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CanIBuyAClue · Oct 22, 2009, 04:16 PM

She's not going to respect you until you respect yourself. And quite frankly, having respect for yourself is more important than getting her back. As others have suggested, the first think you need to do is go NC. The second thing you need to do is NOT be her doormat. You may think that giving her your credit card to buy stuff is going to "win" her over, but it really just shows that you are weak and it won't change her decision. I know, I've been there... I had slacked on a gift I was going to get my ex, and after we broke up I gave her a gift card that I had won to go towards it (more or less because I felt I owed, which I kind of did / didn't, but a part of me thought it would help too). It won't help, look out for yourself and stop trying to control what other people are doing / feel for you. And ease off the suicide talk, nobody is worth that.

alexbeltre · Oct 24, 2009, 12:44 PM

She callme and wanted to slleep with me I went she said ahe did it cuase she fwlt bad but I'm still with her I love her. She is my life what can I do to not lose her I love her

alexbeltre · Oct 24, 2009, 12:49 PM

I can't stay away from her she is my life my happiness. How I can get her back,. I know I have done many thongs that are not right I give her money. Presents. I cry to her I have gotten on my knees just for her love I got to the point of saying that I don't want to leave. I love her she says that she does too but she wants some space so can figure out things. But she is still talking to this guy she met while I was a baseball practice. I love her. I want her back.

alexbeltre · Oct 24, 2009, 12:49 PM

Please help me

J_9 · Oct 24, 2009, 01:05 PM

Please be patient. This is not a chat room. We volunteer our free time here and many people may be working or spending time with family.

It may take a few hours or more to get a response.

I wish · Oct 24, 2009, 01:28 PM

The emotions are flying high right now. Allow yourself to heal so that you will feel more objective about your situation.

You're still in the early stage of the recovery process so it's normal to have these feelings. What you can do to help is to stick with no contact and be patient with yourself. There's no magic potion to heal.

Secondly, you can't force her to get back with you. If she wanted you back, she will find you. It's her choice. You can't "do" things to "win" her back.

talaniman · Oct 24, 2009, 03:06 PM

Before you ever get someone back, you have to get some dignity and self respect back. Begging never works. She will never miss that, but might want to get away from it.

This isn't the end of the world, stop acting like it. Now leave her alone all the way, till you can regroup, and get your act together.

jellyfish1981 · Oct 24, 2009, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by alexbeltre

I can't stay away from her she is my life my happiness. How i can get her back ,.. I know i have done many thongs that are not right i give her money. Presents. I cry to her i have gotten on my knees just for her love i got to the point of saying that i dont want to leave. I love her she says that she does too but she wants some space so can figure out things. But she is still talking to this guy she met while i was a baseball practice. I love her. I want her back.

I went through a slightly similar phase myself. My boyfriend wanted to break up and I was not ready to let go. After the initial begging I decided that its more important to have dignity and self confidence then love for which I have to beg. I told him I am fine with his decision since I have done all I could anyway. I let him be and I genuinely started to move on (doesn't mean I started dating but I started to take back the control over my life and stopped trying to control the relationship. He came back to me within a week's time saying that he wants to be with me and with no one and nowhere else. That was three years ago. We are still together. I don't know if this will work for you (hopefully it does when she sees that you are moving on) but even if she doesn't come back these thoughts will help you because once you have the self confidence you will know that everything will pass no matter how bad you feel right now.

Hope this helps

Gemini54 · Oct 24, 2009, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by alexbeltre

I can't stay away from her she is my life my happiness. How i can get her back ,.. I know i have done many thongs that are not right i give her money. Presents. I cry to her i have gotten on my knees just for her love i got to the point of saying that i dont want to leave. I love her she says that she does too but she wants some space so can figure out things. But she is still talking to this guy she met while i was a baseball practice. I love her. I want her back.

If you make someone else responsible for your life and happiness then you will always be sad and miserable.

By crying and pleading you give her all the power and take it all away from yourself. No woman loves a cry baby, so stop being a wimp and start being a man.

Take a deep breath, take a teaspoon of concrete and harden the F up. No one is responsible for your life or your happiness but yourself.

Caty1973 · Oct 24, 2009, 10:10 PM

I went through a hard patch like this a while ago. I know how you feel. The thing with me was that started taking days off work. I didn't feel like doing anything. Mind you for me it was a brake up. If you feel that you are having these thoughts. I would suggest you go see a medical doctor. A friend of mine took me when she saw I was so down. They understand because we are not the only ones to have felt anxiety like this. Go see one as soon as possible. They will be able to prescribe something mild that will help you deal better with this.

alexbeltre · Oct 25, 2009, 05:16 AM

As expected she is the love of my life. I did everything I could do for a week to get her back.. Bit I think she was seeing me for pity. She says she loves me. But that. She is interested. In that guy she just me. She also says that. She loves me a lot but. I have to give her time. And I told her to stop seeing. Everyone. Or the other guy too so she can think... She told me that. She was not. But I know she will she hides text messages from her and her cousing are pushing her Away from me. It feels. Like everyone is my enemy what. Can I do to get her back.? I love her I don't want to lose her :(:(:(

amicon · Oct 25, 2009, 06:45 AM

Alex you ve already been given a lot of good advice regarding this situation-will you please read it again?

jainarane · Oct 25, 2009, 06:56 AM

Don't look for someone else to love you. Look for what you love about yourself and if you find that you are happy within, you will notice that she probably doesn't deserve you. If you are reading this and saying that it is a bunch of bull, then you are not happy with yourself and you will rarely be happy with someone else. Figure out what it is that you don't like about you and realize that it is not too late to change. LOVE YOU and she will be begging you to let her back.

alexbeltre · Oct 30, 2009, 12:31 PM

I love this girl and would like to get back with her... but I haven't talked to her for a week she said that she needed space... before she told me that I bought some flowers which I haven't sent to her.. should I send it to he I love her.. so much I want her back in my life.. . some advice??

redhed35 · Oct 30, 2009, 12:34 PM

Is this the same girl you think is pregnant?

Your girlfriend?

Or is it someone else?

amicon · Oct 30, 2009, 12:39 PM

She asked for space,so no flowers.

talaniman · Oct 30, 2009, 12:41 PM

Leave her alone buddy!! And your threads have been merged but the next one on the same subject will be deleted. No need to start new questions when you can post on this thread.

Gemini54 · Oct 30, 2009, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Leave her alone buddy!!!! And your threads have been merged but the next one on the same subject will be deleted. No need to start new questions when you can post on this thread.

Jeez! If iIwas 'his girl' I'd be running for the hills. No wonder she wants space!

Alty · Oct 30, 2009, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by alexbeltre

i love this girl and would like to get back with her...... but i haven't talked to her for a week she said that she needed space ... before she told me that i bought some flowers which i haven't sent to her .. should i send it to he i love her .. so much i want her back in my life .. .some advice ???

You are slowly but surely becoming the boyfriend every girl fears, the stalker, the desperate pathetic guy that won't take "go away" for an answer.

You want her back but you're doing everything in your power to drive her away.

You say that you want her back in your life, that you love her so much. What about her? She has wants too, and she doesn't want you.

Back off, go to no contact. If she comes back then you can try again, if she doesn't then you'll eventually find someone else to love.

After reading all your posts I have to say, this isn't love, this is obsession and it's getting out of hand.

You need to get some help.

Reactor · Oct 30, 2009, 08:22 PM

Exactly. This is not love, this is obsession. I was guilty of it, most are.

Remember though, LESS IS MORE. The less you do, the more it speaks.

... and hang out with more male friends dammit.