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    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #21

    Nov 24, 2008, 12:21 PM

    Perhaps you could sub-lease it to someone until your lease is up?
    Forgiveme's Avatar
    Forgiveme Posts: 42, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #22

    Nov 24, 2008, 12:23 PM

    Rent a room and not an apartment
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #23

    Nov 24, 2008, 12:50 PM

    At this point, I do not have the money to actually be on my own. I would like to, but until I can teach this coming September, I do not want to chance anything considering my job is not safe right now.
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #24

    Nov 26, 2008, 09:40 AM

    On Monday night, the ex called me in response to the text messages earlier that week. Anyway, when she called I told her that I was unable to speak. I asked if I could call her back later on that night, she said she couldn't because she was on her way to dinner. So she suggested speaking the following night. I said OK, but she never called back last night. Is this a stupid little game?
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #25

    Nov 26, 2008, 09:43 AM

    It is only a game with one person... you! You are the one being played. Quit calling or contacting her. She is playing you like a piano! Not to be harsh, cause I was in your situation. Don't let yourself become the butt of others' jokes. Time to stand up and be a man.
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:19 AM
    How do I stop thinking about her? How do I let these feelings pass?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #27

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:26 AM

    You really need to focus on your own problems, before you get distracted, or side tracked by her issues.

    You have enough issues with out adding her drama to it. Her actions speak louder than any words you'll hear from her.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #28

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:28 AM
    You stop thinking about her by getting busy with your own life. Join a gym! Go out with friends to bars and clubs. Get out and meet some women! Take on more responsibility at work. Take some college classes, preferably one with a lot of women enrolled. (As long as its not Feminine Studies.) That's how!

    Don't sit at home and mope and dwell of something that can't be fixed. Get out and get busy with your new freedom!!!

    Oh, one more thing, DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE IF SHE CALLS!!! That your biggest problem right there!
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:33 AM
    I am already finishing grad school. I already belong to a gym. I am afraid of running into her if I go out to a club or bar.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #30

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:41 AM
    Then you go to a club or bar that you two have never been to before. You live in/near Manhattan right? There are plenty of places to go. I seriously doubt you will run in to her. If you do.. smile and wave and keep walking.

    You need to get out and start doing stuff. Sitting around ALONE will make you think about her MORE!
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #31

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:47 AM
    You are right. I did not think I would feel this way again. I was making good progress up until a month ago. I think I started comparing the new girl I have been seeing to the old one.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #32

    Nov 26, 2008, 11:52 AM
    Yeah man, don't do that. She is totally different from the last one. Take her out! Show her a good time. You will have a good time too. Let things work from there. You have a lot to offer!

    However, if your not feeling her, you need to tell her. Don't string her along, if your not ready for a new relationship.

    I think that if you take her for who she is, a different woman than the last, and stop comparing her to your ex, you will be surprised.:)
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #33

    Dec 10, 2008, 12:04 PM

    UPDATE!!

    Ok... to be fair, I have decided to break things off with the new girl I was seeing. I know I cannot devote 100% of myself to her, and it is not fair to keep things the way they were going. Aside from that, I have not reached back out the ex girlfriend. I decided that all things happen for a reason, as a result, my relationship ended for a reason. If two people truly love each other and really want to be together, they would not be in our situation. Therefore, it is time to give 100% to myself and focus on the things are most important for me.

    As time goes on, will I continue to miss my ex less?
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #34

    Dec 10, 2008, 12:05 PM

    Yes, as long as you are proactive in rebuilding a life that is perfect for YOU, you will miss your ex less and less. Good for you
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #35

    Dec 10, 2008, 12:35 PM
    What would your suggestion be to me if my ex should call me? What do I do?
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #36

    Dec 10, 2008, 12:36 PM

    Don't pick up
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #37

    Dec 10, 2008, 12:41 PM
    It's that simple I guess
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #38

    Dec 10, 2008, 12:43 PM

    Even better idea... change your phone number
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #39

    Dec 10, 2008, 01:05 PM

    Be proactive in your healing process and it won't matter if your ex ever calls you.

    Why?

    You will have a new life that you have built, without her. You will not need her anymore to feel happy. You will be happy with yourself and what your doing.

    NC helps with this healing process.

    Just wait, you'll see!:)
    Andy2982's Avatar
    Andy2982 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #40

    Dec 10, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Will this also help if I think of her sleeping with another guy? I know this is a weird question, but this is how my mind works.

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