of another, heck, as your finding out we have very little control over our own feelings, thus all the conflicts we face between what we know as facts and our feelings. I think the difference though is through experience we can control what we do about our feelings as we learn to cope better with them. As you have more of these experiences, you will learn more about yourself and handle them in a more mature way.

Sometimes its years before we can make the right adjustments to our thinking to be comfortable with what life throws at us. Think of these experiences as practice for the next time it happens to you.