[FakeShades]

I'm the idiot here. Does LC mean little contact?

To answer your question, you need NC (no contact people, I'm up to here) for yourself. Right now your still somewhat confused and hurt and you need this time to sort out your feelings.

She didn't feel guilty when she dumped you. She didn't feel guilty when called you an idiot. She didn't feel guilty when she was playing her game. Do not feel bad for that. Do not feel guilty for doing what's best for you.

I agree with this.^

Go NC, don't reply and even give her a chance at feeling less guilty, that's what she's after.

[chuff]

Thanks everyone, I am glad I found this site and it's always been great advice, although at times very hard to follow but I have been doing my best and it's been great help towards what I have been able to follow.

Sometimes the advice is hard to follow. When you get to that point when your emotions take over and you want to react to her in some way start asking yourself questions like, "is the advice to do NC best for me in the long run?" and "who has my best interest in mind, the people giving me the advice or my ex?"

Thanks All, I'm sure I will be having more questions, your Patience would so much be appreciated, as I know I can be a frustrating poster.

Actually, you are one of the best, you follow the advice. Some people have written 100's of pages ignoring everything that you tell them for months and still wonder why she's playing games with him. Those are frustrating posters. Use this site, learn from it and become a better man for you next girl.

[L0stinLimb0]

Sometimes the advice is hard to follow. When you get to that point when your emotions take over and you want to react to her in some way start asking yourself questions like, "is the advice to do NC best for me in the long run?" and "who has my best interest in mind, the people giving me the advice or my ex?"



Actually, you are one of the best, you follow the advice. Some people have written 100's of pages ignoring everything that you tell them for months and still wonder why she's playing games with him. Those are frustrating posters. Use this site, learn from it and become a better man for you next girl.

Thanks All, the last text from her I rec'd was from her was "N when u know what you want, let me know" which was Friday Night, Istill have urges at times to text her, but what I have been doing all this time is sending the text message urges to my female friend, as to help me stop sending them to the Ex.

The problem I ran into, was I messed up, I ended up sending a text saying "Thats what the councellor is for" (which was explained I'm my previous posts we were suppose to see together for the first time after our breakup, that's in a week)to the Ex by accident, because they both have very similar numbers (2 last digits reversed order) and no names attached to them on my contact list, so I guess I messed up huh? my Ex only replied "Good Morning", guess my biggest fault was not erasing her number, which I did right after that, and now feel its best to keep my Cell off.

Told I maybe frustrating, now I have that feeling like all the advice I have followed was for nothing because it looks to her like I just showed weakness... I am back on the NC for what that's worth, after this fiascal ::(

TY
LiL

[L0stinLimb0]

Threads merged


I know I may get blasted for this, meaning going against some advice, when it came to councilling I had one last chance to TRY and possibly save anything that was left, so I did it... BAD MOVE, so I know its my fault...


Well here goes, I have been away for a bit, my last post pretty much said my Ex and I were going to councilling, that lasted 1 session, next one was due in a week, I had also written her a letter pouring my soul to her, boy what an I was...

A day before coucilling was awesome (Even councilling went well, we were suggested a book to read, so we did, she took it to read it, will never see that again), and 7 days later still awesome, what happened is beyond me, because day 10 after councilling, I was ignored in my text messages, till I finally called as she had askedme to do that night prior (Saturday), she was short on the phone, asked her to go out, she said no, I don't get this, the night prior she asked me to sleep over (I didn't) felt weird at her parents, but couple days that lead up to it felt weird.

As mentioned things were awesome for that week, until Saturday night hit we went out, things were great or so they appeared, she got really grumpy with me that night as she went to bed and said it wasn't anything I did, I kissed her and said I love you and I know I put pressure on you sometimes (said that because I had asked if she told her parents she was moving back in), as she said it back I love you and yes you do put pressure on me, come Sunday Morning no Return Messages, called, she had to get of the phone she was babysitting, I just finally laid it on the line and text her if you don't want this, tell me and if it makes it easier for you, then tell me VIA Text, she replied VIA text, "OK Were Done", I don't know Happened, up until that point she was talking moving back in, making plans with the kids and I... just sounded normal again, until that Txt message and followed by another Txt that said, "I don't want to be with anyone", in which I replied, "it had been nice you told me earlier", she said "I thought it would work out"..

