[T-Bag]

I’m 14 years old. Recently I’ve been feeling a strong type of sadness as I realize that my parents are getting older. Currently, they are 50 years old. I keep hearing them say things like “I’m getting too old for this” or “I’m not as young as I used to be.” These kinds of things really depress me. I also watch what they do, my father isn’t as strong and precise with his thoughts as he used to be only 10 years ago, and my mom doesn’t have the same youthful skin she had only 10 years ago. It’s really depressing me that my parents are aging right before my eyes and I can’t do anything about it. I have trouble sleeping at night thinking these thoughts and it’s really killing me. I truly love and care for my parents unlike most teenagers who fail to become conscious of this. Instead of hanging out with my friends and doing school work I try to spend as much time with my parents as I can so I can cherish every fcking moment! However, I cannot change the face they will eventually die and it will break my heart and I cannot change the fact that they’re aging. I’m trying to make the most of the next few years I have with them. Although I’m not really religious at all, my only hope is that we’ll all be reunited for eternity in heaven :) Does anyone have anything supportive to say or any nice advice to help make me feel better? Thanks!

[plonak]

Are you male or female?

It's a nice thing that you love your parents and want to spend all your free time with them, but you should have balance in your life.. you should spend time with your friends more..

Your parents are fine.. they are 50!! That's not old at all.. they still have another 40 years to live... they are at the best points of their life (most financial freedom they probably ever had)

Everybody gets old, it's a part of life.. you shouldn't feel bad for them.. my parents are 50 and they are having the time of their lives..

Please just focus on your life... don't let it get you down.. maybe you can also talk to them about your fears, it helps to express your feelings.

[leyshonzi]

I have this same problem, it's a horrible feeling, it's hard not to get you down but its hormones, I'm 16 and everything is changing, it's the worst feeling ever, it really brings me down I think it's just hormones but at the same time it's a hard feeling, I can see myself at 18-20 missing everything I have now and it's something that you know one day won't be there and its horrible, all the good times you will never have again, it hurts.

I don't know what to either my friend, just hoping that things pick up.

[mattsayshola]

I'm 16 and I think about the same thing, I don't have the energy to type it all though. Best of wishes.

[mattsayshola]

I'm 16 and I think about the same thing, I don't have the energy to type it all though. Best of wishes.

[Nikkigirl2002]

Hi, I searched for help with this too. I got straight to this page. The first entry took me by surprise. Then the next... because I also worried, at 14 - that my parents were old and going to die. Mostly my mom then, began to have surgeries, and I thought she'd die at each one of them. I also worried every day that my grandma would die. Every day. That was when I was 14, 15, 16, 17 18, 19, 20, 21... on and on. And they lived! I thought my brother - who used drugs very much would die too. I worried so much, and then I began to drink a lot. It caused me to forget these things... but I very soon found I drank too much. It wasn't the answer. But, listen to this, I am 54 years old. And I'm worrying now because my parents are old. They are 86 and 85 (87 and 88 I thing, I lied a bit) I'm trying not to think of how old they are. Now they are very old. My mom survived a lot of surgeries, one of them just three months ago. I finally stopped worrying when I got help for my drinking problem. Then I found a 12 step program that caused me to learn prayer. Learning to pray helped me to turn my problems over to someone/something greater than myself and I stopped worrying about my parents, I was 32 years by that time. Stopping drinking was the first step. Then learning to pray was the best thing. BTW my grandma lived to be 87 years old. I was about 28 years old when she died. I cried until I thought I would never stop. Then I wrote a letter to her, telling her how much I missed her and it helped me a lot. So writing, journeling, is a good thing to do. I think I have to do that with my parents now too. It really helped to find all of your entries. You can feel the same at any age. I am 54 and my daughter is 15. She has gone through the feelings of me being really old. She has gotten through that with prayer and acceptance of not being able to change things; at least not for today. I try to live just for today. If everything is OK today, then I try not to worry or be upset by the way things look. And one day at a time everything is maneagable. Everything can be OK just one day at a time. Then if things are OK today, I do the same thing tomorrow. At night I say a quick thank you to God for that day. Then the next morning I ask God for help with this day. And I try to let things go as they come up. Now that I've written and shared this, I feel better and better able to handle it myself. So thank you. When you try this, then you have to tell someone else how this works, and you will see that you get help, just by helping one other person with it. It works, it really does. God bless, good luck, I am not a religious person. I just use God for help. Nancy g. in Ohio P.S. Thanks again for helping me by just being there.

[Nikkigirl2002]

P.S. My brother got help for his drug use. He is 57 yrs old and married and has a daughter. Prayer helped him too. My mom and Gram both prayed a lot for him and he too got better. And I worried so much for all of them. You can worry all your live for one or two things, and what I have heard is that, 90% of the things you worry about don't ever happen. If anything does, its usually not the thing you thought would happen. Also, I don't feel so old , at 54. I exercise, and now I try to eat better. My daughter tries to remind me that taking care of myself is important to her. And sometimes I listen. Sometimes I don't want to listen; but do you always want to listen? So I too, have to try and be grown up enough to listen and to try to do the right thing. Ng

[Nikkigirl2002]

P.P.S. When bad things do happen: I have had a couple of very good friend die. God didn't cause them to die. When bad things happen, they can happen to everyone. It isn't happening to us; it is happening around us. They are the ones who have it happen; death, or illness or sadness. But it affects us, and of course we are going to be sad. We wouldn't be human if we weren't sad. But we can learn to go on. And, we need to be here for the other people. They need us too. I need to realize that I am needed by everyone around me, to help them through their tough times. We don't live in a glass bubble you know. So be there for your friends who you care about. Ng

[hamste]

I have the same problem and I'm 28. I try not to think too much about it. I have told my mother who say that I should concentrate on myself and my life. My father just say that he understands me (?). Anyway I think it's quite normal to have these thoughts as life is not endless. Just don't let thoughts of death scare you into an existential crisis which is really stressful. Hope it helps.