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    keisha321's Avatar
    keisha321 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #21

    Jun 18, 2009, 09:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by DoulaLC View Post
    SLOW DOWN! Take some time to regroup and give very careful consideration to your relationship. As others have said, you need to take time to heal physically and emotionally. You are wanting to jump from one major decision right into another.

    Take the time to deal with the issue(s) that put you in this situation. One arguement, one hurtful comment said in anger about not wanting the child, was enough to cause you to want to strike back and hurt him with an act that there is no going back on?

    Are you now wanting a child so badly in hopes of holding onto the relationship? Do you need his support financially.....emotionally? If so, these are not reasons to have a child.

    Maybe it was all just a horrible mistake.....regardless you still need to give yourself some time. Sort these other issues out in your life first....get situated in your new home, work on better communication with your partner, maybe both of you need to learn new ways to deal with anger and disagreements. There is no need to put added pressure on yourselves with a pregnancy. If you have problems in your relationship, a pregnancy will often make them worse not better, so think about any areas you both could improve on first.

    You can often resume sex, and trying to become pregnant, about two weeks after an abortion. I suspect you are due back for a two week check-up? At least you should be. However, waiting a bit longer can be beneficial. Maybe give it a couple of cycles first.....you'll know you are in better shape physically, will have more time to get it together emotionally, can start taking care of yourself with prenatal vitamins and such, before becoming pregnant again.

    I wish you well.....hope things go well for you and your family.
    Thanks so much I am going to wait and I say once again I am not a bad person I just made a dumb decision and regret it but thanks
    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
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    #22

    Jun 18, 2009, 09:43 AM

    No one thinks you're a bad person; we do think you're confused though. Abortion is a very personal decision and we're not here to judge you for that. But we want you to wait to heal and get yourself together before trying for another pregnancy right away.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #23

    Jun 20, 2009, 03:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by keisha321 View Post
    Thanks so much I am going to wait and I say once again I am not a bad person I just made a dumb decision and regret it but thanks
    No one as NM, has pointed is saying you're a bad person. You're a confused person who has made a very bad choice there is a big difference.

    The thing is we all want you to be healed completely physically and emotionally before attempting to bring another child into this world.

    So please seek out counseling to figure out how to process this all, get some well need guidance in how to take steps to finding out why, figure out yourself emotionally and work through the issues that caused you to have an abortion. Once you go through this process and start to learn, heal and grow.

    Then you will be already healed physically. Healing emotionally takes more time. Then after you evaluate all of these things.

    Then maybe try for another baby but in my honest opinion which was not asked. I do not think you should at all, at this time or in the future. Unless you seek out counseling, unless you heal not just physically but also emotionally.

    Joe
    keisha321's Avatar
    keisha321 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #24

    Jun 22, 2009, 12:29 AM

    Thanks I am fine now we talked and decided to wait. Yes I was confused and the hormones still had me going but right now I am at peace.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #25

    Jun 22, 2009, 08:09 AM

    You still need counseling, whether you think your fine or not right now. Still go through the counseling. It is very important.
    cozyk's Avatar
    cozyk Posts: 802, Reputation: 125
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    #26

    Jun 22, 2009, 08:20 AM

    Having an abortion should not be a knee jerk reaction.
    Getting pregnant should not be a knee jerk reaction either.

    You both need to slow down, calm down, and wait until your thinking is more rational and less emotional. Do this for EVERYONE'S sake not just your and his. Think of your older kids and the future of the new baby.

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