I AM LOST, but yet know to stay away all together... I don't get it, my last text to her was "I won't text you, as I see it confuses you more and seems to have pushed you away"... but no reply...

Guess I am Back... and pissed this time, not hurt...

[I wish]

Well, it's done now. Let it all go. It's all in the past. Focus on moving on and learning from your mistakes.

[liz28]

I didn't read you other thread but from this thread it seems you push a little but deep down she knew she didn't want to be in this relationship.

So since the two of you are done let go and accept it is over. You tried 2 times already and it wouldn't make sense to try again. Some things are better left broken.

[L0stinLimb0]

Threads merged again

Back After awhile
Its been awhile since I was on last, can't even remember when, reason being I took my own advice and went back, after being left 3 times... so now its like this, it's a 4th time (in 4 yrs).. back to the same old thing... it all happened again in mid January when she left through a text message, she was living here, but that's that and I have been dealing with it, just seems different this time around... although the pattern is still the same, she leaves, does what she has to do then comes back, leave, does what she has to do, then comes back... and on and on...

She (31) would always use to contact me here and there, and even the last time when she left being the 3rd time, say do you not want to see my kids? (because I was NC with her) then the kids started to text me, which kind of brought me (40) back, even though she doesn't have custody of her kids and feel she didn't want it, I developed a great bond with them (ages 11 and 6) when she did have them... although it's been a couple of months since she left, I have heard nothing from her in a few weeks, which is out of character for her (but which is good for me)

I have changed my game plan this time around, by seeking counseling, to help guide me in letting go, although I shouldn't have to think about it, I still do.. and chances are she won't be txting me again, will help in my recovery.

I felt I had over come an important piece, by keeping NC, even when she txtd me 3 weeks ago, as I never responded, but the big piece I felt I have overcome was no contact on her Birthday, which was Saturday, although I thought I would feel guilty, I didn't and felt that, that was important, especially in my my world, when I have taken her back every time, after being cheated on, lied to and verbally abused... but always seems to be my fault...

I pretty much want to say, that NC is the best thing, if you want to let go and heal as well, want to thank everyone for whom gave me advice before getting tossed a 4th time, I should have listened... as my counselor says, You live and learn, now move forward... Although its hard the 4th time being kicked to the curb as it was the 1st, I have set goals for myself, to help my healing and feel I am very close to that...


LiL

[amicon]

Good luck with your goals and stay NC forever,it works.

Therapy is a good thing and you seem to be on the right path now.

Let the past be the past,live in the present and look forward to the future.

[Devorameira]

You have to strictly stick to the NC rules. No email, no text, no phone calls, no Facebook. You should just change your cell number, then it'd be impossible for her to text you at all.

Believe me - you are better off without her. :)

[vanheart]

She used you.

People like that don't require your time.

Sorry for the kids, they have a cheater for a mother.

Not your problem. YOU are the important one here.

Only yourself now. Do some soul searching with some therapy if possible. May shed some light on your mistakes (who you are & what you want), recovery & how to spot the together ones out there, including yourself.

[chuff]

I just wonder how far along in your progress you would be right now if you had just moved on back in June. The point of NC is to heal yourself. Make no mistake, it sucks at first and it's hard. It's very easy to go back to someone because that's the way your "comfortable" with even if you know it's wrong. But if you had started and stayed with NC back in June you would have had some initial pain and then the pain of the loss but you'd be recovered somewhat or completely at this point.

So what's the you of 10 months from now demanding you do right now?

[L0stinLimb0]

Hey Chuff... first one to agree with you, made the error of breaking NC, I know its hard, gets harder when kids call you, but I know, I messed up and led with my heart, not my emotions.

I think the txting from her is all finished now, which will allow me even better to go on with my life, hence why I have started counseling..

As mentioned, I am not sure why there is that little piece of me holding on, but it's a crucial piece that I need to find why and destroy, and I felt I overcame a BIG hurdle by staying no contact and not txting her on the Saturday for her Birthday..

I can't change my past, but can control my present and future and that's what Iplan on doing...

Thanks Chuff

LiL