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-   -   My girl developed feeling for someone else! What should ido. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=407479)

  • Oct 18, 2009, 09:50 PM
    alexbeltre
    My girl developed feeling for someone else! What should ido.
    There is the most beautiful girl in this planet. I love her so passionally that I will die for her. I play baseball and I go to the same school she goes to. One thing happened... I don't have as much time as I used to have to spend with her. Because the mentioned reasons. Now she started developing feelings for a different guy which is a "friend" she supposedly met in one of her classes. I love her so much that I will even kill myself... I have try so hard for more than 3 days to see what I did wrong she replies to me that she loves me. That she loves me and will never forget about me. But she is still talking to this guy and I don't know what to do... I don't want to lose her... should I do something to the guy... what should I doo please... help me... I will die if I don't get help quick...
  • Oct 18, 2009, 10:08 PM
    paxe

    Wait? What? Die? Am I reading this right?
    First off, how old are you?
    Secondly, you need to take a chill pill ASAP. Dying for a girl, please that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. No beauty in this world warrant that kind of action, and it is so superficial on top of that.

    Here is what you need to do, apply No Contact right now because it seems you have some problems getting attached to her. Also you need to see a counselor or a psychiatric as soon as possible, you need all the help you can get.
  • Oct 18, 2009, 11:09 PM
    alexbeltre

    I'm only 20 years old... but I've been dating her for like 1 year and 4 months... what other advice can you give me... please.. I love her man
  • Oct 18, 2009, 11:27 PM
    Gemini54
    I agree - chill out man! You want to kill yourself, you want to do something to the other guy... huh?

    Firstly, why don't you try talking to her? If she's your GF and you've been dating - I'm assuming you talk? Talk to her for heaven's sake - ask her what's happening and let her answer.

    Try and not act like a total desperado. You'll drive her away by acting sooooo deperate.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 01:41 AM
    alexbeltre
    This sounds better but when I talk to her she says that she is confused
  • Oct 19, 2009, 05:26 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by alexbeltre View Post
    This sounds better but when i talk to her she says that she is confuse

    So you leave her alone so you both can deal with your confusion. She is confused about another guy, you are confused about your life being worth anything... all over a female.

    Walk away and get your head straight.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 07:35 AM
    paxe

    By acting needy and desperate you WILL lose her. A man, a real man, keeps his cool no matter what. Not only will she find that attractive but all the girls will.
    Look, it's total bull to be crasy about her like that, I knew my ex 6 years and we dated 3 and I'm doing fine now. You should ask yourself why you are so dependent on her. Work out a bit, get your head straight.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 08:20 AM
    I wish
    You already had 1 year and 4 months together. So your feelings for her are pretty clear and she knows it.

    She's the one who's confused. So what do you do? I suggest you leave her alone until she figures out what she wants. You don't need to confuse her more.

    You also need some distance from her so that you can calm down. Some space would do both of you some good.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 10:08 AM
    alexbeltre
    Thank you this really helped
  • Oct 19, 2009, 01:22 PM
    paxe
    Yea and don't go all crasy and suicidal on us, you know its bs.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 01:48 PM
    talaniman
    Your 20, so don't let a confused female confuse you. Just back up, calm down, and get with your buds for a while, and just chill. Even if she doesn't get her act together the way you want, there are still other things to do that are a lot more fun than freaking out over a female.

    If you give yourself a chance, there will be a lot more females who are as cute, but not as confused.

    For now just chill.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 02:38 PM
    alexbeltre
    Now I can't stop thinking about that person. I have calm down but it is killing me in the inside.
  • Oct 22, 2009, 08:27 AM
    alexbeltre
    My girlfriend left me. Now she is calling. And asking and telling
    She is my love. She is my everything. For her. I love her. She recently said that she needed space I'm giving her some space but it is pretty hard for me to look at my cellphone. And not talk to her. I try to abstain. But I end it up sending a message at night I can't stop think of her I lover today. We had a class in the same building. And she told me she needed tools for her art class I gave my credict card to her so she can buy whatever she need then we had a small talk and told me we will talk in 2 day. Or weekend. I told her how much I love her. She said thatsge understand but I ask her if she feels the same way I feel about her ilove her I told her do you think this is a good sign that she will come back to me
  • Oct 22, 2009, 08:56 AM
    Romefalls19

    So let me get this straight, girl breaks up with you and then asks for a favor, you give her your credit card to get whatever she needs? Dude, are you mental? I understand you love the girl, but this is pathetic, she is now using you.

    There is an expression, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. She left you, still has you by the balls and your wallet as well. What reason does she have to come back? You are a safety net, nothing more. If something better doesn't come along, she will come back but for now she's going to play the field, with other guys.
  • Oct 22, 2009, 09:11 AM
    Enigma1999
    Hello Alex,

    I am trying to get a better understaning here. What did she say when you asked her how she felt about you, please?

    Thanks.
  • Oct 22, 2009, 09:15 AM
    amicon
    She s left you but she thinks you should fork out for things she needs in class? She s using you and the best thing you can do is ignore her.
    Actions speak louder than words and her actions show she has no decency nor any respect for you.
    Start treating this as a breakup and get yourself back on track.
  • Oct 22, 2009, 09:27 AM
    Cat1864
    Until they get merged: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-407479.html

    Alex, No Contact means just that-No Contact. You cut all ties including but not limited to: phone (yes, cell phones and other people's phones, too), texting, email, Facebook, Myspace, snail mail, smoke signals, etc. You STOP giving her permission to use you and any resources you have including but not limited: home, car, credit card, heart, mind, etc.

    You will feel much better if you get rid of this person and allow yourself to heal. It will hurt. It will not be easy. It will take time. It will be worth it when someday you find a woman who truly cares for you and not just what she can get from you.

    Keep yourself busy both mentally and physically. Make new friends. Enjoy being yourself instead of her marionette. You might be surprised at how good it can feel to finally declare yourself free.
  • Oct 22, 2009, 09:33 AM
    alexbeltre

    I want to accept. That I want to be free but this girl is my life I love her she is breaking my heart. How can I go about it so I can get better
  • Oct 22, 2009, 09:35 AM
    Romefalls19

    Read my guide to NC. "Rules and FAQs about NC"

    You delete her off your darn Facebook
    Delete her number off your phone
    Don't pick up the phone
    If you cannot do the two above, put your phone in a desk and forget it
    Don't be a doormat for her(ie giving her money)

    In short, take back your balls
  • Oct 22, 2009, 10:05 AM
    Cat1864
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by alexbeltre View Post
    I want to accept. That i want to be free but this girl is my life i love her she is breaking my heart. How can i go about it so i can get better

    This person is NOT your life. She is not responsible for keeping your heart beating and your brain functioning. YOU are responsible for your own life.

    Don't let her break your heart. IT is YOUR heart not hers.

    Rome has some great tips.

    Something, you need to do is to change your perspective of the relationship and her. You will not die without her. You will be much happier when you get her out of your life.

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