[jmjoseph]

I don't want to bust your heart shaped bubble, but dude, you are asking for help to steal some other guys GIRLFRIEND.

You hang out with them, and the whole time she thinks of you as a friend, and he thinks of you as in the way. No wonder he doesn't like for you to hang around, he picks up on the vibe that you're giving off. The smitten vibe.

You say that she has to be there for him, guess what? That's what people do in relationships. Whatever problems they have, is their business. You are using them as a wedge to inject yourself into her life.

I really don't want to be rude or harsh with you, but this is crossing the line. I believe you when you say you are naïve, and I don't want to see you get hurt. And by hurt, I don't mean emotionally. This guy may come after you with a ball bat if you don't watch it.

You think that she feels the same way too, but has she ever tried to kiss you, or even imply that she would like to be with you?

Go places where you can meet SINGLE girls, not necessarily bars either.

If one day they do indeed break-up, then there's your chance. But for now, she is off limits. Would you do the same things if she was MARRIED?

I wish for you luck and CONTROL.

You asked for suggestions, and there's mine.

[ilikemyhumanraw]

Yes!

Finally, a point blank answer... Jesus, Mary, and Joseph called a spade a spade!

(Hope you don't work for Frontier, their planes suck... Just sayin'... )

[jmjoseph]

Yes!

Finally, a point blank answer....Jesus, Mary, and Joseph called a spade a spade!

(Hope you don't work for Frontier, their planes suck...Just sayin'...)

No ours are as big as they get.

[Clough]

Hi, All!

Oh, I don't know...

When I was in college, I dated many women. When I asked any one of them for a date, they would let me know, yes or no. They were upfront with me if they were already in a committed relationship. I suspect here, that the girlfriend might be looking for someone else and/or other possibilities.

To me, if a person isn't married or proclaimed in some way that they're already committted to a relatioinship, then it's okay to approach them for the possibility of a relationship of some kind, whatever kind of relationship that might be.

As such, I think that more discovery as to what's really going on would be helpful as to how to proceed with advice.

Thanks!

[ilikemyhumanraw]

[QUOTE=Clough;2029772

As such, I think that more discovery as to what's really going on would be helpful as to how to proceed with advice.

Thanks![/QUOTE]

"I like a girl who has a Boyfriend" suffices for for what is really going on in my book. I know that not everything is black and white, but given the information, advice is like a "forecast" in weather conditions and predictions. You never know, but I would rather have a good advisory channel telling me not to travel that direction, if it can be avoided.

[Clough]

Hi, ilikemyhumanraw!

You're correct! Not everything is "black and white", and I would like to add, as far as making determinations based upon knowing all of the facts and circumstances are concerned.

Whether someone is truly available for dating can only be determined once the person has been asked if they are available or not.

The above evidently hasn't happened in this particular situation. Just because someone has one, apparent, significant other, doesn't mean that they're unavailable, especially if they haven't let others know that they're unavailable.

Thanks!

[Cat1864]

I refused a couple of times cause I know that the bf would be there. But once I came over and after everyone else left and the bf was sleeping in her room,

The boyfriend is very much in the picture if he is sleeping in her bed (I doubt he was on the bedroom floor and where did she sleep that night or other nights?) at any point in time.

She is in a relationship. Her boyfriend obviously believes they are in a relationship. Someguy even admits she is in a relationship with her boyfriend.

Someguy, at best she sees you as a friend. At worst, she is using you as a safety net for when she finally leaves her boyfriend.

To paraphrase what I said earlier, if she does this to him, what would she do to you? Would you like to be in the boyfriend's shoes as she plays games with another male?

[someguy229]

jmjoseph: I appreciate that direct answer and will take it to heart. I too am thinking sometimes (well most of the times) that what I am doing is wrong. About the question about implying to be with me, yes she did ask me quite a few times, but I avoided that question every time she asked.

Cat1864: About being in the boyfriend's shoes, I am very well aware that this kind of situation may happen if we both start going out. Thanks for the honest answer.


Well now I kind of understand of what you guys are saying and I thank you for your contributions. I will give this a long thought. I just want opinions and or personal experiences from people from friends to people here on the forum. Well thanks for the advices and I'll be going. Thanks again.

[Clough]

Hi again, someguy229!

You're going to get a wide variety of opinions on this site, from many different kinds of people. The range of ages and experiences here is very wide.

Since the two of you have become close, in one way or the other, if you do send a card to her, without it seeming like a love letter of any kind, but one of caring, her reaction to it might tell you a lot about what's really going on and how you might proceed in any direction.

Nothing wrong with sending cards and notes to friends is there?

Thanks!

[talaniman]

You are her emotional tampon, and she will not be ready for what you want even if she does break up with her b/f.

What's worse though is openly courting another guys girl. I know its tempting, seeing her b/f is a dud the way you see it, and you like her. But be aware her attachment to him, and how long it takes to get over them.

I don't think its right or realistic for you to think she will jump from one guy to another just to have someone, and if you do, and expect to be happy... your very wrong.

I think its your responsibility to back off, and let her deal with her issues, since you have an agenda to get with her.

That's not what friendship is about. That's what she needs, not another guy on her trail for romance.

I don't think she sees you as anything but a buddy, and her signals are misread by you. False hope does that.