[TrueFaith]

What KP means is

That... when 2 people get together.. they both are Nice. And they have have good qualites

When the relationship ends. Some people normaly make the other person out to be the bad guy. When really they both meant well.

You both start with an Ideal
And if one person breaks that. Then its hard to get it back.

At least that was my understanding of it

Please tell me if I am wrong KP :) I

[Sweet_Guy23]

What KP means is

That... when 2 people get together.. they both are Nice. And they have have good qualites

When the relationship ends. Some people normaly make the other person out to be the bad guy. When really they both meant well.

You both start with an Ideal
And if one person breaks that. Then its hard to get it back.

At least that was my understanding of it

Please tell me if I am wrong KP :) I

What do you mean by...

Both people start off with an idea and if one person breaks that then its hard to get it back???

[TrueFaith]

Sorry what I meant to say was IDEAL

We all have an ideal we think we should live up to.. and they should live up to

Once that gets broken.. it hurts

Hens the term.. live up to there exspectations

[Sweet_Guy23]

Okay yeah... I hear you... man does it hurt... I really saw a future with her too man...

But I know there will be someone else, who will come into my life someday... so I will be fine and patient and work on myself...

[TrueFaith]

Yeah I know. It's a pain isn't it..

When you think someone will be with you forever.

Ill tell you a funny story..

One of my Xs girlfriends..

I was working.. and she was there with me.. I kind of always knew she liked.. me but I personaly never gave it much thought.

As she did not seem my typ of girl. You know how it is..

Anyway.. she starts making me lunch.. and doing all this stuff for me.. so I was like.. hey this is pretty sweet :)
As you know.. I do love being spoilt! :D

This went on for about 2 months. She then final asked me out.. I was like... Mehh! I don't know. I don't feel that way about you..

And she is like well just give us a shot and see how it goes..

So finally! I give in. and go well what the hell.. I was dating all these crazy blond bombshells so ill give it a try!

So we were together.. first relationship where I ever had a girl.. like really look after me..

In a loving.. Couple way. You know. Make me dinner etc etc.

She asked me every single day if I loved her and all that.. and I was like dude you got issue..
Well turns out in the end I did start to fall for her.
And you know.. the Second I started to fall for her..
She went away for 3 months due to work.

Saying the love will never fade. I will be with you till the end of the rainbow.. all that jazz.

She stops emailing me and everything. Lol!

My finally words was after 1 week of her not emailing me..

Yo cat got your finger? Hope all is well.

That was 4 and a half years ago..

So I guess.. she has moved on LoL
So did.

But the point I'm trying to make.. is that no matter what you think in a relationship. Its always a 50/50 chance.

Nothing ever stays the same.
And once you learn to take everything day by day. It all becomes so much easier.

There are some things we can control in life
Other peoples feelings.. sadly is not one of them.
And feelings and emotions
Are one of the most unstayble things out there.


:) anyway man your not alone.

[Jiser]

All valid stuff here. It took me probs about a year half to get over my first 'love'.

As others said also, my most recent conquest, we were both two good people, she's great, sexy, intelligent, nice etc. But bad timing and bad distance. Obviously didn't like me as much as I liked her and wasn't prepared to commit etc.

Perhaps you are too obsessive I know I get way to attached and get way to emotional but :eek: OMG that's who we are. Just accept who you are and try to watch out for what your doing in the future. If you notice you are getting close to someone be more wary.

But as they say every relationship is a chance, Its probably best to take it as well.

It really does take time, that's all you can do. I still think of an ex now and again + when songs come on I just smile and think of good times. I also think what a cow she was and how we weren't a good fit what so ever.

Ive found planning things and trips away helps. Stuff to look forward to helps me get through bad days. E.g. I have trips planned to Prague, U.S. Alaska, festivals etc.

[Sweet_Guy23]

but the point im trying to make.. is that no matter what you think in a relationship. its always a 50/50 chance.

Its a GAMBLE ever time. Nothing is certain.

Nothing ever stays the same.
and once you learn to take everything day by day. it all becomes so much easier

True I've now realized that nothing ever stays the same. Things, people, and agendas are always changing. I just never realized until my last relationship how a woman can fall for you, have a lot of special moments, and then just when things should be ever climbing higher, she's indifferent now and confused... doesn't make any sense... but I understand what your saying.

there are some things we can control in life
other peoples feelings.. sadly is not one of them.
and feelings and emotions
are one of the most unstayble things out there.

Most definitely RIGHT!! Feelings and emotions are the most unstable source of matter that exist... HUMAN ROMANTIC FEELINGS..!

I've realized that the LOVE your friends and family show you is UNCONDITIONAL...but in a ROMANTIC relationship...that LOVE is always CONDITIONAL...theres always a LOOPHOLE attached to it...

[Sweet_Guy23]

but the point im trying to make.. is that no matter what you think in a relationship. its always a 50/50 chance.

Its a GAMBLE ever time. Nothing is certain.

Nothing ever stays the same.
and once you learn to take everything day by day. it all becomes so much easier

True I've now realized that nothing ever stays the same. Things, people, and agendas are always changing. I just never realized until my last relationship how a woman can fall for you, have a lot of special moments, and then just when things should be ever climbing higher, she's indifferent now and confused... doesn't make any sense... but I understand what your saying.

there are some things we can control in life
other peoples feelings.. sadly is not one of them.
and feelings and emotions
are one of the most unstayble things out there.

Most definitely RIGHT!! Feelings and emotions are the most unstable source of matter that exist... HUMAN ROMANTIC FEELINGS..!

