[papili]

Hello,
My boyfriend and I are planning to start saving more than we already are. We decided that maybe we should try living on one person's income, then save the other ones. I happen to be earning more than him. His work is based on commission and therefore his income is not a standard figure. At times my income is twice his. We sat down and calculated all our expenses and debts. Of course, this amounted to something more than what am earning. So we are at a fix. If we say that for the excess amount that my income can't pay we use his, we will end up saving very little. So this being the case am a little reluctant now to go ahead with this. Of course I shared this with my boyfriend but I think he sees it like I don't want to go along with the idea(the idea was mine in the first place).

I happen to be the kind of person who like settling their debts in good time. Am afraid to start this in case it doesn't work and am left with more debts to pay. On the other hand, I know it wouldn't hurt to try. The other worry is, what if with time, he changes and does not tell me the exact amount he gets as his commission? I trust him but what if at some point this happens? I don't even think he gets a payslip at the end of the month so I can't tell whether he is lying.

Please advice on how we can work this out in case we decide to go this way. Also, is it a good idea to live on one person's income?

[papili]

I'd appreciate your help very much, thanks(assuming of course that all this is for free). We have already done the xpenses and sorely depend on cash. We have not discussed at length whether we will be paying each other's debts. We already have a joint account but wanted to have another savings account for projects. I do trust him. My problem is the fear that he might change with time. I have seen couples move from trusting to otherwise. They hide their payslips and don't mention to their significant other when they get a raise. I don't want us to reach there. So my fear was not based on whether I trust him now but on whether he might change later.

The other thing is, if we went on ahead with this, and our expenses exceeded my income, what can we do?has anyone tried this method and succeeded?

[neverme]

I would not agree with this, I think that no relationship is 100% no holds barred destruction proof and I think that money can be a very destructive element in a relationship and where possible money should not be shared unless it is unavoidable.

I understand and commend your wishes to save some money but why not save what money you can out of your two pay cheques separately, then should you want to invest in something or jointly buy something make that decision then?

Just my 2c

[talaniman]

Given your history, no I would not be mingling finances at this time. For now, until you have advanced more into this, the only plan you need is how to pay the bills you share, and see how well that works and you both pay your individual personal bills and save on your own.