[jmjoseph]

I've written a couple of questions regarding an ongoing situation I find myself in. But just a quick recap to help people with answering my question. I'm currently seeing a girl that I've been with for about a month now. We're taking things quite slow, but there is definitely something building (at least I have the impression it is). We're at a point where we are cuddling on the couch and flirting a lot, but we haven't kissed since the first date. After the first date she told me she wasn't sure if she was ready to start dating, however every time we've been together since then I get the opposite impression. The last time we got together I gave her a massage and we laid out on the couch with my arms around her and holding hands.

Recently I have been getting suspicious that she might be seeing other people. There was a bouquet of roses sitting on her table that I noticed last week while we were together. She is also getting constant IM alerts on her computer while we're hanging out, which she will sometimes get up to check if they get excessive. I see her ignoring other people, which is great while we're hanging out because I take it as a sign of respect and good manners. However I find that sometimes I'm the one being ignored when we're not together. I can't help but wonder if she is ignoring me because she is spending time with someone else the way she does with me. She also never talks about the things she does with her friends, other than vague details like 'oh we went out for dinner' or 'we watched a movie.' I just find this strange because when I talk about things I do with my friends I usually tell somewhat of a story. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or jealous, which I totally don't want to come off as. After a month of seeing someone and feeling like it is progressing towards exclusivity, do I have the right to ask if she is seeing other people? And if yes, how should I go about doing it so that I don't come off as nosey or jealous?

"how should I go about doing it so that I don't come off as nosey or jealous?"[/QUOTE]

Don't ask, it will be obvious soon enough. If you ask her if you're the only one, it will seem as if you want her to be exclusive to you, and THAT will happen only when, and if, she wants it to.

The question is, are you a jealous and nosey person?

Just keep taking it slow, and try not to look too deep into things. She's already told you once that she was uncertain about even dating you, so don't blow it now.

You just go about your daily affairs, and try not worry about who's on the phone, or where those flowers came from.

Good luck to you.

[superk]

Your time is valuable and of course you have a right to know but don't do it on a confrontational manner since you've been just dating for a month.

YOU SAW A BOUQUET OF ROSES. "Is it your birthday? What's this for?" or "Wow! This is beautiful! Some some suitor gave it?"

FLOODED WITH TEXT MESSAGES. "It's amazing how many people texts you because I only get few text messages in a day you got hundreds. Is that an activity? I wonder if I can join."

If you feel however you need to be direct, then it's fine but yes you have to know where to place yourself. You may say...

"You know I feel something great about us and I am wondering if you feel the same. Is there something that I need to know? Are you seeing other people, if you wont mind me asking."

I have to warn you saying "she wasn't sure if she was ready to start dating" is a hesitation. Why? You have to know something. Things like she is still seeing her ex should place you on break.