[insomniac 666]

I'm 15 for my whole life I have tried to help my mum with her depression although I never knew what was wrong with her. Ever since I can remember I have been the one to look after her when she was sad I figured out at an early age that even if I was really misrable I couldn't show it, as the fact that I was upset mae my mum worse, so I kept my feelings inside. I coulndt talk to my dad as he was away a lot of the time with work and he wuld have told my mum and I didn't want to burden her with my problems. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't make her any better, some days she said I was the only reason she was still alive other days she said it was all my fault and that she had tried to kill herself because of me. I can't explain how guilty this made me feel.

Now however I know why she is depressed, she was raped, 15 years ago and never got over it. What if I'm the child? What if it is my fault? And what if my dad isn't actually my dad? I can't cope with these questions any more but am to scared to find out for sure.

What I want to know is how can I help my mum get oer her depression and is the any thing to make me feel I have a reason to carry on living aart from helping my mum? Because if I am the reson she's so depressed shed be better of with out me, maybe I should kill myself to help her, but what if this makes her worse I want to help her be happy, but I want to be happy and have my own life too is it selfish to think like this?

Please help

[Fr_Chuck]

First no at 15 it is not your job to make your mom better, that is her job. She may have money issues, issues with her husband and more

And of course your death would make it a lot worst, a death solves no issues.

You mom has to got to counseling and learn to be happy on her own,