I've realized that the LOVE your friends and family show you is UNCONDITIONAL...but in a ROMANTIC relationship...that LOVE is always CONDITIONAL...theres always a LOOPHOLE attached to it...

[Jiser]

No problem tali :P Ill be going with trekamerica again, where the last girl I met was (unfortunately nothing came of it - now she doesn't speak to me).

Anyway back to OP, you are right everything is a chance. I suggest though not to waste your life away worrying about her. I wasted too much time thinking about the last girl like I am now with the current one instead of living my own life..

[Sweet_Guy23]

There's a lot I need to change about myself... STARTING TODAY!! SERIOUSLY... JUST CAME TO THE REALIZATION.

You know I'm 23 yrs old, and you know I'm a good guy, and a good catch you know, I always treated woman with respect and nice... I am a gentleman/romantic/outgoing/goofy/christian type. But know starting TODAY... Im making changes in my life... dealing with me first... and my attitude.

Its just going through that experience with my last relationship... being led on emotionally and falling for someone SOOO HARD... going through all that HURT and CONFUSION and RESENTMENT... its got me thinking... I don't know why it just does...

Does any of you guys understand where I'm coming from?

[Sweet_Guy23]

There's a lot I need to change about myself... STARTING TODAY!! SERIOUSLY... JUST CAME TO THE REALIZATION.

You know I'm 23 yrs old, and you know I'm a good guy, and a good catch you know, I always treated woman with respect and nice... I am a gentleman/romantic/outgoing/goofy/christian type. But know starting TODAY... Im making changes in my life... dealing with me first... and my attitude.

Its just going through that experience with my last relationship... being led on emotionally and falling for someone SOOO HARD... going through all that HURT and CONFUSION and RESENTMENT... its got me thinking... I don't know why it just does...

Does any of you guys understand where I'm coming from?

[TrueFaith]

Of course :) that's what I told myself one day after my X left me.

Never again. Will this happen to me.


Now I'm the ALPHA :P in the relationships!
hehe

[Jiser]

Dude you got to be more careful in future, same as me. Learn to wear your heart in a 'wooden box' and don't get so involved so quickly. Make them less meaningful in your life until you know for sure its going to work out. Even then have a fulfilled life without her.

[TrueFaith]

Women like challenge, once it's gone so are you!"


Just taken from what Chuff said

That is a very very true point

[Sweet_Guy23]

Yep... Confidence, Self-Control, Challenge!!

[Sweet_Guy23]

one thing you need to understand is sometimes good people with a lot in common just dont last. seriously.

You even said me and her were not compatible. But when we first hooked up it seemed to me that we were very compatible... thats what is weird...

i loved a GREAT girl once, right out of college. she rocked. fun. sexy. great sense of humor. sexy. did i mention sexy?

but man... it was bad timing.

im ten years into a great relationship now... with a rock solid woman who has my back. but i will tell you honestly... that girl is now chasing boys down in texas... and if my beloved kicked me to the curb... id might just chase her down.

my point is... one of the hardest things to get over is being able to deal with being hurt and pi$$ed AND at the same time believing that she, and you (as a couple) were real...

it can happen. you can be two great people who mean well and it doesnt work out. ive been there. more than once.

itd be much easier to just say "she was evil and mean and played me"...

much of the time... its not like that. its two people who really try to mean well, and when things dont work out, its tough to get past whether it was real or not.

unfortunately "real" and "not right" arent exclusive.

I wanted to believe that me and her relationship was REAL... I believe it was... you know? Maybe she didn't...

[chuff]

Sweet Guy 23, do you remember what I told you when you first came here? I told you that your pain was going to be worth it because you had something nobody else did. You had the willingness to learn, and I could tell that your girl would stay the same. Look at how far you've come in a couple months, and you are now ready to make changes. This experience she brought on was the best thing that could have happened to you. You are finally going to learn about and appreciate number 1. She's just going to repeat the same behavior over and over stuck in the same spot for years if not a lifetime. Welcome to the big leagues my friend.

[Sweet_Guy23]

Sweet Guy 23, do you remember what I told you when you first came here? I told you that your pain was going to be worth it because you had something nobody else did. You had the willingness to learn, and I could tell that your girl would stay the same. Look at how far you've come in a couple months, and you are now ready to make changes. This experience she brought on was the best thing that could have happened to you. You are finally going to learn about and appreciate number 1. She's just going to repeat the same behavior over and over stuck in the same spot for years if not a lifetime. Welcome to the big leagues my friend.

Yeah for the past two months I've been doing very well with keeping up with NO CONTACT. Its to the point that its becoming second nature to not contact her. Now I still do think about her... mostly taking from it (evaluating what I did wrong so I won't do it again... you know?) But I am now ready to make some changes.

You are finally going to learn about and appreciate number 1.

Finally learn and appreciate number 1... huh??

She's just going to repeat the same behavior over and over stuck in the same spot for years if not a lifetime.

Are you serious?? She's just going the repeat that same behavior over and over again??

[TrueFaith]

Chuff means your number 1

You Doughnut :)

[Sweet_Guy23]

Look at how far you've come in a couple months, and you are now ready to make changes. This experience she brought on was the best thing that could have happened to you. You are finally going to learn about and appreciate number. She's just going to repeat the same behavior over and over stuck in the same spot for years if not a lifetime. Welcome to the big leagues my friend.

Yes Chuff, I am definitely ready to make some changes..! Open to any advice or direction..!

Sweet Guy 23, do you remember what I told you when you first came here? I told you that your pain was going to be worth it because you had something nobody else did. You had the willingness to learn, and I could tell that your girl would stay the same.

Yea I remember you saying that... but I got a question... How do you know she will stay the same? Explain that. So she will stay the same.