[Melanie21]

Sorry Xrayman, if you're looking for a fight you've got the wrong girl. Unless you're from another planet, you know darn well that women can wear anything- suits, ties, you name it, and it's all 'man tailored' sometimes it's in style, sometimes it's not.

But it's NOT usual to see a guy in 'drag' at least not in my neighborhood. You made me look back over everything I wrote and I can't see what your problem is, but thanks for trying to help :)

[Xrayman]

Unless you're from another planet, you know darn well that women can wear anything- suits, ties, you name it, and it's all 'man tailored' sometimes it's in style, sometimes it's not.

What? For a start I am giving you an opposing view, that does not constitue a fight on my planet.

secondly-you are in total agreeance with my posts?? I said that (in essence) women can wear all types of "gender specific" clothing without raising and eyebrow-while men cannot-that is due to societys values, fads, fashion etc.

I was pointing out what you have just reiterated! That's right, a man cannot wear drag in the street-it is not "accepted" by our society.

However I said that you are mistaken to think that a crossdresser is the same as a person "in the closet". Which they are NOT.

please read correctly.

I was not looking for a fight.

[liz28]

I kind of feel that this is unfair, if a man catches his Mrs. wearing his clothes society dictates that that is "okay/no problem/who cares/she's doing it for "comfort" reasons etc. etc."

quite the opposite for the reverse situation as shown.

men used to wear stockings/ powdered hair/wigs etc. in the 1700s, my how things change, now you are gay???

When I wrote my post is was from an experience I had with a guy wearing my underwear based on a dare, never said he was gay or that he was gay. I know that cross dressing doesn't a guy gay it just assumptions that people make regaeding the matter but I am not one of them.

Secondly, I wasn't speaking for society, I was speaking the behalf of myself. I can't say how I would react if I find out my fiancé cross dresses, I don't know but I wouldn't think he was gay. That's all I stated in my post, I don' know what my reaction would be.

Also, a lot of men that cross dresses have a fetish for this. Where I live it's common to see guys in women clothing, meaning high heels, tights, shirts, etc. I see it a lot so I use to it but I don't know how I'd would react seeing my fiancé dressed like that.

[liz28]

Also, my favorite artist Prince wear high heels and spandex but I still love him and I don't think he's gay and even if he was I wouldn't care.

[Xrayman]

Oh brother, things get lost in translation too much here.

[smoothy]

As I guy speaking I can't see why a guy would do it. But then its not something guys talk about in the locker room so who knows how many do. I know I'm not one of them. And can't seem to remember any girlfriends telling me about guys they knew that did.

However it's a harmless thing unless you go out like that. Hell, if you are fine with it then have some fun with it together...


Its just nothing I for one have any desire to do.

[Melanie21]

Here's an interesting clip from post 4 under 'Men's Health > weird guy'

"I assure you, he likely is straight. Gay men engage in drag more as a form of social recreation, pure entertainment. As both a complex homage to and light-hearted parody of femininity.

"Crossdressing is far more complex. People dress to different degrees and for widely differeng reasons. A crossdresser is typically a man who enjoys expressing his feminine side, though is likely often fairly turned off by the prospect of becoming a full-time woman. He likely enjoys his masculinity on some level, and may even revel in the fact of what is concealed beneath his garmnets. It's about the illusion. Crossdressers often have an almost compulsive need to dress occasionally, as a form of extreme relief, a release from the pressure of being forced to be a man in an aggressive, take charge sense. Typically, dressing itself is the pleasure, it is very tactile and image oriented. There is very often relatively little erotic pleasure gleaned from such rituals.

"This is where transvestites differ. Transvestism is entirely about the erotic pleasure derived. They tend to dress far less elaborately, often have little desire to pass as the opposite sex, and can be very fetishistic in their choice of clothing. Whether it be simply wearing panties under a business suit, or fixating upon a particular type of footwear (high heels, ballet boots, etc.)"

[Melanie21]

Just wanted to get back to Xrayman before maybe the thread closed. My using the word 'closet' was a mistake. I really meant something people did that they didn't talk about, but people do a lot of things in private they don't talk about like bedroom habits - and that's not being in any 'closet'.

