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    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #21

    Feb 9, 2009, 05:22 PM

    To be honest I am really unsure if he lied but it seems that, if anything, she wants him back and that alone can create drama. How did she get your number? Well she must how went through his phone but he must have told her about you and that could've pissed her up because again she must want him. So again that can create drama. And only you know what you can handle but if you throw her out of the mix you will always be second because his child comes first. So maybe it would best that you don't date someone with a child let alone kids.

    However I must say that me and my fiancé have a child from previous relationships and there is no drama. He met my daughter father and everything is cool because me and my daughter father have no drama. But I must admit that his son mother tried to cause problems but me and her patched things up. I am not going say were the best of friends but we get along but it was a long bumpy road to get to where were at today.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #22

    Feb 10, 2009, 08:53 AM

    It might be different for you liz28 because you both started the relationship with children from another relationship. This didn't happen in my case. The baby came after we fell in love and then bumped me down to number 2. well actually number 3 because I think the order goes baby mama... kid... then me.

    My parents started their relationship when my step brother was still inside his mother. My parents made it work and have been together for 26 years but that's because they stuck by one another no matter what crazy baby mama did.

    The bible says to put your spouse above your children and although I don't agree with a lot of things in the bible that's something that I do believe. If he would put me first I'd stand by his side and struggle with him... custody battles, drama, fights, child support threats and all. He's just trying to be a mediator in this situation and he needs not to be. He shouldn't have to tip toe around his ex to have a life and see his child. He has a right to see his child and he should be trying to make that clear to her instead of making her happy telling her lies and making her believe she is in control.

    But the fact is he's not because he doesn't care about me that much. There's no other excuse for him to be doing and acting the way he is.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #23

    Feb 10, 2009, 09:20 AM

    The bible says to put your spouse above your children
    And yet another good reason for me to discount the bible.

    My husband means the world to me, but he can take care of himself, my kids can't, of course they come first, for both of us.

    Number two, it says put your spouse first, Chrissy, you aren't his spouse.

    Bottom line is that this is your choice, stay or go, but, if you stay then you have to realize that this situation probably isn't going to get better for a while. Will it get better, if you work together than I believe it will.

    So it all comes down to how much you want him in your life and whether he's worth it to you. From your posts, I think you've already decided he's not worth it.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #24

    Feb 10, 2009, 09:52 AM

    I disagree with what the bible said because my kids comes first before anyone including myself. So if I put my kids before myself I am going put them before my spouse. Btw where does it says that in the bible?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #25

    Feb 10, 2009, 09:58 AM
    [QUOTE=chrissymarie;1539915]It might be different for you liz28 because you both started the relationship with children from another relationsen my case. The baby came after we fell in love and then bumped me down to number 2. well actually number 3 because I think the order goes baby mama... kid... then me.


    Actually you started knowing he had a baby on the way then the baby was born after the two of you fell in love. So even though you don't have a child you still started the relationship with someone that was having a baby from a previous relationship.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #26

    Feb 10, 2009, 10:32 AM

    No liz28. The first word of the child was at the end of oct way after we had already fallen in love. Baby mama was keeping it a to herself like a secret weapon to use to break us up. It doesn't matter anymore though. I'm over it. I'm moving on.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #27

    Feb 10, 2009, 10:38 AM

    liz28: Read: 1Peter3:7, Col3:19
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