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starlite1 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:26 AM

Honey, if he went behind your back, and did this (even if you two were broken up at the time) I really would have a hard time trusting him. Ultimately this is your decision as to whether to continue the relationship, but honestly he doesn't sound trustworthy at all. He didn't even consider your feelings. Who is this girl anyway? Is she a friend of yours?

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

LEAVE!!!!!!!!

I am appalled he made that decision, to have a child with another, over your objections. That wasn't very thoughtful or caring, him putting the needs of strangers, over you.

See a lawyer, for a free consultation, to protect the right of your own child, by the court system, just in case they change their minds.

That was pretty selfish, and a real deal breaker in my opinion, and a callous disrespect, to the needs, and concerns of you, AND the child you have together.

Sorry, but thats an unthinkable action to take, even if they paid him...............did they??

No they didn't pay him that I know of

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by starlite1

Honey, if he went behind your back, and did this (even if you two were broken up at the time) I really would have a hard time trusting him. Ultimately this is your decision as to whether or not to continue the relationship, but honestly he doesn't sound trustworthy at all. He didn't even consider your feelings. Who is this girl anyway? Is she a friend of yours?

No she notmy friend

Justwantfair · Mar 30, 2009, 09:37 AM

Well you heard it from the best but I second that you leave, then there isn't anything else to worry about.

He betrayed your trust and you are ashamed of the situation you are in now. Time to get out!

CallMeBel · Mar 30, 2009, 11:11 AM

So, will the baby be living with him? Or will the baby be living with the lesbian couple; and he will just see the baby once and a while?

Rich11111 · Mar 30, 2009, 01:00 PM

I might have missed something but it isn't clear in this thread how he got her pregnant, was it artificial insemination or did they have sex. If they had sex not only did he sleep with someone else but he did it to get her pregnant against your objections. And if not he still went against you behind your back which would alone be enough for me to leave him were I in your shoes.

Also he's going to claim the baby? Whilst it is understandable being his biological child, to promise a child to another couple and to never have anything to do with the child, and then suddenly change your mind is a nasty thing to do.

Justwantfair · Mar 30, 2009, 01:05 PM

Also, if he was sleeping with her to get her pregnant, it would take multiple opportunities in order to impregnate her...

A complete violation of trust, especially when the OP already stated to him that she didn't want this.

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by CallMeBel

So, will the baby be living with him? Or will the baby be living with the lesbian couple; and he will just see the baby once and a while?

No the baby won't be living with him it will be living with the 2 girls an they had sex

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Rich11111

I might have missed something but it isn't clear in this thread how he got her pregnant, was it artificial insemination or did they have sex. if they had sex not only did he sleep with someone else but he did it to get her pregnant against your objections. And if not he still went against you behind your back which would alone be enough for me to leave him were i in your shoes.

Also hes going to claim the baby? whilst it is understandable being his biological child, to promise a child to another couple and to never have anything to do with the child, and then suddenly change your mind is a nasty thing to do.

They had sex together

liz28 · Mar 30, 2009, 04:13 PM

Even though you might not see it now but maybe what he did was a blessing in disguise for the gay couple.

A lot of gay couple wants kids and some face a hard time adopting them. I know a lesbian couple and saw the hardship and disappointment they went through when they wanted kids. They went through open adoption agencies and nothing never happen. In the end, one of them asked their male friend to get the other one pregnant. He did but they did it the legal way and now they have 3 more because they adopted kids through foster care.

However, I hope your boyfriend made a wise choice and know about the couple background.

Even though you told him not to do this the choice is ultimately his. It would've been great if he would've took your feelings into consideration and thoroughly took to you about this.

You want other people to make a decision you have to make because it affects your life not hours. So you need to do what is in your best interest and your future and pro or cons rather to stay or go.

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Even though you might not see it now but maybe what he did was a blessing in disguise for the gay couple.

Alot of gay couple wants kids and some face a hard time adopting them. I know a lesbian couple and saw the hardship and disappointment they went through when they wanted kids. They went through open adoption agencies and nothing never happen. In the end, one of them asked their male friend to get the other one pregnant. He did but they did it the legal way and now they have 3 more because they adopted kids through foster care.

However, I hope your boyfriend made a wise choice and know about the couple background.

Even though you told him not to do this the choice is ultimately his. It would've been great if he would've took your feelings into consideration and throughly took to you about this.

You want other people to make a decision you have to make because it affects your life not hours. So you need to do what is in your best interest and your future and pro or cons rather to stay or go.

You know what this is the answer I have been waiting for all day your right but I love him an have a baby with him how can I ever rebuild my trust for him?

liz28 · Mar 30, 2009, 05:01 PM

Trust can be rebuild and will take time because now he sort of have to earn your trust back through actions and words. But once you accept to stay with him you have to be willing to forgive and the forgetting part is kind of tricky.

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Trust can be rebuild and will take time because now he sorta have to earn your trust back through actions and words. But once you accept to stay with him you have to be willing to forgive and the forgetting part is kind of tricky.

I know but I'm willing to be with but now when he wants to go out an chill with his boys I know ima think he's with a girl an I'm going to acuse him all the time

talaniman · Mar 30, 2009, 05:51 PM

I don't think he cares what you think, or how you feel. The only help you get is what you give yourself.

liz28 · Mar 30, 2009, 05:53 PM

I hope that you take my answer for you to just take him back. If this happens I would have a deep discussion with him and all because you have a child with him doesn't mean that you've to be with him. A guy doesn't make you whole or happy this starts from you.

zaria789 · Mar 30, 2009, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

I hope that you take my answer for you to just take him back. If this happens I would have a deep discussion with him and all because you have a child with him doesn't mean that you've to be with him. A guy doesn't make you whole or happy this starts from you.

Thanks for the advice an ima have a deep talk with him 2 night

Rich11111 · Mar 31, 2009, 06:25 AM

He most likely didn't get her pregnant on the first attempt, and even if he did they couldn't of know straight away so they must have had sex regularly for a while. I'm not sure how long you were broken up for or weather it was an actually break up or just a separation. But he still had sex with someone else on a regular basis for a while and completely ignored your opinion. He doesn't seem to care what you think or feel in this matter. Also from what you said he only told you that he had actually done it after you got back together and after she was already pregnant.

Also are you sure that they only had sex whilst you were broken up. Because he clearly didn't mind the idea of doing it when you were together.

He had sex with someone else several times and he ignored your thoughts and feelings, sex is sex, weather its for procreation or pleasure. I really think you should leave him. As others have said, just because you had a child with him doesn't mean you have to stay with him.

He may have given the other couple a gift but he did it willingly knowing it could destroy your relationship.

Justwantfair · Mar 31, 2009, 11:42 AM

How old are all of you?

zaria789 · Mar 31, 2009, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

How old are all of you?

I'm 18 an he's 18

talaniman · Mar 31, 2009, 04:47 PM

Your really to young for all that drama, don't you think??