As for Simone's 30% I still think she may be right, but I'm wondering where they all are. I don't see any guy posts like 'yes it's me here I am' or gal posts like 'yeah it was the spice that saved my marriage'. Like I thought we'd see 'I thought he was going to hit on his sec'y buy he tried my stuff and now he can't wait to come home and get into my drawers (literally)'.

Maybe those who do it are too embarrassed to say it. Well I thought I was going to ask a pretty simple first question on the forums but I was really surprised to find out where it went!

The time and effort everybody puts into their posts is really cool! Thanks

[karentgny]

Wow... amazing thread... so little real knowledge. I happen to be a bit of an authority on this topic. Let's start... Drag queens are 95% gay men. Period. Crossdressers are 95% hetero men. The remaining 5% are either asexual, bisexual or gay. These statistics have been verified over and over by human sexuality and gender identity studies. Crossdressing is not a sexual issue it is one of gender identity. Some crossdressers go on to gender changing situations and sexual reassignment surgery so that they may physically become the gender they identify the most with. The percentage of CDs that go this way is unknown but the numbers appear to be increasing. Most CDs never get that far. Most are content to dress a little at home, remaining in the closet (so to speak)... some for fear of being discovered, some because they cannot complete the female illusion by being passable and some because their interest is limited. Others do go out in public and have honed their skills at being passable to the point that they ARE passable, or are so close to it that it doesn't matter to them if they are "READ". Mant crossdressers are otherwise very macho males who live with a very strong "female side" to their gender identity. Many are very happily married men with families. I know because I am one of the latter. I am an ex-welter weight boxer. (I won titles in Europe.) I am an ex-Army airborne ranger who has seen much combat action... and I am a crossdresser who is "passable". I am married to a beautiful lingerie model who accompanies me when I go out and we have a ball together. We go shopping, we go to dinner and to various conventions all the while I dress and pass as a woman.. . and we have a fantastic sex life too... so it's not about sexuality... it's about gender. 80% of my identity is macho male while 20% is decidedly feminine. I have been this way from birth and there is no change in sight... My wife tuned into me when we were dating and I confessed what made me different. It was difficult at first but as she gained more insight into what I was about, her acceptance level went through the roof. All of our children know about me as do her parents and my parents... Not all are happy about it but only because they do not understand it. Ignorance does breed fear... and people do fear what they don't understand.

[Melanie21]

Cool, sounds like you know a lot from personal experience and you were lucky to meet someone understanding and beautiful too. I don't think I would be comfortable going out with a guy making believe he was a girl. I guess my original question wasn't really clear. I was thinking of all these guys who grew up reading mens magazines where the sexy pictures all have lingerie in them, so a whole lot of those guys might try a little kinky fun, especially if they have some girl side like you. Guys joke about it a lot so I figured maybe there was more going on than people thought. So I said I thought if that's what sent him up to the ceiling, it might be fun. But this whole announcing to families and stuff is a little more than I think I'd want to get into.

[kp2171]

So... per the op'ers request, I'm looking only at the OP ?

... what the hell? Why do you live with %s? Can't you make your own decision? Live with your own opinion?

Should you ask every new guy if he cross dresses??

Uhm... well, if you ask that of me on the first date I'm going to think you are a little "off center" and maybe "damaged goods"...

Doesn't mean it isn't a question worth asking. That's up to you.

But to me... if I were a single guy hearing that question... id think you might have some emotional baggage to handle that I didn't really need or want to deal with.

Not right or wrong. Just my first impression.

[Melanie21]

Maybe that part of my question was a little rhetorical. No, I don't really plan to ask it to everybody- and not like right after Hi my name is..

[shyfoxie]

If you want a guy to wear your things, go ahead. But most guys aren't seriously into it as a major part of their lives, and it could be awkward to ask if it doesn't come up.

[Melanie21]

OK, I'm convinced.. no asking! By the way there was another letter in the Annie's Mailbox column related to the thread. A woman happily married for years with children and grandchildren is running to a counselor distraught cause her husband decided to finally reveal his hobby - in full drag. And the same answer - get counseling together and maybe come to a compromise! Hey, I can't figure it out - that's why I asked in the first place :)