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jjwoodhull · Apr 13, 2009, 07:46 AM

What you are describing is not love. It is obsession. It is a need for power and control - nothing to do with love at all.

Do you have an obsessive personality? Or anger management problems? Are you a control freak?

You need to get ahold of yourself. Counseling sounds like a good idea. In the meantime, back off before you scare this girl away. Spend more time with friends.

nitelight198073 · Apr 13, 2009, 07:47 AM

You are definitely going to push her away if you smother her get a hobby talk to a friend or get help as the above has stated

redhed35 · Apr 13, 2009, 11:18 AM

Don't be "mr brightside" get some distance,be cool!

This woman is going to run run away.

blitzace · Apr 14, 2009, 12:00 PM

I'm dating a girl whose a little aggressive such as punching, kicking, slapping, etc... (tomboy) she also snaps a lot at little comments even though Im sure all her actions are playful, sometimes it's a little too much. Don't get me wrong, Im not a wuss, I'm a laid back guy who ignores about half of everything she does but sometimes it's a little too much, and I have to like slam her on a couch, and sit on her till she cools down, any suggestions? Please?

StaticFX · Apr 14, 2009, 12:02 PM

My suggestion... get a new girlfriend. REALLY

It will get worse later...

I wish · Apr 14, 2009, 12:05 PM

How long have you been dating? How old is she? Is she still going through the maturity phase?

It could get worse, but it could also get better.

I suggest you find a calm moment to discuss your concern with her.

liz28 · Apr 14, 2009, 01:33 PM

I don't think you're a wuss at all because you won't hit your girlfriend back when she hits you. That speaks volumes about your character but I feel bad for the abuse your girlfriend is shelling out on you.

However, how much later are you going put up with your girlfriend temper tantrums? She obiviously have no self control and allows her anger to get the best of her. She have to learn to channel and deal with her anger problems in a more mature, adult way.

You can't change her ways this is something must recongize and work on.

This situation your in is unhealthy and is dangerous because things could escalate fast in heated moments.

If I was you I would leave and find someone who won't hit, punch, nor kick you and who can actually talk things out because nobody wants to be abuse.

roxypox · Apr 14, 2009, 01:51 PM

This doesn't sound good at all, and I agree with Liz, I don't think you're a wuss either and I also think it speaks volumes of you as a person... that you don't hit back and that you try to handle the situations in a non violent manner.

Have you talked to her about the situation and how you feel about it? If so, how did she respond?

In all honesty, I really do think you should leave and break things of with the girl, your relationship sounds unhealthy (both mentally and physically).

talaniman · Apr 15, 2009, 08:43 AM

Leave her alone, before she causes you more trouble than she is worth.

inertia · Apr 15, 2009, 09:14 AM

My ex did this too. It gets worse and it is a clue. I'm like you. Laid back, never responded violently. There is no way to fix it. Saying stop didn't work. Trying to have a mature conversation didn't work. Letting her get away with it didn't work. I was all out of ideas. It doesn't seem like abuse because as guys, its pretty hard for a girl to hurt us physically but it does get very very irritating.

nitelight198073 · Apr 15, 2009, 09:17 AM

Tell her calm down or you will have to move on

h_leann_b · Apr 15, 2009, 09:31 AM

Just because it's a woman hitting a man doesn't mean it is not physical abuse. You should never stay in a relationship with any kind of abuse. If you want to try to work things out, let her know how you feel. If she isn't willing to change you shouldn't be willing to put up with her.

liz28 · Apr 15, 2009, 09:42 AM

Let her work out her own issues through anger management, if she goes, without you.

You don't need this.

roxypox · Apr 15, 2009, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by h_leann_b

Just because its a woman hitting a man doesn't mean it is not physical abuse. You should never stay in a relationship with any kind of abuse. If you want to try to work things out, let her know how you feel. If she isn't willing to change you shouldn't be willing to put up with her.

I think the point made above is important!

I think that some people would think of it as abuse if the situation the OP describes was a guy acting out towards a girl and not vice versa (which of course is the case), and although this might seem playful now it might just grow worse with time. If a girl hits and kicks a guy its still violence, even though the guy might be at an advantage because of physical strength and might have a better chance of guarding against the violence.

Of course I don't know you or the girl you're dating, but it does seem like it would be annoying at best... abuse at worst.

Have you talked to her at all about the way you feel about her behavior?

blitzace · Apr 29, 2009, 11:36 AM

A girl likes me, but she is having personal problems that are confusing and hurting me now... I don't want to seem disinterested, but I don't want to get knocked into friendzone in the middle of all the drama.. When dating, what is an appropriate amount of space to give? I really don't want to blow this one. I was going to go a week without talking to this girl to give her chance to miss me and cleanse myself of certain emotions. Do you guys think this is over doing it?

blitzace · Jun 4, 2009, 03:27 PM

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a whlie but recently just started going out. My problem is she has a male best friend that she liked a lot, but when she saw he wasn't for her, started taking me more seriously. Today she told me she wanted to go to hang out wit him some of his other family and friends and all I said was have fun because I didn't want to seem like the jealous insecure type and I did appreciate her honesty. If it was a typical friend I wouldn't care at all but this was somebody she had feelings for in the past even though she claims that part of her is over. I don't know what I should do, I'm trying to be fair and like I said before not insecure or jealous but if they are truly only friends I don't want to intrude on there friendship. I just want some logical advice please... I also have a very big habit of distancing myself when I don't trust peoples actions.

jmjoseph · Jun 4, 2009, 03:58 PM

Tough call. If you two are that serious, you should tell her how this makes you feel. Tell her you feel as if she's re-sampling the wine that was once too bitter/sweet. That's obviously what's going through your mind, right? You seem like a mature, stable guy. Most guys would freak out. If there's nothing going on, maybe you could be included. I don't know, just an opinion. Matters of the heart are hard. If she was your WIFE, would this be appropriate? Good luck.

coolbrezzeb · Jun 4, 2009, 04:14 PM

Ive experienced what you are experiencing now.if you really love this woman you need to tell her how the situation makes you feel. If all the guy is just an old friend.she should be able to introduce you to him.and you should be able to hang with sometime.She use to have feeling for this guy so you have to make sure she gets the point of not crossing the line with that guy.no calling late nights,etc,etc. another thing is your doing good by the way your attitude is about the situation. Because you aren't really able to tell her to end the friendship with him because they were friends before you two got together... also ask her how she would feel if you had a woman friend that you have been friends with.that should help see where you is coming from

liz28 · Jun 4, 2009, 06:19 PM

If she told you she no longer has feelings for him and only see him as a friend than what is the big deal? You can even accept this friendship and trust her or don't. The choice is yours.

If you can't accept her being friends with this guy than maybe it is time to go fishing for a new girlfriend.

none12345 · Jun 4, 2009, 06:42 PM

There are many ways you can see this situation.

First of all, if she loves you she would never cheat on you. Second you don't want to appear to be too jealous because that will only drive her away.

You fear that if she spends more time with him, she will begin to fall for him which might happen. You need to let her know you feel uncomfortable with this situation.

If this relationship means anything to her, she would respect your viewpoints. You have everyway to feel this knowing she had feelings for him in the past and if she doesn't make an effort to keep her distant with this guy to just a friend, it might be best to leave this while it doesn't get any deeper.